Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Dumb and Dumber

U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch said that love and compassion are the best responses to terrorism during remarks to the media in Orlando, Florida on Tuesday. Say what? Seems like the apple doesn't fall far from the Obama tree.

The best response to Islamic terrorism is total war, a term terrorists declared years ago and is their goal - the eradication of anyone who does not subscribe to Sharia Law.

Obama has obviously looked after the nation of Islam refusing to even declare who the terrorist are. Loretta Lynch seems to have been spoon fed and accepted this mantra.

Love and compassion for these animals left my lexicon when the Twin Towers were taken down in 2001.

The News As I See It: It’s their first NBA title and the first championship for Cleveland in 52 years. And now a lot of sports writers are saying that Cleveland will no longer be synonymous with losing. Then the Cleveland Browns said, "No, we’re still here."

Even though Bernie Sanders has no chance of winning the nomination, taxpayers are still paying for him to have Secret Service. It’s not that expensive though, it’s just one guy that goes out late at night to buy Fig Newtons.

Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a son last weekend. Unfortunately, due to his young age, he’s a Sanders supporter.

This Date In History: 1815; Napoleon abdicated his throne for the second time after his defeat at Waterloo. 1870; The U.S. Justice Department was created. 1874; Dr. Andrew Still became the first to practice osteopathy.

1943; W.E.B. DuBois became the first black member of the National Institute of Letters. 1944; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the G.I. Bill of Rights.

1969; Singer-actress Judy Garland died. 1987; Actor-dancer-singer Fred Astaire died. 2011; Legendary Boston crime boss, James "Whitey" Bulger is found and arrested by federal authorities in Santa Monica, California.

Picture Of The Day: The same thing - another sheep dipped in Obama theory. 

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) They’re considering a new 10-cent fee on grocery bags in New York. Who's laughing at the eight-thousand bags under my sink now? 2) It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big." 3) Perhaps I should have said, "Congratulations on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom". 4) There's a new website that helps you write elaborate works of personalized fiction. It's called  5) The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - June 22nd: Warning: The life you lead contains strong language, adult situations and nudity. Discretion is advised. Feeding stray cats may seem important to you today in order to get a feeling of satisfaction.

Birthdays: Julian Sorell Huxley, biologist, author 1887, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, author 1906, Joseph Papp,  stage producer, director 1921, Bill Blass, fashion designer 1922, Dianne Feinstein, senator 1933, Kris Kristofferson, composer 1936, Meryl Streep, actress 1949.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. The clerk says. "Congratulations!"

Looking at the cowboy, the clerk asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" The cowboy replies, "Naw, thanks. I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."

A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings. She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens.

Speaking in a cheery voice, she says,"Hi, I'm so glad you called. Really? That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up, and the man asks, "Who was that?" She replies, "That was my husband, telling me about the great time he's having on his golf trip with you."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man is waiting in line at the bus station. He finally makes his way to the attendant and notices she is well endowed and certainly showing it.

He avoids looking at her breasts and promptly states "I'd like a picket to Titsburgh." Realizing his mistake he grows red with embarrassment. After purchasing a ticket to Pittsburgh he sits and waits for his bus.

Shortly after sitting down a man walks up to him and says "Don't worry about that, it's called a 'Freudian Slip' and it happens all the time. Like the other day I was sitting with my wife at dinner and I meant to say 'pass me the salt please' but I accidentally said 'you've ruined my life you horrible bitch."

A woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and daddy came into the room with the lady next door. Then, they got undressed and got into your bed and then daddy got on top of her....."

Sonny's mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."

The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm leaving you. I'm packing now and I'm leaving you." The startled father said, But, why?" The wife said, "Go ahead, Sonny. Tell daddy just what you told me."

Sonny said, "Well. I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy came upstairs with the lady next door. Then, they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when daddy was away last summer."

That's it for today, my little jellybeans. Remember, men never get what women mean by "I’m fine" unless there’s a crack of lightening and scary music. Even that might be too subtle. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Yeah, a little tender love and concern and all will be well with these misdirected men/women some folk call terrorists. WHAT! And I thought dumb could get no dumber. Good title.
That sucks!