Friday, February 18, 2011

The Daytona 500 - Remembering Dale Earnhardt

Ten years ago today, Dale Earnhardt Sr., lost his life in a wreck on the final lap of the Daytona 500. His shocking death sent a cold shiver to the racing world and subsequently, Nascar began a series of rule changes to protect and enhance the safety of the drivers. Since that fateful day, it is impossible to calculate the number of lives that have been saved due to these important changes.

This weekend, Nascar will be at the Daytona International Speedway. The Camping World truck series race will be run tonight at 7:30 pm (EST) under the lights. On Saturday, at 1:00 pm (EST), the Nationwide series will race and on Sunday, the Daytona 500 will start at 1:00 pm (EST).

This is the biggest race weekend of the entire Nascar season. It is fitting that Dale Earnhardt Jr, won the pole position for Sunday's race. Unfortunately, Dale Jr, will have to start the race at the rear of the field due to a crash during practice. I look forward to the racing weekend and the Daytona 500. I also will take time to remember Dale Earnhardt Sr., the man and the legend, and the final race of his career. Rest in peace, Dale !

The News As I See It: A survey found that 61 percent of people are more afraid of outliving their money than dying. The other 39 percent have already outlived their money and have faked their own death to avoid creditors.

History was made at the Westminster dog show when one of the finalists was a dog from China. The dog listed his proudest accomplishment as not being eaten.

Arkansas Congressman Steve Womack has proposed getting rid of funding for President Obama’s teleprompter. When Obama finds out, he’s going to be speechless.

It’s the 40th anniversary of the War on Drugs. Today, California surrendered. Forty years since the War on Drugs began. This makes Charlie Sheen our most decorated veteran.

Donald Trump may is considering a run for the presidency in 2012. He says he has a plan for reducing the deficit by combing the rest of our money over to hide it.

A man from Ohio is being called “the Amish Bernie Madoff” for swindling Amish families out of millions of dollars. People became suspicious when they saw his horse pulling a Lamborghini.

This Date In History: 1546; Martin Luther, German leader of the Protestant Reformation, died. 1564; Michelangelo Buonarotti, Italian painter, sculptor, and architect, died. 1885; The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain was published. 1930; Pluto, the ninth planet in the solar system, was discovered by American astronomer Clyde Tombaugh.

1953; The first 3-D movie, Bwana Devil, opened in New York. 2001; FBI agent Robert Philip Hanssen was arrested and charged with spying for Russia. 2001; Dale Earnhardt, Sr., died from injuries sustained at the Daytona 500.

Picture Of The Day: Pictures of Dale Earnhardt Sr, Dale Jr and Theresa Earnhardt are today's subject. The crash that killed Dale Sr occured between turns three and four in the final lap of the race. Also included are pictures of Kurt Busch and Jeff Burton, winners of Thursday's Twin 150 qualifying races.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 2) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 3) People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it. 4) Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing. 5) Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.......and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Aquarius - February 18th: Artifacts that appear on your eyeballs are an after-effect of going out bar hopping for 4 nights running. Applying yourself to your work may be the only way you can crush the thoughts that rampage through your ill-mind. When in danger, you have a tendency to run away quickly. Harness that ability today as you'll need it sometime around 4 pm.

Deja vu is not a Thai dish that you had two weeks ago. Serendipity is right around the corner, waiting for you to bump into it. If you pause to try and scrape off some dog poop from the bottom of your shoe, you might miss it. However, if you keep the dog poop on your shoe and meet your serendipitous friend, the smell might be off-putting enough to close the deal. What?

Birthdays: Louis Comfort Tiffany, artist, decorative designer 1848, Sholem Aleichem, author 1859, Charles Michael Schwab, steel magnate 1862, Helen Gurley Brown, editor, author 1922, George Kennedy, actor 1925, John Travolta, actor 1954, Matt Dillon, actor 1964, Molly Ringwald, actress 1968.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. The clerk says, "Congratulations!" Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" The cowboys says, "No thanks, I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."

A preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The cowboy got paid on Friday and rode into town. He then went to the nearest bar and got thoroughly trashed. A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, put his horse's saddle on backwards, and went back to join the cowboy for a few more rounds.

The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowboy's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the damn trail, you've got work to do." Tex mumbled, "I can't, I'm too beat. Too tired. Can't even lift my head." She screamed in his ear. "Get up! I've seen you this hungover a thousand times."

The cowboy said, "Not like this. Last night was different. Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to lead him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"

Michelle Obama was driving home from a business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a word or two of thanks, she got in the car.

After resuming the journey and a bit of small talk, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Michelle. The old woman asked, "What's in the bag?" Michelle looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for a moment, and then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder said, "Good trade."

In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity. Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no indoor plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse.

He was told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather. To help the Sioux, Edison installed lights in the outhouse. With this kind act, he became the first person to wire a head for a reservation!

That's it for today my little gumdrops. Remember, when tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. I'm going to AREA 51 to see of there's any fires to put out....with scotch. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


Frances said...

You sure got that right, Jimmy, you just can't fool these Texas cowboys. I would like to get a bottle of wine for Obama, even if it was cheap wine. And even give change back.

jack69 said...

With this kind act, he became the first person to wire a head for a reservation!

I am sure the sailors go that one!

What was the name of the airlines the cowboy took? On my next flight.......

Thanks for the laughs as usual!!!

Rose said...

I loved the "News as You see It"

Too funny!

Hugs, Rose

Paula said...

Good week-end to you Jimmy.

Julie said...

I loved the wine for Obama joke also. I hear Nascar is dying as attendance is down. First of many things as people cut back.