Monday, April 27, 2015

Pray For The People Of Nepal

More than 4,000 people are now known to have died in the massive earthquake which hit Nepal on Saturday. More than 6,500 people have been injured, according to the National Emergency Operation Centre. Dozens of people are also reported to have been killed in neighboring China and India.

More than 200 climbers have been rescued around Mount Everest, which was struck by deadly avalanches in the 7.8-magnitude quake. Vast tent cities have sprung up in Nepal's capital, Kathmandu, for those displaced or afraid to return to their homes as strong aftershocks continued.

Thousands spent Sunday night - their second night - outside. Officials have warned that the number of casualties could rise as rescue teams reach remote mountainous areas of western Nepal. Initial reports suggest that many communities, especially those close to mountainsides, suffered significant quake damage.

A spokesman for the aid agency World Vision said, "Villages like this are routinely affected by landslides, and it's not uncommon for entire villages of 200, 300, up to 1,000 people to be completely buried by rock falls."

A man evacuated by helicopter to Pokhara, 200km from Kathmandu, said almost every home in his village of more than 1,000 houses had been destroyed. My prayers and thoughts are with the people of Nepal.

Author's Note: Today's pictures can be seen larger by clicking on them.

The News As I See It: Miami Dolphins lineman A.J.Francis tweeted that he has signed up to be an Uber driver during the offseason. But since he's with the Dolphins he can only drive 15 yards before he has to punt.

It’s being reported that Google spent over $5 million on lobbying just during the first quarter of this year. You’d think Google wouldn't really need to lobby politicians. All they have to say is, "We have your search history. Do what we tell you."

They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. Hillary Clinton said, "I'm available." Hillary is just a regular person, just like you and me. Her assistant puts on Hillary's pants one leg at a time.

This Date In History: 1521; Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed in a fight with natives of the Philippines. 1805; The U.S. Marines captured Derna, on the shores of Tripoli.

1865; The worst steamship disaster in the history of the United States occurred when there was an explosion aboard the Sultana; more than 1,400 people were killed. 1956; Rocky Marciano retired as undefeated world heavyweight boxing champion.

1961; Sierra Leone gained independence from Great Britain. 1983; Pitcher Nolan Ryan surpassed Walter Johnson’s strikeout record—one that had held since 1927.

1987; Austrian president Kurt Waldheim was barred from entering the United States. He was accused of aiding in the execution of thousands of Jews in World War II.

Picture Of The Day: There is death and destruction everywhere

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I probably should've said, "Congratulations on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom". 2) Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster. 3) Ladies, men will never get what you mean by "I’m fine" unless there’s a crack of lightening and scary music. Even that might be too subtle. 4) My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family, so I started dating her sister.  5) All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeTaurus - April 29th: Heavy drinking can lead to a number of social problems, mostly the belief that, after singing karaoke at the local pub, you missed the opportunity to be a rock star.

This, of course, is patently absurd. Your singing ability has been described as "unable to carry a tune in a water bucket".

Fortunately, the heavy drinking syndrome is waived on all holidays and your birthday, so today, just grab a microphone and go for it !

Birthdays: My daughter Jeannette - Happy Birthday Baby 19XX, Mary Wollstonecraft, author and feminist 1759, Samuel F. B. Morse, inventor 1791, Ulysses S. Grant, 18th President of the United States 1822, C. Day Lewis, author 1904, Coretta Scott King, civil-rights leader 1927, August Wilson, playwright 1945.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."

Bill replied, "But doctor, I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?" After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."

Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?" The doctor replied, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

A blind man us being interviewed for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell.

The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies, "That's a good piece of fir." The manager says, "Correct, now try this one." The blind man says, "That's a bad piece of willow." The manager answers, "Correct."

With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. The blind man says, "I'm confused. Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face.

The blind man says, "Oh, you're trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It's the outhouse door off a tuna boat!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga went into town to pick up her dry cleaning. "Goodness, its hotter den hell today", she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed a tavern and thought to herself, "Vy nodt…?"

The bartender walked up to her and said, "And what would you like to drink today?" Helga replied in a timid voice, "Vell, ya know, I don't usually go into da bars but today I vill make an exception. It iss zo hot, I tink I vill have myself a beer."

The bartender smiled at Helga and asked, "Anheuser Busch?" Helga blushed and said, "Vell, it's fine, tanks and how's yur veiner?"

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons to be learned here: 1) Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2) Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.

That's it for today, my little chick peas. Remember, if those people who were ever mean to you were laid out end to end, you could drive your car right over them. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

You are so right about the earthquake. What a disaster.
Good read, the pictures are definitely descriptive, that is for sure. Enjoyed the read though.
Take care at Area 51!