Monday, October 6, 2014

Health And Terror Issues Continue to Rise

My concern with Ebola grows and I think it would be prudent to stop incoming flights from some countries. Some believe that this is unfair. I don't particularly give a rat's ass if it's fair or not. My concern is America and specifically, my family and friends.

Furthermore, you can shove political correctness where the sun doesn't shine. If you're an asshole, then you should be referred to as an asshole.

Speaking of same, Obama seems unable to call Islamic terrorists what they are, unable to say that we're at war with ISIS and his fellow democrat, Nancy Pelosi, refers to illegal aliens as "undocumented people." The only thing left is to refer to looters as "undocumented shoppers".....

The News As I See It: Scientists are suggesting that Pluto should be considered a planet again eight years after it was classified as a dwarf planet. Americans are suggesting that scientists cut the crap about Pluto and figure out how to stop Ebola.

Secret Service Director Julia Pierson resigned and in her closing statement she said, "I'm leaving, not because of the breaches in security, but I don't think I can take the pressure of the upcoming trick-or-treaters." They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.

The Obamas celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary. It was a quiet late-night supper. It was just the Obamas and a couple of White House fence jumpers.

The world's oldest clown, Floyd "Creaky" Creekmore of Montana, passed away at age 98. He leaves a very big pair of shoes to fill. Funeral were worried because if too many of his co-workers show up, it could be a real circus. All of Creaky's co-workers will be attending the funeral in a tiny little car.

This Date In History: 1927; "The Jazz Singer," the first full-length talking picture, starring Al Jolson, debuted. 1949; Japanese-American broadcaster, Iva Toguri D'Aquino (Tokyo Rose), was sentenced to 10 years in prison and fined $10,000 for treason.

1973; The Yom Kippur War began when Syria and Egypt attacked Israel. 1979; President Jimmy Carter received Pope John Paul II, the first pope to visit the White House. 1981; Egypt's President Anwar Sadat was assassinated in Cairo. 1989; Bette Davis died in France at age 81.

Picture Of The Day: Unidentified member of Congress ponders pending Ebola and ISIS issues.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The Huffington Post says all that passive aggressive behavior can harm your relationship. In other news, water is wet and the sun is hot. 2) The word "literally" is going to be eliminated from the English language in 2015. Use it while you can, teenagers. 3) I once stayed in a motel that was so seedy, the Bible in the drawer only had 7 commandments. 4) I'm seriously considering telling the CDC I have Ebola, so they'll clean my house. 5) Lately, I’ve been experiencing economic déjà vu, the feeling that I’ve been in certain stores before and paid much lower prices.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeLibra - October 6th: Good times are in store for you tonight. Remember to gas up your car 'cause I'd hate to see you run out of gas on your way home. Don't pet goats tonight. Romance will be the farthest thing from your mind but the chances are 50-50 if you really want to know. Buy a lottery ticket!

Birthdays: My friends, Nancy, Patricia and Will - Happy Birthday all -19XX, Jenny Lind, soprano 1820, George Westinghouse, inventor 1846, Carole Lombard, actress 1908, Thor Heyerdahl, explorer and anthropologist 1914, Amy Jo Johnson, actor 1970, Rebecca Lobo, basketball player 1973.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship. His new bride asked lovingly, "What is it?"

He said, "I'm a golf fanatic. I think about golf constantly. I'll be out on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get. If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always win."

His new bride pondered this for a moment and said, "I thank you for your honesty. Now in the same spirit of honesty, I should tell you that I've concealed something about my own past that you should know about. The truth is, "I'm a hooker."

Her husband said, "No problem, just widen your stance a little, overlap your grip and that should clear it right up."

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" With a seductive smile the woman purred, "Yes."

Her husband replied. "Thank God! For a moment there, I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on speaking of neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, a long list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their quarter century of marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist stood up, walked around his desk and, asking the wife to stand, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth. The woman shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I play golf on the other days, so she'll have to take the bus."

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related paraphernalia. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Air Force pilot shook his head and in true pilot fashion said. "And to think that all these years I've just been chewing gum."

That's it for today, my little hush puppies. Remember, try to become more reflective in life. Ponder about the "big" questions. What is life, why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Great entry. Enjoyed the post the laughs and the knowledge you impart.
I like the cure for Hooking and I've been chewing gum when I fly also. MMMMMMMM nice to learn new methods 'n All.

Woody said...

I agree on Closing the Borders and stopping flights coming in with possible Ebola carriers. Hope you are doing well and I don't think I need to tell you to behave yourself!!