Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Veterans Should Be Our First Priority

There is absolutely no reason why the United States should accept refugees from any country before she takes care of America's Veterans and completely reforms the mismanaged and corrupt VA Administration.

There are too many men and women who served their country who are not receiving the care they deserve. The government has done nothing of merit to correct this situation, yet they can find money and benefits for illegal aliens and refugees from questionable countries.

Today we thank and salute the men and women of the armed forces, both past and present, for their service and pray for the soldiers who never made it home.

The News As I See It: Obama now has a personal Facebook page where he says he wants to have real conversations about issues. He’s obviously new to Facebook. Everyone lies just like he does.

A county in Colorado voted to put taxes from selling marijuana toward supporting college scholarships. You can tell it's a weed scholarship, because it pays for 11 years of college.

I'm getting bored with the democrat and republican debates. I'd like to see them have a drunk debate. Everyone gets loaded and we find out what they really think about things.

This Date In History: 1620; The Mayflower Compact was signed by Pilgrims aboard the Mayflower. It would provide the basis for all governments of the American colonies. 1889; Washington became the 42nd state.

1918; The Allies and Germany signed an armistice ending World War I. 1921; The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated in Arlington National Cemetery. 1965; Rhodesia proclaimed its independence from Britain.

1992; The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 2004; Yasir Arafat, chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, died in Paris. Mahmoud Abbas was elected to take his place.

Picture Of The Day: There are the wounded and there are those who died. Remember them.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I no longer wear a turtleneck when I go to AREA 51 to party. I find it's too difficult to get up off of my back if I fall over. 2) The next time someone on a plane reclines their seat into your legs, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, "Keep going." 3) Give me strength to change the things I can, grace to accept the things I cannot and a great big bag of money. 4) When my girlfriend wants my opinion, she'll give it to me. 5) The next time a bill collector calls, just give the phone to your toddler and tell her it's Barney.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 11th: Romance is in the air today, just over the north of France. If you don't happen to be near the north of France, then chances are you're going to strike out again this week. However, wind directions can vary as much as the accuracy of these horoscopes, so don't panic yet! Your efforts today will likely be rewarded.

Birthdays: Maude Adams, actress 1872, George Patton, general 1885, Howard Fast, author 1914, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., science fiction writer 1922, Carlos Fuentes, writer, editor and diplomat 1928, LaVern Baker, singer 1929, Calista Flockhart, actress 1964, Leonardo DiCaprio, actor 1974.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Mother superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

An elderly nun at the back of the room says, "Thank God, I'm so tired of Chardonnay."

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world." Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy, "It's official, I am the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says, "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally settled on a parrot that was perched in the back of the store for $50. She asked the shopkeeper why the parrot was so cheap.

The shopkeeper said, "Well, to be honest, the bird's last owner was a madam at a whorehouse. He occasionally makes off color remarks that may offend some people."

Thinking that the price was right and she could handle anything he might say, she took him. When she got home she set the bird down on the table. He looked around and said, "New house, new madam." The woman thought, "That's not so bad."

A little while later, her daughters got home from school and the parrot spoke again, "New house, new madam, new whores." Even though she felt a little insulted, she thought that wasn't so bad either.

Later that evening, her husband Robert came home. The parrot said, "Hi Bobby!"

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink! The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

That's it for today, my little urchins. Remember, the best advice you can give to parents of young children is to show them before and after pictures of Lindsay Lohan and say, "this girl didn't think she needed a nap either." I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Good post. I liked the Bill collector, toddler and BArney thing. If I could see all the keys I could type betters. Shingles have closed one eye, but I think I am getting better. /sherry put a collar on me ant took me out for a walk.... I am crawling good.

Thanks for the laughs.
From the home of Disney! I mean Mickey

Heli gunner Tom said...

I certainly agree with you about the Veterans! I have to move mountains at the local VA to get anything done. They are usually too lazy and don't really give a hoot. Sorry... just the truth. --- --
Disabled Vietnam Vet: 68-70.