Happy Saint Patrick's Day !

I had the pleasure of going to AREA 51 for dinner and drinks last night with my childhood pal, Victor and his lovely wife Karen. We went to "The Alibi" restaurant which was formerly "Krystel's Restaurant and Lounge." Aside from the pleasure of the company, we went to see a mutual friend who has a jazz band that plays there on Tuesday nights. Unfortunately, they moved the jazz band to Thursday nights and they now have karaoke on Tuesday nights.

Still, they had a decent crowd for a Tuesday and the karaoke singers were enjoyable. We had appetizers of tostones (fried green bananas) topped with baby shrimp in a cream sauce. I had the Mahi Mahi for dinner and Victor and Karen had spinach wraps. It was an excellent evening as we caught up with news about old friends and relived some memorable times in the past.

May St. Patrick guard you wherever you go and guide you in whatever you do and may his loving protection be a blessing to you always.

The News As I See It: The Chicago River was dyed green in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. Also in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, New York’s East River will remain green. Government officials are warning spring breakers about violence from Mexican drug gangs. They say to stay out of L.A. Facebook is going to open its first offices in India. Indian Facebook is a little different. Under "Help," it just says "Seriously? You live in India. You fix it yourself."

President O'Bama (he's Black Irish today), in his weekly radio and Internet address, called for an overhaul of the "No Child Left Behind" law. It will now be called, "The World Needs Janitors Too." Obama also talked about health care reform at a senior center in Strongsville, Ohio. The most common question he got was "When’s bingo?" Obama announced that he will establish two brain trusts to double U.S. exports over the next five years. You know what our leading export is right now? Jobs.

The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson's disease. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson's disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. Screw health care. Let's party !

This Date In History: 1762; The first St. Patrick's Day parade was held in New York City. 1776; British forces evacuated Boston during the Revolutionary War. 1870; Wellesley Female Seminary (later Wellesley College) received its charter from the Massachusetts legislature.

1942; Gen. Douglas MacArthur became supreme commander of Allied forces in the southwest Pacific theater during World War II. 1963; Mount Agung on Bali erupted, killing 1,184 people. 1969; Golda Meir was sworn in as prime minister of Israel. 2003; President Bush delivered an ultimatum to Saddam Hussein: leave Iraq within 48 hours or face an attack.

Picture Of The Day: You wouldn't expect anything less than a Saint Valentine's Day theme, would you? It was tough to choose between a plethora of excellent pictures on the Internet, but I settled on the one's which amused me the most. I hope you enjoy them.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The reason leprechauns laugh when they run is because the grass tickles their balls. 2) Being Irish, I'm going celebrate in my backyard this afternoon and sit down with Paddy O'Furniture. 3) My doctor was puzzled and told me "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Jimmy. I think it must be drinking." I told him, "Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober." 4) My pal, O'Malley told me that that his wife was driving him to drink. He's lucky, my ex-wife made me walk ! 5) The Irish Jig began when Irishmen had too many drinks and not enough restrooms.....and that's five !

May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, May the sunshine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields and, Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Birthdays: Roger Taney, American jurist, fifth Chief Justice of the United States (1836–64) 1711, James Bridger, mountain man 1804, Kate Greenaway, illustrator and watercolorist 1846, Gloria Swanson, actress 1899, Bayard Rustin, civil rights activist 1912, Nat "King" Cole, singer 1919, Rudolf Nureyev, ballet dancer 1938.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, "So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. Me dear wayward husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put that damn gun down.'"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt and my pal Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty. Father O'Rafferty said, "And how is Mrs. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied "Aye, that you did, Father." Father O'Rafferty said, "And be there any little ones yet?" Mrs. O'Donovan said, "No, not yet, Father." Father O'Rafferty said, "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." Mrs. O'Donovan said. "Oh, thank you, Father," and away she went.

Some years later they met again. The Father said, "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan, how are you?" Mrs. O'Donovan said, "Oh, very well." Father O'Rafferty said, "Tell me, have you any little ones yet?" Mrs. O'Donovan "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all." Father O'Rafferty said, "Now isn't that wonderful. And how is your husband?" Mrs. O'Donovan "Oh, he's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle."

It's Saint Patrick's Day and an armed, hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave, Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor. The robber screams, "Did anyone else see my face?!" There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, "I think me wife may have caught a glimpse."

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were discussing different pubs. The Scotsman said,"As good as this is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." The Englishman said, "Well, Angus, at my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

The Irishman said, "Ahhh, that's nothin'. Back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true. The asked the Irishman, "Did this actually happen to you?" The Irishman, "Not meself personally, but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

May you always have walls for the winds, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you and all your heart might desire.

That's it for today my little leprechauns. Remember, As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it is leaning against the right wall. It's St. Paddy's day and time for Happy hour. What better reason to head to AREA 51 and see my friend Erin-go-bragh-less. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !