Dick Tracy's Two Way Wrist Radio-TV

On February 2nd, Rupert Murdoch, in coordination with Apple, released a new publication called "The Daily", a sort of new Internet "newspaper" that requires a paid subscription and is only available on the I-Pad. Since most print newspapers are quickly going the way of the likes of the Pet Rock and the Hoola Hoop, I find the concept interestingly futuristic. But the main thought it brought to mind was the Dick Tracy comic strip that I read every Sunday morning in the part of the newspaper we called the funnies.

In today's day and age of computers, cell phones and video recorders, few remember Dick Tracy, but back in the day, he had the same electronics that are available today. I refer to Dick Tracy's famous two-way wrist radio and the subsequent two way wrist radio-tv.

What we thought was impossible at the time, strip creator and artist Chester Gould found quite plausible in his mind. Dick Tracy made it's debut on October 4, 1931, in the Detroit Mirror. It was distributed by the Chicago Tribune New York News Syndicate. Gould wrote and drew the strip until 1977. The famous two-way wrist radio debuted in 1946 and was then upgraded to the two-way wrist tv in 1964. Who'da thunk it ?

The News As I See It: CNN’s Anderson Cooper was punched in the head in Egypt. He got hit in the head about 10 times, and I think he got kicked in the Mini Cooper too. We have to take Anderson’s word since it was on CNN, so no one saw it. This raises 2 questions. Is it safe to send our media into these places? And how do we get Glenn Beck over there?

It was so cold in Washington, D.C., that they needed jumper cables to get Dick Cheney started. The winter storm has caused the cancellation of over 11,000 flights. Many of the pilots had to sleep at the airport because they were too drunk to drive home.

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak’s son Gamal does not want to be Egypt’s next president. Experts say it’s no big deal, because "if you’ve seen one Mubarak, you’ve seen Gamal." Things are not looking good for Mubarak. Today he canceled his Super Bowl party. That’s a bad sign. I've been watching a lot of the news footage, and it turns out they don't walk like Egyptians after all. They walk regular like us.

The owners of Chick-fil-A restaurants were very anti-gay-marriage, but now it seems that they’ve reversed their stand, In fact, just today they introduced the Chick-on-Chick-fil-A.

This Date In History: 1783; England proclaimed the formal end to the hostilities with the United States. 1787; Shays's Rebellion, an uprising of Massachusetts farmers, was defeated. 1789; George Washington and John Adams are elected the president and vice president of the United States.

1861; Delegates from six southern states met at Montgomery, Ala., to form the Confederate States of America. 1945; Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin met at the Yalta Conference. 1948; Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) gained independence from the United Kingdom.

1969; The Palestine National Congress appointed Yasir Arafat head of the Palestine Liberation Organization. 1974; Patricia Hearst, granddaughter of newspaper mogul William Randolph Hearst, was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army.

1976; Benjamin Britten, British composer, died. 2003; The country of Yugoslavia disappeared, to be replaced by the loose federation of Serbia and Montenegro.

Picture Of The Day: Since the camel jockeys are still going apeshit in Egypt, the photoshop gang got busy with new pictures.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Earn cash in your spare time. Blackmail your friends. 2) Ladies, when you're climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress! 3) Reality shows tell me what my life would be like if it were run by writers not smart enough to make movies. 4) People sweat so that they don't catch fire while they're making love. 5) Did you ever wonder who was the first person to see a hen and thought, "I think I'll eat the next thing the comes out of that chicken's ass"?......and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Aquarius - February 4th: Any beer consumed tonight may come back to haunt you, possibly in the form of a dead comedian. Paris Hilton will "pop round" today for a chat and a biscuit, either in spirit or in person. Incidentally, a small chihuahua will weedle itself into your garden and poop all over your favorite plants. At this point, it is recommended that you setup web cams all over your house so that you can publish all incidents to a website and earn billions of dollars. This horoscope may destruct in 10 seconds.

Birthdays: Tadeusz Kosciusko, general 1746, Fernand Léger, painter 1881, Charles Lindbergh, American aviator 1902, Clyde William Tombaugh, astronomer 1906, Rosa Parks, civil rights activist 1913, Betty Friedan, feminist 1921, George Romero, filmmaker 1939, Dan Quayle, vice president 1947, Oscar De La Hoya, boxer 1973.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A week after their marriage, the Louisiana newlyweds, Tyrone and Wanda, paid a visit to their doctor. Tyrone said, "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc. My thing's turnin blue." The doctor said, "That's pretty unusual. Let me examine you."

The doctor took a look. Sure enough, Tyrone's "thing" really was blue. The doctor turned to Wanda and asked, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" She replied brightly, "Yep, I sho' am!" The doctor said, "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" She replied, "Grape."

Earl and Bubba, two good ole boys from Dixie are quietly sitting in a boat fishing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

Fiona, the Scottish housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did a split and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Angus! Angus!" Angus came running in. She screamed, "Angus, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," Angus tried to pull her up and said, "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get me mate Duncan".

They came back and they both tried to pull her up. Duncan said, "No way, we can't do it. Let's try Plan B." Angus exclaimed, "Plan B? What's that?" Duncan said, "I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her." Angus said, "Good idea! While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples." Duncan said, "Play with her nipples? Not exactly a good time for that mate!" Angus replied, "No, but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper!"

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. "Yes", he replied. The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter said, "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so that's why I said yes to Angelina Jolie."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.....or not !

That's it for today my little tadpoles. Remember, a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. I'm going to AREA 51 for the Karaoke show. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !