Monday, November 16, 2015

To Arms !

Paris residents and tourists were attacked Friday night by barbarian ISIS terrorists that left at least 128 dead and hundreds more wounded. Sunday night, French jets bombed ISIS targets the Syrian city of Raqqa.

The French Ministry of Defense said it targeted a command post and a terrorist training camp, dropping 20 bombs on ISIS’s de facto capital in Raqqa, Syria. The first target included a command post, jihadist recruiting center and a weapons warehouse.

Meanwhile, Obama, who announced the day before the Paris massacre that ISIS was being contained, spoke from the G-20 Summit in Turkey, where he rejected the idea that a large-scale deployment of American troops in Syria is the answer after the Paris terror attacks.

At one point, Obama called Friday's attacks a "setback" but touted the current strategy that is in place to combat ISIS in Syria. I wonder if Obama would have referred to the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor a "setback". 

The News As I See It: Last Saturday night was the second Democratic debate It was the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you're single and you have no money and it's raining and every movie theater is closed and you only get one channel.

The debate featured just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley. Or as viewers call them, "The Liar, The Socialist and The Bathroom Break.”

A pub in England that has 15 cats that just walk around, so you can play with them while you drink beer. Customers said it's really fun and cozy and the bar's owner has been dead upstairs for months.

This Date In History: 1864; General Sherman and his troops began their "March to the sea" during the Civil War. 1907; Oklahoma became the 46th state. 1933; The United States and the Soviet Union established diplomatic relations.

1973; President Nixon signed the bill authorizing the construction of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. 2004; President George W. Bush nominated Condoleezza Rice to replace Colin Powell as secretary of state.

Picture Of The Day: Pray for the people of Paris.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend told me she had an epiphany last night. I told her, "I know and that wasn't even my 'A' game." 2) Adulthood is like a dog going to the Vet. We're like all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going. 3) I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was the florist. 4) When I read about Adam and Eve eating the apple, I remember thinking, "Well, that's not really a sin, but at least it's original." 5) I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought, "These Taser guns are well worth the money.".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 16th: Love can truly change your life for the better. However, the chances of this happening to you anytime before lunch tomorrow are remote, so go home and eat ice-cream until your brain freezes.

Birthdays: W. C. Handy, songwriter 1873, George S. Kaufman, dramatist and journalist 1889, Burgess Meredith, actor 1907, Jose Saramago, novelist 1922, Chinua Achebe, writer 1930, Elizabeth Drew, journalist 1935, Robert Nozick, political philosopher 1938, Maggie Gyllenhaal, actor 1977.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and wife are in bed and the wife says, "Honey, if I die would you get married again? Her husband replied, "No dear." His wife said, "I'm sure you would." The annoyed husband said, "Okay, I would."

The wife asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" Her husband answered, "Yeah, I guess so." The wife asked, "Would you let her wear my clothes?" Her husband replied, "No, she's taller than you."

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side."

He continued, "When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what, Martha?" She smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth, "What dear?" He replied, "I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: It's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, an African, an Aussie, two Kiwis, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Spaniard, an Italian, a Swede, an Israeli, a Pole, three Mexicans, a Muslim, five Swiss, a Buddhist, a Greek and a Norwegian went into a bar.

The bartender said to the group, "Sorry, but I can't let you in without a Thai."

An older man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 'Ninety-nine'."

The man obeys and says,"99." The doctor says, "Great." Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'." Again, the guy says, "99."

The doctor says, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'."

The old guy says, "One...Two...Three..."

That's it for today, my little tadpoles. Remember, it's impossible to have just an "ok" time on a trampoline. It's either the most fun you've ever had or you go to the hospital.

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More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

I enjoyed the read. I like the intro and especially the line about Pearl being a 'setback'.
Oh BTW, YOu an't got a snowball's chance at the presidency after Trump reads a few of your entries. You ain't politically correct!

OOh, the Thai line was GOOD!