Monday, February 9, 2015

Overhyped 2015 Grammy Awards

I didn't watch the Grammys, I did see some news coverage. Mostly things I already knew and other things that I don't care seeing people in designer outfits they've never heard of and can't pronounce, lip-synching songs to an overdone production and the class idiot Kanye West.

As a singer-musician, I understand the lip-synching and prerecorded stuff for television. Too many things can go wrong to take a chance. There are many singers and musicians that I admire, but I can always see then on YouTube. So, I'm left listening to boring acceptance speeches.

Sam Smith

Newcomer Sam Smith took home top honors for Record of the Year and Song of the Year ("Stay With Me - Darkchild Version"), Best New Artist and Best Pop Vocal Album ( "In The Lonely Hour").

The Grammy for Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album went to the ageless Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga ("Cheek To Cheek") and Album of the Year went to Beck ("Morning Phase").

From the Grammy reviews, I'm glad I watched reruns of The Big Bang Theory.....

The News As I See It: 51 years ago the Beatles made their first appearance in the Ed Sullivan Theater. Now you get the David Letterman show. If you remember the Beatles, then you should ask your doctor if Cialis is right for you.

The only good thing to know about Charles Manson is he's in prison for the rest of his life. He was going to get married. Well, guess what? The marriage has been called off. Well, what happened? The bride finally Googled him. Manson decided he wasn't ready to get married after talking it over with the voices in his head.

This Date In History: 1861; Jefferson Davis was chosen as the president of the Confederate States of America. 1943; The battle of Guadalcanal ended with an American victory.

1950; Senator Joseph McCarthy claimed he had evidence there were card-carrying members of the Communist Party in the State Department. 1964; The Beatles made their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show.

1991; Lithuanians voted overwhelmingly for independence from the Soviet Union. 2001; A U.S. nuclear sub struck the Ehime Maru, a Japanese fishing boat.

Picture Of The Day: 56 year-old Madonna keeps reinventing herself and looked great.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) With a stolen credit card, who wouldn't go straight to Wendy's to get 2 Double Stacks and a small Sprite? Thanks for asking for ID, lady. 2) My neighbor called my cat fat the other day. It took me two hours to convince my cat that she just had thick fur. 3) Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

4) Men who dislike waking up at the crack of Dawn usually regret drunk dialing Dawn the night before.  5) I accidentally pushed my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now she's sitting in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song......and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeAquarius - February 9th: Only love can break your heart, but trans-fatty acids will take a damn good shot at it. Homelessness is a very poor way to begin the year so try to put aside a little for tomorrow.....tomorrow meaning the future, not the party on Wednesday at Shorty's Bar and Grill.

Birthdays: William Henry Harrison, 9th President of the United States 1773, Amy Lowell, poet 1874, Dean Rusk, secretary of state 1909, Carmen Miranda. actress 1909, J. M. Coetzee, novelist 1940, Carole King. pop singer, songwriter 1942, Joe Pesci, actor 1943, Alice Walker, author 1944, Mia Farrow, actress 1945.

Some of the ladies of the Grammys

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!"

The abbot's forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was 'celebrate'."

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.''

The man said, "I see. Whose clock is that?'' St. Peter said, "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.''

The man said, "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln 's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.''

The man then asked, "Where's Obama 's clock?" St. Peter said, "Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Some women were gathered and the subject of the conversation turned to sex and then birth control. The first woman says, "We're Catholic, so we can't use it." The next woman says, "I am too, but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says, "We use the bucket and saucer method."

The others asked, "What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?" The woman replied, "Well, I'm five foot eleven and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket and when his eyes get big as saucers, I kick the bucket out from under him."

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the right thing to do." The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. The father thought, "This kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the Dad heard her say, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day; you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning, my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

That's it for today, my little mom and popsicles. Remember, the Swiss were never overly concerned about war. They included a corkscrew in their army knife.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

I'm one of them that don't know didly about awards or since all the real rock and roll guys/gals left and they took Hit parade off the TV. I always watched that at my buddies house because Wrestling came on after old Snooky lansing sang.
I did cracka gut over the Golf Pro...
Nite... Always fun here!