I was fortunate to join my pals Hector and Lourdes and their families last evening and the dinner was fantastic. We enjoyed drinks at their poolside bar and chatted until the dinner was close to being ready and later, everyone jumped into action to assist in the final preparations. Roasted pork is one of the few foods that I can continue eating even though my stomach protests that there is no more room. It was a pleasant evening and everyone enjoyed the Christmas Eve dinner. I actually got home at a respectable 12:30 am.
My sincere wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays go out to all my family, friends and readers. May your day be healthy and prosperous.
The News As I See It: There is no Nativity Scene in Washington, D.C. this year! This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in D.C. and the search for a virgin also continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable. A new survey in Britain found that seven percent of people plan on taking a sick day from work during the holiday season due to party-related hangovers. Meanwhile, the other 93 percent will just go to work plastered.
President Obama's daughter, Sasha, says that she already bought her dad’s gift. She won’t say what it is but she did say, "It’s something he likes." I wonder how an 8-year-old got her hands on a carton of Marlboro Lights? Former President Bush is writing his memoirs and he says they will focus on 12 major decisions he made in his life. The truth is that 11 of them were made by Dick Cheney.
This Date In History: 1066; William the Conqueror was crowned King of England. 1776; George Washington crossed the Delaware River and surprised the Hessians. 1868; President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that resulted in the Civil War.
1926; Hirohito became emperor of Japan. 1977; British film actor, director, and producer Charlie Chaplin died in Switzerland at age 88. 1989; Former Romanian president Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were executed. 1991; President Mikhail Gorbachev resigned following the disintegration of the Soviet Union.
Picture Of The Day: Since Christmas Day is very much a fantasy for children (and most adults), I though I'd enlist the aid of some of my favorite cartoon pals to assist me with the graphics today. I hope you enjoy them.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells. 2) One of my lady friends wanted me to go Christmas shopping with her yesterday. I really hate crowds of crazy shoppers so I just dropped her off at the mall with a GPS. 3) Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. 4) Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. 5) Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.....and that's five !
Birthdays: Clara Barton, American Red Cross founder 1821, Helena Rubinstein, cosmetics executive 1870, Conrad Hilton, business 1887, Robert L. Ripley, cartoonist 1893, Humphrey Bogart, actor 1899, Cab Calloway, band leader 1907, Anwar al-Sadat, Egyptian political leader and President 1918, Jimmy Buffett, musician 1946, Barbara Mandrell, country musician 1948 Sissy Spacek, actress 1949, Dido, singer 1971. The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Murray Lipschitz went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Mrs. Lipschitz awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Murray picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. His mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. Mrs. Lipschitz said, ''What are we going to do?'' Murray said, ''Nothing, the lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.''
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Everyone was seated around the table as the Christmas Dinner was being served. When little Tommy received his plate, he started eating right away. His mother admonished, "Tommy, wait until we say our prayer," Little Tommy said, "I don't have to."
His mother insisted, "Of course you do, we always say a prayer before eating at our house." Little Tommy said, "That's at our house, but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook." A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?" Her mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and, so all mankind was made." A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. Her father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."
The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?" Her mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."
A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut." The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"
That's it for today my little snow angels. Remember, if you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !