Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Why Is The Orlando Assassin's Father In Hillary's Rally?

Audience members in political rallies are not there by chance. They are carefully selected by the rally organizers for political reasons. That said, why is the father of Orlando killer Omar Mateen seated behind Hillary Clinton?

Seddique Mateen, the father of ISIS-inspired Orlando nightclub gunman Omar Mateen, appeared in the background of a Hillary Clinton rally in Orlando, Florida, just steps away from the Democratic nominee, cheering her on and waving an American flag, even as she paid tribute to the victims of his son’s terror rampage and condemned his "hatred."

Mateen’s presence was first noticed by WPTV in Florida. The affiliate later interviewed Mateen, who held up a large, yellow pro-Clinton banner calling her "good for national security" and "gun control laws."

Mateen claimed he had been "invited" to the Florida rally just outside of Orlando. He also suggested the invitation may have come in the form of a mass email. The Clinton campaign said Tuesday they were not aware of his presence. Right.....

The News As I See It: In a new poll, when asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in Washington, D.C., said, "Not again."

This Date In History: 1821 Missouri became the 24th state in the United States. 1846 The Smithsonian Institution was established in Washington, D.C., from funds left by British scientist James Smithson. 1921 Franklin D. Roosevelt was stricken with polio at his summer home on Campobello island. 1944 U.S. forces seized Guam from Japan. 1948 Candid Camera with Allen Funt debuted on television. 1988 President Reagan signed a bill that awarded $20,000 to each survivor of the Japanese-American internment. 1993 Ruth Bader Ginsburg was sworn in as the second female U.S. Supreme Court justice.

Picture Of The Day: Apparently, everyone wants to vote for Hillary...

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated which is kinda funny 'cause so does my Uncle. 2) If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be murder, suicide or merely making an obscene clone fall? 3) The difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale is that a northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." 4) An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."  5) Sometimes, when I am reading a good book, I stop to call and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number .....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - August 10th: There is no reason to be worried about tomorrow. A film you will see today will set you straight about a number of things and will also serve to kill between one and a half and two and a half hours of the day. Probably. Sorry, it's a slow day for you, there's nothing much I can say that will make it any more interesting.

Birthdays: Herbert Hoover, 31st President of the United States 1874 Norma Shearer, actress 1900 Jorge Amado, author 1912 Rosanna Arquette, actress 1959 Antonio Banderas, actor 1960

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and woman were in divorce court awaiting the judge's ruling on the financial and property settlement. The judge said, "Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $750 a week."

Mr Clark said, "That's very fair, your honor, and every now and then, I'll try to give her a few bucks, myself."

Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to baseball practice. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. He said, "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."

His father replied, "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A police officer in Pennsylvania was interviewing an old man who was a witness to a murder. The cop asked, "Did you see what happened?" The old man said, "No but I heard it and I know who did it"

The cop, a bit dubious, said, "What did you hear?" The old man said, "Clip-clop, clip-clop, Bang!, clip-clop, clip-clop." The cop said, "And from that you know what happened?" The old timer said, "Yep, it was an Amish drive-by."

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second guy says, "Well, she is young, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts and a tight ass. What does your wife look like?"

The first guy says, "Never mind, let's just look for yours."

That's it for today, my little blue birds. Remember, today's humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself or my cats. Anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes: if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

'an obscene clone fall?' bothered me for 15 minutes until I got it. All I got to say is tell that kid to see how much he can say after being married 60 years!
Of course that won't be until next month, she said.
Try to be good Jimmy...................

jack69 said...

PS: someone knew that $hit head was there. It was bait for the Trump guy. (who is the lesser of two evils or the lesser of the worst candidates USA citizens could have chosen. How in ---- could this happen? As they say, 'Only in America'.