Friday, November 23, 2012
A Fine Thanksgiving Day Dinner
I have a great appreciation for the people who take the time and effort to cook on Thanksgiving and yesterday was no exception as my pal Emilio did a great job in preparing a great Thanksgiving dinner. It really is a lot of hard work and and at the end of the day, most of these household chefs are ready for a well deserved night of rest.
I find that holiday dinners are the only time of the year where the elusive turkey baster and its partner in crime, the cooking brush, move from the back of the kitchen catch-all drawer to a position of prominence in the cooking arena.
It is also the time of year when one realizes that one can't find said turkey baster and brush and has to run out and make a quick purchase. I'd be willing to wager that Thanksgiving and Christmas are the big sales days for that duo.
Nevertheless, next year I'm celebrating Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I'm inviting everyone in my neighborhood to my house, have an enormous feast, then send them to a reservation and take their land. Either that or its Kentucky Fried Chicken for everybody.
The News As I See It: Today is Black Friday, an American tradition where people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
Drew Barrymore reportedly started smoking when she was 5 years old. In the original script for "E.T." she lured E.T. into her home with a pack of Newport menthols.
Some people say the link between smoking and poor health has been exaggerated. These people are called "tobacco executives."
This Date In History: 1889; The first jukebox was installed at the Palais Royal Saloon in San Francisco. 1936; First issue of Life magazine hit the newsstands. The cover photograph, by Margaret Bourke-White, featured the Fort Peck Dam.
1945; United States wartime food rationing, of meat, butter, and other foods, ended. 1971; People's Republic of China was seated at the UN Security Council. 2003; Eduard Shevardnadze resigned as president of Georgia.
Picture Of The Day: This one is just for the colors.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-time takes twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence. 2) I read a very interesting story in the newspaper today. For the younger readers, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper. 3) April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims ( I apologize for that one). 4) How do "Keep Off The Grass" signs get there? 5) Cellpilepsy is defined as the brief seizure people sometimes have when their cell phone goes off (especially in vibrator mode). It is characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - November 23rd: There's no reason not to believe that tonight will be any different than any other Friday night. Then again, there was no reason to believe the Titanic would sink either. If it were me, I'd go out and have a great evening. Just take a life jacket just in case.....
Birthdays: John Wallis, mathematician 1616, Franklin Pierce, 14th President of the United States 1804, William H. Bonney, outlaw, also known as "Billie The Kid" 1859, Manuel de Falla, composer 1876, Boris Karloff, actor 1887, Miley Cyrus, actress 1992.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An airline pilot hammered his plane into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a "Thanks for flying Acme Airlines."
In light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" The pilot said, "Why no Ma'am, what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
A small boy got lost at the shopping mall. He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The guard asked, "What's his name?" The little boy said, "Grandpa."
The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?" The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jack Daniels whiskey and women with big tits."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An attractive older woman is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he responds, "Sure lady."
No sooner than they get out of the store, she leans over and says to the boy, "You know I've got an itchy pussy." The boy responds, "You'll have to point it out, lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me."
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
That's it for today, my little turkey gobblers. Remember, dogs can be a man's best friend or a woman's best friend. They could also be a child's best friend or a cat's best friend. Dogs are totally flexible.
I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. That's it for now. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !