Monday, April 6, 2015
Don't Jump To Conclusions
People react to unproven actions and after remarks like "But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy" and "If you want your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance", you'd think they would learn.
The city of Ferguson, Missouri, after riots, looting and fires, is now a complete disaster after the now disproven, "Hands up! Don't Shoot" stories were revealed to be false.
Rolling Stone is the latest to retract and issued an apology for, a November 2014 article that detailed allegations about a gang rape at the University of Virginia. You'd think people would learn, wouldn't you.....
One of the great things about the day after Easter is that Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs go on sale. Second only to Ghiradelli dark chocolate, I stock up on sale day.
I was surprised that Fox's Chris Wallace would make a remark about singer Kelly Clarkson's weight problem. It was really uncalled for and none of his business. He has since apologized but it's hard to stop a bullet once it's fired. Nevertheless, the media has responded negatively.
While it's always impolite to bring up another person's personal problems, in actuality, the remark was not quite as bad as the media has made it
While a guest on the "The Mike Gallagher Show", the two men were talking about fat-shaming and soon enough the host brought up Clarkson's name. Gallagher said, "Have you seen Kelly Clarkson? You know the singer, Kelly Clarkson? Holy cow, did she blow up."
Wallace looked as if he was defending the artist by replying, "Really? Do we want to talk about some of your friends? Kelly Clarkson's got a lovely voice." But, unfortunately he added, "She could stay off the deep dish pizza for a little while." Inappropriate and Wallace should have known better.
The News As I See It: After months of negotiations, Iran has finally agreed to reduce its nuclear weapons program. Which was great until Putin showed up and said, “Hi, I’m here about Craigslist ad for nukes." Iran said it will give up trying to make a nuclear weapon. But it got awkward when Iran said, "But just for Lent. We’ll start again on Monday."
Kids in Washington, D.C. had the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.
It's nearing that time of year to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids!... I meant my kids.
According to a new survey, almost half of the voters in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania say that they do not trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans immediately got together and said, "OK, this is a huge opportunity for us. How are we going to screw it up?"
This Date In History: 1830; Joseph Smith and five others organized the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Fayette, New York. 1862; The Battle of Shiloh in the American Civil War began. 1896; First modern Olympic Games opened in Athens, Greece.
1909; Robert Peary and Matthew Henson became the first to reach the North Pole. 1917; U.S. declared war on Germany and entered World War I. 1994; The presidents of Rwanda and Burundi were killed in a plane crash.
Picture Of The Day: Lonely.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Even if I’m mad at my girlfriend, I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not. 2) I got in touch with my inner child today and the little shit hung up on me. 3) At my high school reunion everyone kept asking where my date was, so I finally told them the dingo ate her. 4) If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. 5) And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then, he made the earth round and laughed and laughed.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Aries - April 6th: Don't trust any one who says, "A little birdie told me." Besides the fact that little birdies can't speak, they're renown liars. If for some unknown reason, someone was able to communicate with little birdies, chances are they escaped from a farm.
Birthdays: Raphael Santi, major Italian Renaissance painter 1483, James Mill, philosopher, economist, and historian 1773, Anthony Fokker, aircraft manufacturer 1890, Andre Previn, conductor, composer, and pianist 1929.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000.
The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. The undertaker asked him, "Why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150?"
The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here and three days later, he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!"
Hillary Clinton is out walking and she passes a young boy selling puppies. The boy asks, "Would you like to buy a puppy Ma'am?" Hillary says, "No, sorry, but we have a cat already." The enterprising lad says, "But they are Democrat puppies, Ma'am." Clinton smiles, but again declines.
The boy nods and Clinton walks on. The next day, Hillary is walking by the same spot. There again is the boy still trying to sell the puppies. As Clinton walks by she overhears the youth telling the potential customer, "But sir, these are Republican puppies."
Hillary stops and says, "Young man, yesterday you told me those were Democrat puppies and today you are saying they are Republican puppies" The child replies, "Yes Ma'am." Hillary then asks, "Well, if they were Democrat puppies yesterday, how could they be Republican puppies today?" The young man replied, "Well Ma'am, since then, they've opened their eyes."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $1,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather confronts Guido about the missing million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "Okay! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Little Johnny brings his grandfather into class one day to tell the children some of his WWII air force stories. His grandfather said, "The situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. One day, we were deep over enemy territory. I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these Fokkers appeared." (Several of the children giggle.)
His grandfather continued, "I looked up, and right above me was a Fokker. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another Fokker behind me." (Now, the girls in the auditorium are giggling louder and the boys are starting to laugh).
The teacher stands up and says, "Sir, I think I should point out to the children that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company that manufactured the fighter." Johnny's grandfather replied, "That's true, but these Fokkers were flying Messerschmidt's."
That's it for today, my little candy kisses. Remember, teach a child to be polite and courteous and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
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More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !