Friday Birthday Celebration

My birthday on Friday turned out be great all-nighter and I celebrated my birthday with my sweet Nicole, Alex, Kathy, Maylen and Omar. We celebrated Mother's Day with, and in honor of, the girls' Mom, Mercedes. We had dinner at Buca Di Beppo, an fine Italian restaurant in Miami Lakes. The food was great but every one's eyes were bigger that their stomachs and they took home three or four large doggie bags.

After dinner, a few of us went to Lakes Cafe and Sports Bar for more cocktails. My spiritual advisor for the evening was Mr. Dewars White Label, a long time advisor and drinking companion. There was a karaoke show going on when we got there and after hearing two or three of the "singers" we discovered that liquor could not make them sound any better and we decided to leave.

The Billiards Club was our next destination and I always enjoy myself there. Peter, the owner, was kind enough to buy us a round of drinks to honor my birthday. The Billiards Club is AREA 51 certified and the bartenders there are great. The drink prices are reasonable and generously poured. Peter now has Karaoke shows at the club and although I haven't been to one there, I'm looking forward to seeing the next show.

We left The Billiards Club as the closing lights were coming up and went to my house. After another cocktail we listened to some music and sang a few karaoke songs. Finally, around 6:00 a.m., we decided to call it a night. Even Possum S. Hemming way turned in when he saw the morning twilight begin to peak through the windows. All in all, it was a great night and a lot of fun.

On a sad note, songstress Lena Horne, the enchanting jazz singer and actress known for her plaintive, signature song "Stormy Weather", died Sunday at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. Miss Horne was 92.

The News As I See It: Mother’s Day was on Sunday, but it’s also National Cheeseburger Month. That shows you our priorities in this country — moms get one day, cheeseburgers get a whole month.

Although it seems like nothing is getting accomplished in the Gulf, and the situation is getting worse every day, the government has been involved in the clean-up effort since the beginning. They said that, as proof of their involvement, nothing has really been accomplished and the situation is getting worse every day.

This oil spill in the Gulf is affecting everybody. In fact, when I went to lunch this weekend and ordered the sea bass, they asked if I wanted it regular or unleaded.

The crisis in Greece is being blamed on social entitlement programs and over-spending, but the government claims that the spending is necessary to stimulate the economy, according to Greek President Barack Obama-opolous.

This Date In History: 1775; Ethan Allen and his Green Mountain Boys captured Fort Ticonderoga from the British. 1863; Confederate General Stonewall Jackson died after being accidentally shot by his own troops. 1869; The United States’ first transcontinental railroad was completed with a ceremony in Promontory Summit, Utah.

1924; J. Edgar Hoover became director of the FBI. 1940; Winston Churchill succeeded Neville Chamberlain as British prime minister. 1994; Nelson Mandela was sworn in as South Africa's first black president.

Picture Of The Day: Occasionally, I go through my library to find a few pictures that move me. Today is one of those occasions. I hope you enjoy them.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Why didn't Noah just swat those two mosquitoes? 2) Who was the first person to see a cow and think "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out." Methinks it's probably the same person who said "I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of that chicken's ass." 3) I think it's weird the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust. 4) The difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale is that a northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." 5) Panties aren't best thing on earth, but they're right next to it.....and that's five !

Birthdays: My beautiful grandaughter, Joi. Happy Birthday babydoll ! 19XX, John Wilkes Booth, American actor, the assassin of Abraham Lincoln 1838, Sir Thomas Johnstone Lipton, merchant 1850, Fred Astaire, actor and dancer 1899, David O. Selznick, film producer 1902, Milton Babbitt, composer 1916 Bono, singer 1960.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is an old retired navy chief and the other is a young gorgeous blonde. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the old chief and asks, "Can you top that?" The tough old chief replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked. "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

A man pulled into the crowded parking lot at a shopping center and rolled down the car windows a bit to make sure his dog had fresh air. The dog was stretched full-out on the back seat and the man wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. He walked to the curb backward, pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?Stay! Stay!" The pretty blonde young lady parked in a nearby car gave him a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"

The bartender asked the blonde waitress who had just walked into the bar, "How come you're late?" The blonde explained. "It was terrible! I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course." The bartender asked, "What did you do?" The blonde said, "I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "That's great! What did you do to get it to run?" He replies, "It was nothing, just shit in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful so she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." The milk man asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

That's it for today my little dandy lions. Remember, to err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !