Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Same Game - Different Generation
Brother Kirt posted an interesting observation about expressions and it rang a bell. Have you ever been in the company of younger people and said something like, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle", "Groovy" or "That's the Cat's meow".
Few people today remember what "Carters Little Liver pills" or the "Passion Pits" were. Expressions like "cutting a rug", "juke joint" and "necking and petting" are just phrases that make the younger generation stare at you in bewilderment.
These traditional expressions wane over the years and back in the day, we stared at our parents with the same bewilderment. Moreover, as the new generation propagate, they too will see that same look on their children's face when the time comes.
Heavens to Betsy! Back in the day we were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley. But KIilroy and Elvis have left the building and new expressions will reign....for a while.
On A Sad Note: Baseball great and Hall of Famer Yogi Berra passed away last night from natural cuses. He was 90 years old. Rest in peace Yogi.
The News As I See It: Pope Francis arrived in Washington, D.C., today. Obama actually picked him up at the airport. When asked how the Pope will get back to the airport, Obama was like, "Uber? I don't know. It's not my problem." Yep, Obama picked up Pope Francis at the airport. Because what better way to alleviate the traffic the Pope is about to cause than sending out a presidential motorcade?
The trip to Washington, has actually been very educational for the Pope. You know, because he's only ever read about purgatory.
Top congressional leaders sent a statement to the House and Senate with guidelines for Pope Francis' visit, including a request to not shake his hand. Apparently, they're worried that if politicians touch the Pope they'll burst into flames. In addition to the “no shaking hands,” Congress was given a lot of rules about the Pope's visit. First, there’s "Don't fake-sneeze just to get an easy blessing out of the Pope."
In San Diego, a 100-year-old man set five world records at a track meet. He set a record in the 50-meter dash, the 800-meter run and the 100-meter wander off.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has dropped out of the presidential race. He said he felt he was sent a message telling him to try and reduce the Republicam field. The message was from his finacial backers who told him, "We're out of money!" In related news, a tree fell in a forest.
This Date In History: 1779; John Paul Jones declared, "I have not yet begun to fight!" aboard the American warship Bonhomme Richard in the battle against the British man-of-war Serapis.
1806; After a three-year journey to the Pacific Northwest, the Lewis and Clark expedition returned to St. Louis. 1846; German astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet Neptune.
1939; Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, died in London. 1952; Vice presidential candidate Richard Nixon delivered his "Checkers speech" rebutting charges of improper campaign financing.
1973; Former Argentine president Juan Perón returned to power. 2011; Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas officially requests a bid for statehood at the UN Security Council.
Picture Of The Day: Pope Francis is America.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I wonder what kind of paperwork would I need to fill out to get a permit to set my neighbor's children free in the wild? 2) The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to my face tells me I probably wouldn't be of much use in bar fight. 3) Don't you just love it when you find out that your Ex got fat? 4) As my car spun uncontrollably through a crowd of people, my Korean friend screamed, "Hit the Blakes !" I screamed, "I Can't Be That Selective !" 5) When asked to help the kids as to my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance I said, "Maybe she went Black" and now I don't have to help the with homework any more.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Virgo - September 23rd: Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining. Oil in your lamp may keep you burning till the break of day or it could spill over and set fire to your new shoes. The odds are on your side today, so don't be afraid to experiment.
Birthdays: Euripides, Greek tragic dramatist, ranking with Aeschylus and Sophocles. 480 or 485 B.C., Augustus, Roman emperor 63 B.C. William Holmes McGuffey, educator 1800, Mary Eliza Church Terrell, activist 1863, Walter Lippmann, essayist and editor 1889, Harriet Hardy, physician 1906, Mickey Rooney, actor 1920, John Coltrane, jazz musician 1926, Ray Charles, singer, musician 1930, Bruce Springsteen, singer 1949.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave the officer her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he knows you!"
A young man is vacationing alone in Hawaii. He hits the beach, hoping to meet some young ladies. Much to his surprise, they all seem to be drawn to an old guy a little further down the shoreline. The young man goes back to the hotel, hoping for better luck that night in a night-club.
At the club, he sees the same old man, surrounded by beautiful women. He pulls the old guy aside, and asks, " Man, what's your secret?" The old man replies, "I saw you on the beach today and I felt sorry for you. So I'll give you a tip. Try putting a pair of socks down your trunks."
The young man is thankful for the advice and can't wait for the next day to try his luck again.
The next morning he goes out to the beach again, with a clean pair of socks neatly tucked into his trunks. But the girls only smile at him and move on. He then sees the old man again, completely surrounded by beautiful women.
That night, he finds the old man again and asks for more help. The wise old man responds with another fine tip, "Next time son, put the socks in the front of your trunks."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?' The first man replied, "A thought. It just pops into your head. There's no warning." The interviewer responded, "That's very good!"
The interviewer asked the second man, "And, now you sir?" The second man said, "A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." The interviewer said, "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. He said, "It's hard to beat the speed of light."
Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Bubba replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is diarrhea." The interviewer was stunned by the response.
Bubba went on, "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink or turn on the light, I shit my pants."
Bubba is now the new greeter at the local Wal-Mart!
A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. The clerk says, "Congratulations!" Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" The cowboy says, "Naw, thanks, I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."
That's it for today, my little chicklets. Remember, serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the farmer's daughter. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !