Monday, May 3, 2010

The Gulf Of Mexico Is An Environmental Disaster

The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico may prove to be the worst ecological disaster since the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound, Alaska in 1989. Although the need to explore for more oil is a necessary evil, I have never been in favor of off-shore drilling precisely for catastrophic events like the Exxon Valdez oil spill and the current mess in the Gulf of Mexico.

The ramifications of this disaster will have far reaching effects, not only ecologically, but financially as well. The effect on wildlife is expected to devastating. Besides affecting the people of the gulf coast, whose livelihood is derived from fishing and related businesses, you can be sure that the prices of gasoline and seafood will skyrocket, as well. I wonder if Obozo still wants to allow more off-shore drilling now?

Congratulations to jockey Calvin Borel for his magnificent ride upon Space saver in Saturday's Kentucky Derby. Borel deftly tucked Super Saver along the rail Saturday on a track turned into creamy peanut butter by heavy rain. Borel found only one horse in his way, and once he steered Super Saver around front-running Conveyance, another Run for the Roses was his with a 2 1/2-length over second place Ice Box. Paddy O'Prado finished third.

Borel has now won the Kentucky Derby three times in the last four years. His ride at his home track nearly duplicated the one he turned in last year aboard 50-1 shot Mine That Bird, except he and Super Saver went off at lower odds and were never in last place. Now the duo heads to Baltimore for the Preakness on May 15.

The News As I See It: In 1850, California became a state.The people had no electricity.The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. Basically, nothing has changed today except that, back then, the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands.

The latest poll taken by the office of the Governor of Arizona asked whether people who live in Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem. Sixty percent of respondents answered, "Yes, it is a serious problem." Forty percent of respondents answered, "No es una problema serio."

A tragic flood happened this weekend in the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A spokesman said former president Bush was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one.

Our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Arizona. They can also track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 12 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. I think the solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.

This Date In History: 1937; Margaret Mitchell won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction for Gone With the Wind. 1948; The Shelley v. Kraemer Supreme Court decision stated that it is unconstitutional for a court to enforce a restrictive covenant which prevents people of a certain race from owning or occupying property.

1979; Margaret Thatcher became the first woman elected prime minister of England. 1986; At the age of 54, legendary horse jockey Bill Shoemaker became the oldest person to win the Kentucky Derby, riding Ferdinand to victory. 1999; Kansas and Oklahoma were hit by an outbreak of more than 55 tornadoes, including one measured at F5 on the Fujita scale.

2001; The United States, a member of the UN Human Rights Commission since its inception, lost its seat. It would be restored the following year. 2003; New Hampshire’s symbol, the granite Old Man of the Mountain, collapsed in the state’s Franconia Mountains.

Picture Of The Day: The Kentucky Derby was dampened by incessant rains and storms, but it didn't dampen the spirit of the people who attended. Fortunately, the rain stopped just before the Kentucky Derby and even the sun came out. Today's pictures are from Saturday's Kentucky Derby.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I'm not here right now. I've gone to go look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. 2) Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. 3) I'm writing a new song and I'm working on the lyrics. Brother Kirt said he'd write the words. 4) If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend. 5) The difference between a lawyer and a duck is that a lawyer can shove his bill up his ass!.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Niccolo Machiavelli, Italian author and statesman, one of the outstanding figures of the Renaissance 1469, Richard D'Oyly Carte, theatrical impresario 1844, Jacob Riis, social reformer 1849, Golda Meir, political leader 1898, Pete Seeger, folksinger and composer 1919, Sugar Ray Robinson, boxing champion 1921.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An old lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a rod and reel for his birthday. She picked up a really nice looking rod and asked the salesman how much it was. The salesman says, "I am blind but if you give me the rod I can tell how much it is by the weight." The old lady gives him the rod and he says, "That rod is worth $50." She picked up another really nice rod, hands it to the man and he says, "This rod is worth $60." Amazed at the low price, the old lady decided to buy the more expensive rod and reel.

As she was getting the rod and reel rung up, she realized she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him, so she just let it loose.

All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $70." Confused the old lady says to him, "But you said the rod and reel was only $60." He said, "It is. Its $60 for the rod and reel and $10 for the duck call."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Last week, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says, "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies, "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Michele and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Excellent trade, sir."

When Dick Cheney and George "Dubya" Bush were having breakfast at the White House, an attractive waitress asked Cheney what he would like. Cheney said, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." The waitress asked, "What can I get for you, Mr. President?" George "Dubya" looked up from his menu and replied with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?" The waitress exclaimed, "Why, Mr. President! How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for a year! As the waitress stormed away, Cheney leaned over to Bush and whispered, "George, it's pronounced 'quiche'."

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Obama strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a 1937 silver Bentley to the edge of London where they boarded an open 17th century coach that was hitched to 6 magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their sides and waiving to the thousands lining the streets, all was going well. What a glorious display of pageantry and dignity! Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip one horrific, earth shattering, eye tearing fart and the coach filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident but then President Obama decided that was a ridiculous manner in which to handle this embarrassing situation. He turned to the Queen and explained "Your Majesty, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even the President of the United States can't control." To which the Queen replied "Mr. President, please don't give the matter another thought. You know if you hadn't said something, I would have assumed it was one of the horses!"

That's it for today my little tumble weeds. Remember, interdigitation is defined as the act of holding hands. Personally, I wouldn't take a chance on asking a woman if she wanted to interdigitate unless I was sure she was unarmed, educated and half in the bag. No use taking chances. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

8 comments:

Rose said...

The News As I See It: In 1850, California became a state was hysterical!

Great Post as always!

Hugs, Rose

jack69 said...

I had no idea 'Quickie' was pronounced 'quiche'. No wonder Sherry has been ignoring me! I'll try that tomorrow! Thanks Jimmy!

Martha said...

Great as always Jimmy. Have a great week :-)

Paula said...

I liked number two about horse sense. The few times I went to Corpus Christi, Texas to the horse races I bet on the name I liked best. Never did understand why I didn't win.

Missie said...

Hope you're having a good week!

Senorita said...

I always appreciate a good fart joke. Happy Hump Day !

Heli gunner Tom said...

Jimmy,
Hope you are feeling well and doing fine.

Tom S

Brian said...

Problem is without offshore drilling, there simply wouldn't be enough oil or gas to go around. Only way to stop it is for more environmentally friendly alternatives to be developed/adopted and that ain't going to happen overnight. Well not in a way that could satisfy demand for energy.