Friday, February 26, 2010

Facebook Can Be Addictive But It's A Good Alternative To "American Idol" and "Jersey Shore"

Facebook is a fascinating site for many reasons, but for me, the ability to look up old friends from the past is invaluable. Despite some of the minor disadvantages like exposure to cyber theft and the occasional friend request from people with no vowels in their names, it is a pleasing experience.

Of course, there's always someone who posts every two minutes with the thought that their friends would be interested in knowing what they had for lunch a half hour ago or the estimated time until their next bowel movement. This is probably a good indication that they are spending way too much time on Facebook.

I'm not much into the games that are constantly touted, mainly because I'm already semi-addicted to Club Pogo. That fact, in and of itself, is time consuming. I fear that if I were to get involved with the Facebook games, I'd have to install a toilet next to my computer.

Facebook is a way for family and friends to keep in touch and I often read or see pictures of what people are doing, their family pictures and all the general nonsense that goes on in everyday life. The occasional rants and raves notwithstanding, I fine the site to be very interesting and I look forward each day to new posts.

Nascar Stock Car Racing is in Las Vegas this weekend with the Nationwide series race on Saturday afternoon at 4:30 pm (EST) on ESPN2. The Sprint Cup Series will race on Sunday afternoon beginning at 3:00 pm (EST) and will be televised on FOX.

Points leader Kevin Harvick will seek to maintain his current lead for the championship. Hopefully Sunday's race will have closer competition than the California race last Sunday. I'll be curious to see if the racing gods (and Nascar) will again give Jimmie Johnson another lucky break or if he will have to race on his own.

The News As I See It: President Obozo hosted a bipartisan healthcare summit yesterday. They met for a little more than six hours which, coincidentally, happens to be the average wait time at the emergency room, if you’re bleeding. Obozo and several others made the point that Congress uses taxpayer money to buy themselves excellent health insurance. It actually led to a plan to make everyone in the country a member of Congress, so congratulations, representatives.

About a third of the members of Congress are on Twitter, which is probably why nothing is getting done. Speaking of Twitter, there’s a new member, the Dalai Lama. Today, he got to find out what Tila Tequila had for breakfast. The Dalai Lama probably joined Twitter just to make China mad. Everything he does annoys China, it’s like he’s Ellen DeGeneres and China is Simon Cowell.

The president of Toyota, Akio Toyoda, came in from Japan to testify in front of Congress. It was kind of weird to see a car company C.E.O. appear before Congress and not ask for $10 billion. Congress stated that the company knew about the problems with the brakes years ago and were wondering why did they drag their feet? My guess is that they were trying to stop the car.

Dick Cheney, has been released from the hospital and doctors say he’ll be up and shooting lawyers in the face in no time. Doctors have given him strict instructions not to watch "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" any more. The East Coast got lambasted with up to 30 inches of snow in the last couple of days. I’m pretty sure that's God's punishment for watching "Jersey Shore."

And finally: The International Olympic Committee announced that it has taken back the gold medal previously awarded to American skier Lindsey Vonn and given it to U.S. President Barack Obama. Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal more than Vonn because no one has ever gone downhill faster than he has.

This Date In History: 1815; Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from exile on the island of Elba. 1870; A 312-ft long pneumatic subway was opened in New York City; funding for a larger version never materialized. 1901; Leaders of the Boxer Uprising in China, Chi-hsui and Hsu Cheng-yu, were beheaded.

1919; Grand Canyon National Park was established. 1935; RADAR (Radio Detection and Ranging) was first demonstrated by Robert Watson-Watt. 1993; A bomb exploded at the World Trade Center in New York. The blast killed six people and injured more than 1,000.

Picture Of The Day: I like the picture of the computer and toilet combination, but if one is going to go that far, there should also be a refrigerator nearby. Today's pictures are a bit weird, but then, again, so am I.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Oh, give me a home, where the buffalo roam and I'll show you a house full of shit. 2) My friend told he he was going to a wild, sexy costume party next week and I asked him what costume he would wear. He told me that he's going as Abe Lincoln because his last four scores were seven years ago. 3) If a thief was being given a lie detector test and he lied, would his pants catch on fire? 4) My friend asked me that if he was going to make a parachute jump, how high should he be? I told him three days of steady drinking should do it. 5) The advantages of mother's milk are: a) It is a perfect formula for the child. b) It provides immunity against several diseases. c) It is always available as needed. d) It is always at the right temperature e) It is inexpensive. f) It bonds the child to the mother, and vice versa. g) It comes in cute containers.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Victor Hugo, writer 1802, Buffalo Bill Cody, American Plainsman 1846, Levi Strauss, entrepreneur, inventor 1829, John Harvey Kellogg, surgeon, advocate of dietary reform 1852, Johnny Cash, singer 1932, Jenny Thompson, swimmer 1973.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: The psychology teacher was lecturing his students on emotional extremes. The teacher said, "Just to establish some parameters, Robert, what is the opposite of joy?" Robert said, "Sadness?" The teacher said, "That's correct, Robert."

The teacher turned to Mike and asked, "And the opposite of depression, Michael?" Michael answered, "Elation." The teacher said, "That's right." The teacher then looked to the rear of the class where Bubba seemed to be dozing off, "And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?" Bubba replied, "I believe that would be giddyup."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt and my pal Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Churchill Downs, the famous Louisville horse race track, to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding onto their "wee-wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the fourth grade." He replied. "No, ma'am, I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race today."

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member).

A wise student pipes up, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with, "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, a police spokesperson said he believed the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

When asked to comment on the arrest, former President George "Dubya" Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

That's it for today my little glow worms. Remember, even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head. T.G.I.F. - I'm going to AREA 51 for Happy Hour and a little rest and recreation. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


Linda's World said...

I happened on "Jersey Shore" once and could not believe what I was seeing. Talk about the dumbing down of America! Ellen had a few of them on her show a couple weeks ago and she was asking them questions that any high school graduate should know. She asked the chick with the stupid looking high hair to name the 13 colonies...the girl got a couple of them right but then she mentioned Canada. What are these dummies going to do when this show flops and hopefully that will happen soon. Have a marvy weekend...Linda

Rose said...

Excellent post as always. I do agree that your first graphic should have had a refrigerator...then it would be perfect! LOL

Have fun tonight.

Hugs, Rose

garnett109 said...

The answer to #5 is g

Senorita said...

I still haven't made the move to Facebook. I just don't have the desire to. I have my blog. And people that care can stop by. Or call/ visit me.

Martha's Menagerie said...

Sooner or later I'll give in and set up a facebook page. I just hear about so many getting addicted and leaving blogger - I don't wanna! I love it here, but what if I get addicted and can't help it? Noooo I don't wanna go! Have a great time this evening Jimmy :-)

Coelha :B said...

Jersey Shore is disgusting. I watched it once, and dared not to waste my time on that crap ever again. I'm not much a T.V. person, so while hubby is watching the race this weekend, I'll probably be on the computer alongside, trying to catch up on my blogs.. I agree, Facebook is great.. Have a great weekend Jimmy! :)

Paula said...

I'm here laughing at the teacher jokes. Most of them do earn their pay and more.

Joann said...

I LOVE FACEBOOK!!! Yes, I am SOOO ADDICTED!! I try to get by the blogs that are left to read and comment.... but if I don't, I see most of the on FB!! LOL!!