Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Release The Drones !

The U.S. military has obtained a new video showing Sgt Bowe Bergdahl, the only known American soldier in captivity, whose health appears to be diminishing, according to a senior U.S. defense official.

Bergdahl disappeared June 30, 2009, while based in eastern Afghanistan. The Taliban claimed his capture in a video released in mid-July that year, which showed the young soldier appearing downcast and frightened. In the latest video received by the military, Bergdahl was speaking and appeared "gaunt."

Bergdahl is believed to be held by the Taliban-linked Haqqani network in Pakistan. Last year, the Taliban offered a deal to free Bergdahl in exchange for five of their most senior operatives being held at Guatanamo Bay. The proposal was rejected by the Obama administration over a longstanding U.S. policy of not negotiating with terrorists.

On a personal note, I would make the towelheads a proposition that they release the prisoner or face immediate consequences, including the advice that if should any harm come to the soldier, then armed drones would begin eliminating any and all villages in the Eastern Pakistan mountains that shelter the Taliban with no regard as to who lives there. Enough of this shit ! 

The News As I See It: Did you watch the Golden Globes? The big winner was "American Hustle," a film about the marketing of Obamacare.

Justin Bieber reportedly caused $20,000 in damage to his neighbor's home by egging it. It's being called the most pointless use of an egg since the fertilization of Justin Bieber. Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched. Police discovered cocaine, but no evidence of talent.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie delivered his state of the state address He said the state is improving, but admitted that it's still New Jersey.

People investigating the Chris Christie bridge scandal say the governor could be removed from office. Critics say moving Christie from office would involve a three-ton construction crane.

In the wake of the embarrassing Chris Christie scandal, the governor has fired the person responsible. To which Obama said, "You can do that?"

A Japanese company bought the Jim Beam whiskey distillery for $16 billion. The next morning, the Japanese company CEO woke up in an alley and said, "I did what?"

There are reports that French President Francois Hollande had an affair with an actress who is 18 years younger than him. Under French law, he could face up to 30 high fives.

Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees is being suspended 162 games without pay for using performance-enhancing drugs. A-Rod's suspension is the longest doping penalty in the history of baseball. So another record for A-Rod. What a career he's had.

This Date In History: 1559; Queen Elizabeth I was crowned in Westminster Abbey. 1759; The British Museum opened. 1777; The Republic of New Connecticut declared its independence. Six months later it was renamed Vermont. 1870; The donkey was first used as symbol of the Democratic Party in Harper's Weekly.

1943; The world's largest office building, the Pentagon, was completed. 1967; The first Super Bowl was played - Green Bay Packers 35, Kansas City Chiefs 10. 1973; President Nixon orders halt to offensive operations in North Vietnam.

1992; The European Community recognized Croatia and Slovenia as separate states, effectively ending the Yugoslav federation, founded in 1918.

2009; After allegedly striking a flock of geese, US Airways Flight 1549, en route from La Guardia Airport, New York City, to Charlotte, N.C., is forced to land in the Hudson River. All 150 passengers and 5 crew members survived. The pilot, Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III, was hailed as the "Hero of the Hudson" for his quick thinking and deft landing of the plane.

Picture Of The Day: This picture reminds me of Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters and Debbie Wasserman Schulz.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A weeping willow tree is just like a regular willow tree, only married. 2) Necessity is the mother of invention and the wife of Bill. Bill is the only one in the family with a normal name. 3) Getting older is like a walk in the park where no one picks up after the dogs. 4) I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll keep you posted. 5) You can tell a blonde is having a bad day when her tampon is behind her ear and she cant find her pencil.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeCapricorn - January 15th: Don't trust any one who says, "A little birdie told me." Besides the fact that little birdies can't speak, they're renown liars. If for some unknown reason, the person was able to communicate with little birdies, chances are he or she escaped from a farm.

Birthdays: My pal Regina - Happy Birthday girl ! 19XX, Moliere, playwright 1622, Abigail Kelley Foster, abolitionist 1810, Edward Teller, atomic physicist 1908, Lloyd Bridges, actor 1913, Robert Byrd, political leader 1917, Gamal Nasser, Egyptian political leader 1918.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A couple who had been married for 50 years were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey,we`ve been married for 50 years." She replied, "Yeah, just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

The old man said, "I Know. We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." Granny snickered, "Well, what do you say? Wanna get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

The little old lady breathlessly replied, "You know,honey, my nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." Gramps replied, "I wouldn`t be surprised, one`s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal..... 

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" The husband replied, "Yep. In-laws."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The young reporter was interviewing a woman who had just reached her hundredth birthday. He asked, "To what do you attribute your remarkable good health?"

She said, thoughtfully, "Well, I've always eaten moderately and worked hard. I never smoked or drank and I keep good hours."

The reporter asked, "Have you ever been bedridden?" The elderly lady replied, "Well sure, but don't put that in your newspaper."

A foursome of guys is waiting at the mens' tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time.

When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those f*cking lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!" (He never even had a chance to duck).

That's it for today, my little eaglets. Remember, if I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking into any gyms. I'm off to AREA 51 for happy hour.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Intro right on!
YOur news was good. Got a big smile from "Can you do that?"
I ain't commenting on the Willow tree, but it is a GREAT line!
But my friend, the lady married fifty years, coffee/oatmeal, ain't funny Jimmy! Just wait til paula gets here! (Not to mention Sherry!)
LOL have a good one, hope yo9uy enjoyed Happy Hour.

jack69 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paula said...

That's the reason I don't eat oatmeal.