Monday, October 20, 2014

Kesolowski Takes Talladega 500; Wasserman Schultz Dissed

The Talladega 500 Nascar race had some unusual happenings this weekend with Brad Kesolowski pulling off a last lap win and the elimination of Dale Earhardt Jr, Jimmy Johnson, Kasey Kahne and Kyle Bush.

Coming off some idiot moves last weekend in Charlotte, Keslowski's only chance to move on to the next championship round was to win the race and win he did. Although I'm not a big fan of Brad's aggressive and dangerous moves at the expense of other drivers, his determination to capture the win was admirable.

Suffering some damage to his race car in the early going, Kezolwski came back to pull off a last lap pass and win the race. Oddly enough, Matt Kenseth, who scuffled with Kezolowski last weekend, finished second, followed by Clint Boyer, Landon Cassill with Ryan Newman finishing fifth.

The championship series moves on to the "paper clip", Martinsville Speedway, this weekend and the half-mile oval should really produce some bumping and banging and possibly a little retribution..... 

You might not have noticed, but Reince Priebus got in a real zinger against Debbie Wasserman Schultz today. In a joint appearance on Fox News Sunday, DNC Chair DWS claimed that the key question for voters will be "who has my back?" Shot back RNC Chairman Priebus, "the President hasn't had anybody's back......not even your back."

That was a reference to the Politico story, "Democrats turn on Debbie Wasserman Schultz," reporting on President Obama's disdain for Debbie. Since 2012, the White House has wanted to dump DWS as DNC Chair. She is so shut out of meetings with the president that, according to Politico, "the DNC chairwoman stakes out the President of the United States at the end of photo lines at events and fundraisers."

DNC chair as virtual stalker? Not a pretty picture. And there was Reince to remind her about it. Wasserman Schultz didn't even attempt to refute Priebus's shot, but you can be sure she will not soon forget it.

Debbie Wasserman Shultz as she looks before a makeover

Personally, I can't imagine any political group to be so deaf and dumb as to have put DWS in any power position. Besides her sickening arrogance, she is a habitual liar and will downright deny the truth even when exposed and caught in lie after lie.

I will say one thing in Debbie' favor. She has finally heeded the advice of many and now has a complete makeover whenever she knows she is going to be on national television.....

The Photoshop folks always enjoy working with Debbie

The News As I See It: Obama just appointed someone named Ron Klain as the new "Ebola Czar" to oversee the government’s response to the crisis. You know that’ll be a tough job, but not as tough as introducing yourself as the Ebola Czar and extending your hand.

TSA Chief John Pistole announced that he is stepping down. So whoever takes his place is going to have some pretty big shoes to take off. Well, he actually stepped down a while ago, but he's been going through security for three and a half years.

Whole Foods is introducing a new system that will label its produce "good, better, and best" depending on their supplier's farming practices. Good means "no pesticides," better means "environmentally friendly," and "Best" means "still not worth five bucks for an apple."

Time magazine today released a list of the 25 most influential teenagers. When they heard they made it on the list, every teenager had the same response: "What's a magazine?" You know who is on this most influential teenager list? Kim Kardashian's younger sisters. They've been very influential. They've influenced a lot of people to change the channel.

Amazon announced they're opening a store in Manhattan. In other words, Amazon doesn't understand the point of Amazon.

This Date In History: 1803; The Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase. 1944; Gen. Douglas MacArthur returned to the Philippines, 30 months after he said "I shall return."

1947; The U.S. House Un-American Activities Committee opened meetings about alleged Communist infiltration in the Hollywood film industry.

1964; The 31st president of the United States, Herbert Hoover, died in New York at age 90. 1968; Jacqueline Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.

1973; During the Watergate scandal, Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson and Deputy Attorney General William B. Ruckelshaus resigned and special prosecutor Archibald Cox was dismissed by President Nixon in what came to be known as the "Saturday Night Massacre."

1973; The Sydney Opera House was opened by Queen Elizabeth IIlinois. 2011; Colonel Muammar el-Qaddafi is killed by rebel troops in Surt, Libya, his hometown.

Picture Of The Day: The Martinsville Speedway, often referred to as the "paper clip" This view may help you see where the phrase came from.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If I ever get another cat, I'm going to name him Mandu. 2) Nowadays, about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." 3) As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. 4) Always keep several "get well" cards on your mantel. That way, if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean. 5) Saying it's McDonald's fault because your kids are fat is like saying it's Hooter's fault because your husband likes big tits.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeLibra - October20th: The night may feel like a safe time to parade naked through the local city streets, however, you may find there are some that oppose your freedom. Whenever you feel unhappy today, smile and go to the toilet. This action should soon turns things around for you.

Changing your lifestyle and underwear are always a good start. Serendipity is right around the corner, waiting for you to bump into it. If you pause, say to try and scrape off some dog poop from the bottom of your shoe, you might miss it.

Birthdays: My friends Jay and Mario - Happy Birthday 19XX, Arthur Rimbaud poet 1854, John Dewey philosopher, educator 1859, Charles Ives composer 1874, Bela Lugosi actor 1882, Jelly Roll Morton musician 1890, Arlene Francis actor, TV personality 1907, Art Buchwald humorist 1925, Mickey Mantle baseball player 1931, Elfriede Jelinek novelist and playwright 1946, Tom Petty musician 1950, Viggo Mortensen actor 1958.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Some older women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it." The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer method."

The other girls ask, "What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?" The woman says, "Well, I'm five foot eleven and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket. When his eyes get big as saucers, I kick the bucket out from under him.

A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner and noticed that she had neglected to pack her bras. She asked her husband to go down to the dress shop in the lobby and pick up a couple of 36-C bras. He said, "I'll go right now."

So he put on his ten gallon hat and went to the shop. The saleslady said, "May I help you sir?" When he told her that he wanted two 36-C bras. She asked, "Would you like two Playtex?" He answered, "I'd love to little lady, but my wife's waiting for me up in the room."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he mentioned that things were all done for him. He said, "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go."

His friend asked, "But how do you know when you are going to land?" He said "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground."

His friend said, "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" He quickly answered, "The dog's leash goes slack."

After an examination, the doctor said to the old man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" The old man replied, "In fact, I do. After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I'm usually hot and sweaty."

When the doctor examined his wife a short time later he said, "Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: "Your husband mentioned an unusual problem. He claimed that he was usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you have any idea about why?"

The woman replied, "Yeah, that's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August."

That's it for today, my little muskrats. Remember, if you ever wonder how high you should be before making a parachute jump, I figure three days of steady drinking should do it.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

I like that NASCAR talk. I used to watch that stuff and follow it when I could pronounce the names. I could say: Buddy Baker, Fireball Roberts, Crazy Richard Petty and that wild kid Dale Earnhart. But I really do sorta miss Stock Cars (well even then they were sorta stock cars)
Good line about them ‘GET WELL CARDS’, wish I had a mantle.
Thanks for the entertainment, it is good and the price is right!
The blind jumper was Good. BUT you didn’t have to bring up the January/August Crap! Some things are still embarrassing.