Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Have A Happy Thanksgiving !

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and it is a day to spend with family and friends. I am fortunate to have a healthy family and many good friends. For this I give thanks and my sincere wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving to all of my family, friends and readers.

The News As I See It: President Obie is hosted a state dinner for the prime minister of India. The menu included curry, chutney, and other Indian foods. To make everyone else feel welcome, the dessert was Tums, Mylanta, and Imodium AD. Obie spent two hours in private talks with the prime minister of India and explained his willingness to work on trade issues. The Indian prime minister explained how to block Internet pop-ups.

Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu (D), who had previously stated that she was not in favor of government run heath care, voted to pass the Healthcare Cloture for debate. Page 432 of the health care bill confirmed this in the form of 300 million dollars in special medicaid subsidies for low income families, which was given only to the state of Louisiana and not to any other state. Talk about the Louisiana Purchase, we now know the price Senator Landrieu charged Harry Reid for prostitution. I wonder how much her ass will cost for the final vote.

White House and Senate Democrats are working on a new jobs bill. The White House says this new jobs bill could create twice as many non-existent fake new jobs as the last one.

Jimmy's Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe: Here is a turkey recipe that also includes a small amount of popcorn in the stuffing. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when the turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

Roasted Stuffed Turkey
1 6-8 lb baking turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher low fat)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper and roast for four hours, basting frequently. Remove turkey, fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn and place back in oven with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open, it's done.

This Date In History: 1758; The British captured Fort Duquesne (Pittsburgh) in the French and Indian Wars. 1783; The British evacuated New York City, their last military position, after the Revolutionary War. 1841; The slaves who seized the Amistad in 1839 were freed by the Supreme Court. They had been defended by former president John Quincy Adams.

1947; Movie executives blacklisted the "Hollywood Ten." 1986; Iran-Contra scandal broke. 1998; Jiang Zemin became the first Chinese head of state to visit Japan since World War II. 1999; Elian Gonzalez was rescued off the coast of Florida. 2002; President George W. Bush signed into law the Department of Homeland Security and named Tom Ridge as head.

Picture Of The Day: You might think that finding Thanksgiving Day pictures would be relatively east around this time of year, but I really had to do some searching to find today's pictures. I hope you enjoy them.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Now’s the time to call all your family and apologize to them in advance for all the things you’re going to say to them when you get drunk. 2) Fiddlesticks is a word used to describe what happens when your fiddle gets stuck. 3) Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 4) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 5) Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Andrew Carnegie industrialist and philanthropist 1835, Carry Moore Nation temperance advocate 1846, Pope John XXIII religious leader 1881, Joseph DiMaggio 1914, American Baseball Player Ricardo Montalban actor 1920, John Larroquette actor 1947, John F. Kennedy, Jr. publisher, lawyer 1960, Amy Grant pop musician 1960.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave the officer her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" And the old man yells, "He said he knows you!"

There were two old men sitting on a park bench passing the day away talking. One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?" The second old man replied, "I think she is dead!" The first old man said, "What do you mean you think she's dead?" The second old man says, "Well, the sex is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."

(Now that's funny, I don't care what you say!)

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A father in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, "I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorce. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more. I am telling you first because you are the eldest. Please tell your sister."

When the son called his sister, she says, "No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving." She phones her parents and tells them both, "You must not get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling my brother, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, please don't take any action." Then, she hangs up.

The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. "Good news! The kids are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way."

A woman named Martha had a parrot called Brutus who loved to talk. The only problem was that Brutus cursed something awful. One day, Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear.

Just before her Mother-in-law was due, Brutus started cursing terribly. So Martha put him in the refrigerator for 2 minutes to literally cool off. She took the turkey out of the oven and put it on the kitchen counter to prepare it for serving. Then, she opened the refrigerator door and took out the parrot.

The incensed parrot was preparing to curse the Martha again for the refrigerator trick when he looked over and saw the turkey on the counter. He immediately became very quiet and said to the Martha, "If I offended you in any way I am truly sorry. I assure you, this type of outburst will never happen again."

Martha said, "And have you learned your lesson about cursing?" Brutus said, "I surely have. I just have one question. What did the turkey do?"

That's it for today my little drumsticks. Remember, laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. I'm going to AREA 51 for Happy Hour and I'm celebrating Thanksgiving with my pals, Hector and Lourdes. Have a great Thanksgiving and more on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

13 comments:

Tabby said...

Hi Jimmy

Hope you and the family have a wonderful day tomorrow! You got me on that turkey recipe....LOL

Senorita said...

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving !

madcobug said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family and friends. The picture of the Pilgrims and the Indians is sort of what my mind pictures the first Thanksgiving to look like. Cute Jokes.
Helen

Linda's World said...

So is "fiddlesticks" in the same catagory as being "out of whack?" Inquiring minds want to know....Have a wonderful T-day and hugs to my very favorite black & white boy cat. Linda in Washington

garnett109 said...

Wishing you and yours a great Turkey Day

Julie said...

Have a great Thanksgiving. Great jokes, Rick is still laughing about the one.

Paula said...

Wishing you a very nice Thanksgiving day Jimmy.

Anne said...

Jimmy. Have I told you lately that I love you? I do, you always put a smile on my face and in my heart. I am truely THANKFUL for that. I hope you are going to have many treats in store for you tomorrow. Anne

Martha (Menagerie) said...

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Jimmy! *Hugs*

ADB said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Jimmy

Sugar said...

sending my wishes, for a beautiful thanksgiving, for you & yours.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Happy Thanksgiving Jimmy :o)

Pamela said...

Hope you had a good holiday!