Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It's The Last Hump Day Before Christmas - Do You Know Where Your Bartender Is?

It's becoming more evident every day that members of the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate are incompetent liars, thieves and whores whose sole purpose seems to be "what's in it for me?" Regardless of if you are "for" or "against" Obamacare, the fact of the matter is that the sole purpose of lawmakers is to vote solely based on party lines. The result is a body divided that has been unable to effect any new laws that would make the lives of Americans better, especially during one of the nation's most difficult economic periods.

Two shining examples of the "whore of the month club" are Senator Ben Nelson (D-Nebraska) and Senator Mary Landrieu (D-Louisiana) whose recent flip-flops on Obamacare are an indication of their morals and dignity.

Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson turned out to be the clinching vote on Obamacare for the Democrats, but his flip-flop came only after his state was exempted from ever having to pay for its share of the expanding costs of Medicaid. And now thanks to this outrageous backroom deal, the federal government will have to foot the bill, which means you, the taxpayer, get to foot the bill.

As for Senator Mary Landrieu, on page 432 of the bill that Senator Harry Reid drafted and sponsored, there is a section increasing federal Medicaid subsidies for "certain states recovering from a major disaster." The section spends two pages defining which "states" would qualify, saying, among other things, that it would be states that “during the preceding 7 fiscal years” have been declared a "major disaster area."

The section applies to exactly one state: Louisiana, the home of moderate Landrieu, who has been playing hard to get on the health care bill. In other words, the bill spends two pages describing would could be written with a single world: Louisiana. (This may also help explain why the bill is long.)

Senator Harry Reid cannot pass it without the support of Louisiana’s Mary Landrieu. How much does it cost? According to the Congressional Budget Office: $300 million. Who pays for this? You, the taxpayer!

Imagine this type of political prostitution in the other 48 states and you get an idea of why America needs a three party system which would help insure that a 2/3 majority vote would effectively pass legislation for the betterment of its citizens. In any case, the 2010 elections are coming and methinks that a lot of states are rethinking the Messiah's message of "hope and change" and some politicians may find themselves in the nation's 10% plus unemployment lines.

The News As I See It: The Senate's healthcare bill is expected to pass on Christmas Eve. The healthcare overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or as Wal-Mart calls them, "employees." Senator Harry Reid (D) said the bill will save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it would have, except for the hundreds of millions of dollars we had to pay to buy the 60 votes.

President Obozo said the federal government can no longer spend taxpayers’ money like it is monopoly money. Especially since monopoly money is now more valuable than the dollar. Even if that's true, how come all those guys on Wall Street got "get out of jail free" cards? Obozo and the first lady say they will not be exchanging gifts this Christmas. Mrs. Obozo says they used to, but she got tired of Barry promising big things and not delivering.

Last weekend, the U.S. transferred twelve Guantanamo detainees to their homelands of Afghanistan, Yemen and Somalia. That’s like dropping Roman Polanski off at a Jonas Brothers concert.

This Date In History: 1783; George Washington resigned as commander-in-chief of the U.S. Army. 1788; Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area for the District of Columbia. 1823; The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" ("'Twas the night before Christmas"), written by either Clement C. Moore or Maj. Henry Livingston, Jr., was published in the Troy Sentinel of New York.

1913; President Woodrow Wilson signed the act creating the Federal Reserve System. 1947; The transistor was unveiled by American physicists John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain, and William Shockley. 1948; Hideki Tojo and six other Japanese war leaders were executed. 1986; Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager completed the first non-stop, around-the-world flight without refueling aboard the experimental airplane Voyager.

Picture Of The Day: Santa Claus is coming to town and today's theme is obviously Christmas. I especially like the details of each picture which, by the way, can be found by searching "Free Christmas Wallpaper" on your browser. The make excellent screen savers and wallpaper.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned as Tiger Woods will soon learn. Reports say that his wife is going after half of his assets which are close to one billion dollars. 2) I wonder if reading in the bathroom is considered multi-tasking? 3) Have you ever wondered how much can you can get away with and still go to heaven? 4) One of my lady friends invited me to a gathering of clairvoyants but when we got there, it was canceled due to unforeseen events. 5) A woman once told me that her philosophy about life was that if it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.....and that's five !

Birthdays: My Brother Kirt - Happy Birthday Bro! 19XX, Joseph Smith, religious leader 1805, Harriet Monroe, editor, critic, and poet 1860, Sarah Breedlove Walker, businesswoman, philanthropist 1867, Robert Bly, writer 1926, Akihito, emperor of Japan 1933, Wesley K. Clark, soldier and political figure 1944, Susan Lucci, actor 1946.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Old Mr. Johnson was invited out for a night with the guys. He promised his wife that he would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down smooth, and before he knew it, it was 2:30 a.m. Drunk as a skunk, he headed for home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, he realized that his wife would probably wake up and he was quite proud of himself when he thought to cuckoo nine more times. Even in his drunken haze, he fell asleep smiling about how he had escaped a possible day of incessant harassment.

The next morning, his wife asked him what time he got in, and he replied, "Twelve." She didn't seem disturbed at all, which made the guy feel even better. She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. He said, "Why is that?" His wife replied, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, said "Oh shit," cuckooed 3 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 6 times and then farted."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you. And will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you! She will bear your children. And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them."She will never have a headache and will freely make mad, passionate love with you whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Later that day, God and Adam were walking in the garden. God told Adam it was time to populate the earth. He told Adam, "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." Adam replied, "God, what is a kiss?" God told Adam and Adam went and took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.

A little while later, Adam came back out with a big smile and said "Wow Lord! That was great!! What's next?" God said, "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." Adam says, "Lord what is a caress?" God explained it to Adam and he again took her behind the bush.

A little while later, he came out and said "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?" God said, "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to take Eve and make love to her." Adam said "Lord, what is to make love?" God explained and Adam took Eve behind the bush and a few seconds later came out and said "Lord, what is a headache?"

That's it for today my little sleigh belles. Remember, it's the last Hump Day before Christmas and I'll probably head over to AREA 51 for some Christmas cheer. Have a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday! More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Rose said...

Happy Birthday to Brother Kirt!

So sick of listening to the Politicians or as you call them "Whores" which describes them better.

Enjoy your bartender tonight is myself. Staying in.

Hugs, Rose

Julie said...

Merry Christmas Jimmy, love the graphics today.

Senorita said...

I am not into political parties and feel that it divides us, rather than unite us as a nation.

Merry Christmas !

Paula said...

The Santa pictures are priceless. I really like the way that elf is devoted to Santa. I think reading in the bathroom is multi-tasking the same as working a crossword puzzle is.

Nancy said...

Well hey there,
Just stopping by, checking the ol' blog and seeing you're just as sick as ever! lol
Some of those jokes were really cute!

Happy Holidays Mr. J!

Your pal,

Pamela said...

Just came by to say hi. Hope you had a wonderful Xmas!

Joann said...

Happy Belated Birthday to Bro. Kirt!! Although, I wished him a Happy Birthday through Sis. Jeanne!! LOL!! LOVE these Christmas pics, too!!!