Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Times They Are A-Changin'

My former sister-in-law and good friend Phyllis dug one out of the archives from back in the day and I thought I'd share it with you. I'm a bit unsure of the year but then, again, I'm unsure what I had for breakfast. I believe the picture is from the late seventies.

Since you didn't buy a program, the players, from left to right, are my niece Sommer (who's grown and has a child of her own), Sister Jeanne and Mom. Dad, who by right of seniority claims the center of attraction, leaving the background to Brother Kirt and myself.

There were good times and bad times back in the day, but thankfully, mostly good times which I remember with fondness. Time marches on.....

The News As I See It: Vice President Joe O'Biden hung out with a biker gang in Ohio this weekend. I don't know if that's wise. It's not always a good idea to be associating with shady characters. So next time, bikers, think twice.

Mitt Romney released another ad that features Hispanic voters speaking in Spanish. The ad ends with him saying, "I'm Mitt Romney and I have no idea what these people are saying."

Obama visited a pizzeria in Florida. The owner gave the president a bear hug and lifted him off his feet. Everybody shared a good laugh and then the Secret Service shot the man in the face.

The number one movie at the box office again this weekend was "The Possession," which is a Jewish version of "The Exorcist." The climax of the film is when they force the ghost to retire to Boca Raton, Florida.

Kim Kardashian's mom, Kris Jenner, said that Honey Boo Boo's mom is exploiting her daughter. Moments later Kris Jenner was hospitalized for acute irony poisoning.

Jeff Probst, Katie Couric, and Rikki Lake all premiered new talk shows. Oprah Winfrey's show has been off the air a year now. Everyone wants to fill the empty chair left by Oprah except Clint Eastwood. He just wants to yell at the empty chair left by Oprah.

Since Oprah left, everyone's been asking the same question. Whose couch will Tom Cruise jump on when he signs a contract with his next "new wife"?

I'm curious about the show hosted by Jeff Probst. This week's guests are a group of 80-year-old women discussing their sex lives. Isn't that "The View"?

Prince Harry is back in the news. Three weeks after those nude photos appeared of him playing strip billiards at a hotel, he was deployed for a four-month tour of duty in Afghanistan. One crazy night and queen grandma ships you right to Kandahar.

Bill Clinton was unbelievable during the Democratic Convention. According to Democrats, he won the election for Obama, he helped the cowboys beat the Giants and he even had time to go to Hooters afterward.

O.J. Simpson is claiming that Khloe Kardashian is his daughter. He makes the claim in his new book called "The Only Thing I'm Ashamed Of."

This Date In History: 1609; Henry Hudson began his exploration of the Hudson River. 1953; Future President John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Bouvier. 1977; South African black civil rights leader Steven Biko died while in police custody.
1992; Dr. Mae Carol Jemison became the first black woman in space aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour. 1999; Indonesia announced it would allow an international peacekeeping force to restore order to East Timor.

Picture Of The Day: The beautiful and rare Snowy Owl.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I set my DVR to record "The Biggest Loser" and it keeps recording the Miami Dolphins football games. 2) Over one-third of all school children are obese. The other two-thirds are terrified at being trampled to death at recess. 3) I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast. 4) You can tell a blonde is having a bad day when her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil. 5) My first wife was Italian and my second wife was Cuban. My third wife does not exist, but my girlfriend is a beautiful young woman whose face is much younger than theirs and changes from time to time.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Virgo - September 12th: I don't lie to you to make you return to my journal for your daily horoscope. Ok, that's a lie, I think you're all talented, gorgeously beautiful, people. Relax, break out the medicines and pills and get funkin'! Chance of romance is 98.6 percent.....

Birthdays: My sweet pal Nury - Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Richard Jordan Gatling, inventor 1818, Mary Ann Dyer Goodnight, philanthropist 1839, Henry Louis Mencken, editor, author, and critic 1880, Maurice Chevalier, singer and film actor 1888, Ben Shahn, painter 1898, Jesse Owens, track star 1913.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!" The other boys says, "I've been circumcised." The first boy asked, "What's that mean?" The other boy says, "It means they cut the skin off the end."

The first boy says, "How old were you when it was cut off?" The other boy says, "My mom said I was only two days old." The first boy asked, inquiringly, "Did it hurt?" The other by replied, "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex.

He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised. He then asks, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised.

After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex.

The guy said, "Once a year!" To John's dismay, he responds, "Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?" The grinning guy responds, "Tonight's the night....."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A foursome of guys is waiting at the mens' tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Next, she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those f--king lessons I took over the winter didn't help." One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead."

He never even had the chance to duck.....

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that read, "Looking for man that won't beat me up, run away home and is great in bed." She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away." So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?" Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

That's it for today, my little kitty kats. Remember, you can't fight progress, but you can unplug a lot of it. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour. That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Paula said...

The Snowy Owl is so beautiful. Like the family picture too.

Rose said...

Love the picture of your family.