Friday, June 8, 2012
"I'll Have Another" Scratched From The Belmont Stakes
I was really looking forward to watch the Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown. The main reason was to watch I'll Have Another attempt to become just the twelfth horse in history win all three races. Sadly, my hopes to see the first Triple Crown winner in 34 years were dashed today.
I’ll Have Another, winner of the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes last month, was scratched on the eve of the Belmont Stakes, ending his attempt to become just the 12th horse in history to win all three races.
The horse experienced swelling in his left front leg after a workout this morning, trainer Doug O’Neill said. A doctor said it was the beginning of tendinitis and the end of his racing career. I'll Have Another will be retired to stud.
No horse has won the Triple Crown since Affirmed in 1978 and the magnificent Secretariat in 1973. I was fortunate to see both of those horses race and I believe I'll Have Another had a legitimate shot to be a Triple Crown Winner.
The News As I See It: Mitt Romney's got to think about picking a vice president pretty soon and it's kind of a tough situation because political pundits say he needs to select a running mate that is duller than he is. The only problem is that guy is already vice president.
There were tense moments this week during Obama's visit to Los Angeles. Three private planes drifted into his restricted air space. And as you know, the president's restricted air space can only be penetrated by liberals donating more than $50,000. It's rumored that Obama quietly attended the L.A. Kings hockey game. He just tried to blend in with the crowd like all the other black Hawaiians in a flowered shirts.
DC Comics has come out with the news that superhero Green Lantern is gay. When he heard the news, Batman turned to Superman and said, "I told you."
Another al-Qaida terrorist was killed by a drone. I'm telling you, nowadays these al-Qaida leaders, they don't last as long as a Kardashian marriage.
Obama’s campaign is spending $12 million on a one-minute commercial hitting Mitt Romney’s business record. Though Obama’s made some bad business moves too — like spending $12 million on a one-minute commercial.
Former GOP candidate Rick Santorum said that he’s planning to make a big announcement tomorrow. It’ll probably be something really huge like, "Hello shoppers, we’ve got a 2-for-1 sale on Tide in aisle five!"
Mitt Romney's campaign is in the news for misspelling several words on his promotional items. Romney issued a press release that said, "I'll get to the bottom of this or my name isn't Matt Ramrod."
Obama gave rock singer Bon Jovi a ride to New York City on Air Force One. That makes sense – Bon Jovi’s "living on a prayer" while Obama’s campaigning on one.
This Date In History: 632; The prophet Muhammad died. 1845; Andrew Jackson, the 7th president of the United States, died in Tennessee. 1861; Tennessee became the 11th and last state to secede from the Union. 1968; James Earl Ray, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s, assassin, was arrested.
1982; President Reagan became the first American president to address a joint session of Britain’s Parliament. 1983; Negro Baseball League great Satchel Paige died. 2001; Tony Blair and his Labour Party won a second term, overwhelming the opposition at the polls.
Picture Of The Day: The lead pictures are of the thoroughbred "I'll Have Another" in his come from behind win at the Preakness Stakes in May. The picture of the day, however, is part of a series of pictures I like to call, "Paula's Turtles."
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A hand grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 2) Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of a pool and throw them fish. 3) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4) The economy is getting so bad that Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. 5) Xylophone is spelled with an X. That's wrong. It should start with a Z. The next time you spell xylophone, use a Z. If someone says, "That's wrong!", you say, "No, it's not. If you think that's wrong, then you need to have your head Z-rayed.".....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 8th: Today doesn't look very promising but the good news is that report you were waiting for from your doctor is negative. Take life with a grain of salt ...plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila. Remember, there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. Chance of romance is 21.06 percent, so buy the big bottle of tequila.
Birthdays: My friend Ignacio - Happy Birthday! 19XX, Robert Schumann, composer 1810, Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect 1867, Virginia Randolph, educator 1874, Barbara Bush, former first lady 1925, Leroy Neiman, painter and printmaker 1927, Scott Adams cartoonist 1957.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A young reporter was interviewing a woman who had just reached her hundredth birthday. He asked, "To what do you attribute your remarkable good health?" She said, thoughtfully, "Well, I've always eaten moderately, worked hard, I don't smoke or drink and I keep good hours."
The reporter asked, "Have you ever been bedridden?" The elderly lady responded, "Sure, but don't put that in your paper."
Two older gentlemen (whose names were neither Garnett, Jack nor Jimmy) had been without sex for several years. They decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some female company.
When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.
After the two men were finished, they started walking home and began to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned. How was it for you?" The second man replied, "I'm pretty sure mine was a witch. When I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. She said, "Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" The genie replied, "No, you have been very bad recently and because of this, I can only give you one wish."
Monica says, "Let's see.....I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. I don't need money, because after I write my book and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want."
She continued, "I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed." "Poof!" Just like that, her ears were gone.
A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had a very important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to church every Sunday and quit drinking!"
Just then, a parking place appeared - the closest one imaginable. The man looked up again and said, "Never mind, I just found one."
A man called the police and said, "Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" A deputy replied, "Yes, what can I do for you?" The man said, "I'm calling to report my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there." The deputy said, "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search each log in the the wood pile and find nothing; frustrated, they get axes and split open every piece of wood but still find no marijuana. They mutter obscenities and sneer at Virgil and finally leave.
Shortly after, the phone rings at Virgil's house a man says, "Hey, Virgil, this here's Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?" Virgil answered, "Yeah!" Floyd asked, "Did they chop your firewood for the winter?" Virgil said, "Yep!" Floyd answered, "Happy Birthday, buddy!"
That's it for today, my little butterflies. Remember, never get a job in a fire hydrant factory. You can't park anywhere near the place. I'm off to AREA 51 for happy hour and a little karaoke. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !