Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Do A Little Dance, Make A Little Love - Pay Child Support
I enjoy the night life, but I always have to talk myself into getting dressed. Once I shower, I'm good to go. Most people are unaware that it only takes one drink to get me drunk. I just never remember if it's the fourth one or the fifth.
My drinking friends are always a hoot to be with and to be quite frank, we spend more time joking and laughing than paying attention to the venue.
But that's how dancing and karaoke was born. After a drink or two, everyone remembers how to dance and naturally, everyone can sing. The best part is that ability is thrown out of the equation as the night progresses.
There are quite a few talented singers in my group and some pretty good dancers, as well. Although I enjoy the singing and dancing, I must admit I'm much more taken by the beautiful women in our group. But, that's just me.....
The News As I See It: Memorial Day weekend was the unofficial start of summer and the official start of people thinking they look good in shorts.
The company that makes products for Apple and Samsung in Asia has reportedly replaced 60,000 factory workers with robots. Just to keep it authentic, they're all child robots.
The National Spelling Bee was last week on ESPN. I watched it and ESPN was the only word all night I knew how to spell.
This Date In History: 1792; Kentucky became the 15th state in the United States. 1796; Tennessee became the 16th state in the United States. 1938; The first issue of Action Comics, featuring Superman, was published.
1958; General Charles De Gaulle became the premier of France. 1968; Helen Keller, blind and deaf author-lecturer, died. 1980; Cable News Network (CNN) debuted. 2001; Crown Prince Dipendra of Nepal wiped out most of the royal family before shooting himself.
Picture Of The Day: A toast to my favorite martini ~ Besito
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I went to Match dot com. It wasn't to meet women. I went to search for a mate for one of my socks. 2) I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost mom in a corn maze. 3) When your girlfriend asks you if you think it's possible to love someone forever, apparently "If I find the right person" is the wrong answer. 4) "Latte" is Latin for "You paid too much for that coffee." 5) Don't make fun of old people. Making fun of some one's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train when you're standing a little further down the same tracks.....and that's five!
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 1st: Remember that water dissolves alien beasts and some witches. This information may or may not affect your balance when handing a glass of water to your mother-in-law.
Birthdays: Brigham Young, religious leader 1801, Francis Edgar Stanley, inventor, manufacturer 1849, William Sloane Coffin, Jr., social activist 1924, Marilyn Monroe, actress 1926, Morgan Freeman, actor 1937.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it. Like the old saying goes, a man with three fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic chair. You think I made that up, don't you? I work my fingers to the bone looking for old sayings and reading the stars and this is the thanks I get? That's it! No soup for you!!!!
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A couple of California boys went on vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car to sight see. One of the sights was a bridge that was more than 1,000 feet above the river.
Walking out onto the bridge, they noticed it swaying in the wind. One of them said, "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge." The other one said, "What are you worried about? It's a rental."
A young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y’all see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number."
Two old ladies were visiting an art gallery where they happened upon the unveiling ceremony for a new sculpture. Being older ladies, by the time the ceremony was due, they had managed to get to the front.
After all the speeches, the cover was duly whipped off to reveal a life sized Adonis on a four-foot plinth sporting a 10-inch erection. Both old ladies shot to their feet with a gasp.
The first one threw her hands in the air and had a stroke. The second one was a bit shorter and couldn’t reach.
That's it for today, my little roller skates. Remember my father's words, who once told me: "Son, you should never lie. One lie begets another lie, then another lie and before you know it, you're either a lawyer or a politician. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More on Friday.
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