Friday, February 5, 2010

The Weekend Has Arrived - The Budweiser Shootout And The Super Bowl

It's Super Bowl weekend and everyone will be affected in one form or another. For most men, it is the football party of the year where men and women get together to barbecue, party and otherwise get about half-slammed. The party revelry notwithstanding, mucho money will exchange hands this weekend in the form of bets and/or football pools.

The game has a great match-up with two really good teams. The Indianapolis Colts are 6 point favorites over the underdog New Orleans Saints. Saint's fans have waited a long time for their team to get into the Super Bowl, not as long as they waited for FEMA, but a long time.

Super Bowl Sunday is also a day where even football widows can be partially entertained watching the television commercials. At a time when broadcast networks are struggling, there are always companies that can't resist shelling out millions to show off their brands in front of a guaranteed massive audience. This year, CBS is charging about $2.5 million per 30-second spot.

Budweiser is probably the champion advertiser of all time, having shelled out over 350 million dollars in Super Bowl advertising over the years. The Budweiser Clydesdale horses still remain the number one fan favorite, but who can forget the Budweiser frogs of yesteryear and the infamous, Louie the Lizard (turn off the music on the playlist on my sidebar).

The News As I See It: President Obozo won't be at the Super Bowl, but in the spirit of cooperation, he’s invited a number of Republicans to attend his Super Bowl party. That should be interesting. They’ll need a two-thirds vote before they can pass the Doritos. Obozo is going to skip the Winter Olympics in Vancouver as well. They said it would be very expensive to arrange security for him, so instead, they’re sending Joe Biden because, realistically, who cares?

Well, it happened again. Two Northwest pilots overshot Minneapolis Airport by 500 miles. They weren’t in a plane, they were in a Toyota that wouldn’t stop. Toyota is asking anyone who owns a new Prius to return it to the dealership as slowly as they possibly can. President Obozo has announced his administration’s plan to build a new $8 billion high-speed rail system. Have you ever been on Amtrak? They can’t even figure out how to keep a low-speed rail system from crashing.

The Pentagon now wants to allow gays to serve openly in the military. You know what that means? More parades! I think it was Bill Clinton who popularized the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Don't confuse that with another Clinton policy, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Hillary." That was a whole different policy.

This Date In History: 1811; After George III was declared insane, the Prince of Wales became Prince Regent of England, and later George IV. 1917; Congress passed the Immigration Act, which restricted Asian immigration, over President Wilson's veto. 1917; Mexico adopted its present constitution. 1937; FDR proposed increasing the number of Supreme Court justice, "packing" the court.

1994; Byron De La Beckwith was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of Medgar Evers, 30 years after the crime in Jackson, Mississippi. 1997; Under international pressure, three of Switzerland's biggest banks created a fund worth 100 million Swiss francs for Holocaust victims and their families.

Picture Of The Day: Budweiser, the king of beers, is sponsoring the Budweiser Shootout at Daytona International Speedway on Saturday night and they will also be displaying their excellent commercials during the Super Bowl game on Sunday.

For their dedication and involvement in sports, they are the featured pictures for today. This Bud's for you!

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you 2) You tell a blonde is having a bad day when her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil. 3) It takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 1 to extend your middle finger and say bite me. 4) Just think before most men get married, they had thousands of faults they didn't even know about. 5) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Sir Robert Peel, statesman 1788, Dwight L. Moody, evangelist 1837, Belle Starr, outlaw 1848, Adlai Stevenson, American Statesman 1900, Norton Simon, food industry executive, art collector 1907, Hank Aaron, baseball player 1934, Jennifer Jason Leigh, actress 1962, Jeremy Sumpter, actor 1989.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island for ten long years. One day he sees a ship on the horizon and starts waving his arms until the ship heads for the shore.

The captain of the ship and the man began talking. "I thought I'd never get rescued." The captain asks,"How long have you been here?" The man replies, "Ten years." The captain asks, "How have you coped with all that time alone?" The man says, "Well I'm a very resourceful fellow. I built a house and learned to hunt and fish."

The captain says, "But ten years without sex?" The man says, "Not completely. About six months ago, I was down here on the shore when I noticed an ostrich with it's head stuck in the sand. I crept up behind it and know." The captain says, "Oh you poor man, that must have been horrible." The man says, "Well, it was fine for the first five miles, but then we got out of step."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals, Anne, and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. He said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. When I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "Well, brothers, you know that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. Then I began to read to my bear from God's holy word! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!"

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

An old man with tickets to the Super Bowl finds his seat and relaxes. As he sits down, a stranger comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. The old man says, "No", the seat is empty." The stranger says, "That's incredible. Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"

The old man says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't attended together since we got married in 1970." The stranger replies, "I'm sorry to hear that. Couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land". Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land". Now Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!

That's it for today my little glow worms. Remember, if at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. AREA 51 should be fun tonight and Happy Hour calls. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


Anne said...

I need to stop by here more often. The music transforms me and the jokes always put a smile on my face. Smooches! Anne

Jude said...

Looking forward to Super Bowl Sunday. I have stopped by now and then. Sorry I haven't left any comments.
P.S.: I like the music and the ads.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Hi Jimmy,
The jokes were great this time! My wife likes football more than I do...LOL, and she went shopping for the Super Bowl yesterday to buy a few pizzas, etc., but I think I need more beer. Heck, I'll just drink some champagne.

Tom S

garnett109 said...

Gotta Love Louie

Martha@Menagerie said...

What am I going to do Jimmy - I gave up my beloved Bud for 3 months, January - March! Hurry, someone promise to down a 12 pack on Sunday for me! ;-)

natalie said...

gee havea great SuperBowl party!
hugs and I love your music!
natalie p.s. please stop by my blog someime an say a few words

Linda's World said...

Since I'm not an "athletic supporter" I won't be watching the Super Bowl. Actually going to a surprise 70th birthday party for a friend Sunday afternoon. But I know millions will be glued to the TV, rooting for their favorite team. Happy weekend....Linda in WA

Linda's World said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that my idea of a Super Bowl is a self cleaning toilet. Linda

Tabby said...

I sure wish we could barbque for the Super Bowl here but we would need snow suits. I am rooting for the Saints, I am one of those sports loving females :) Enjoy this great sporting weekend.