Monday, June 28, 2010

Hurricane Season Is Here - Look Out Gulf !

Tropical storm Alex may become the first hurricane of the 2010 hurricane season and although it looks like Alex will veer northwest into Mexico, I'm concerned about the high winds and sea currents and the effect that they will have on the gulf oil disaster area. Leaking continuously for more than two months now, we certainly don't need any new problems that will further complicate the situation in the Gulf of Mexico.

Talk about politically correct, ad nauseum, some politicians have suggested introducing a bill proposing the words "illegal alien" be banned. They feel that the word is degrading and that a more sympathetic title be used. How do they suggest we refer to them? How about "People who enter the United States in a manner that is contrary to the laws of the United States"? Next, they'll want to introduce a bill referring to burglars as "uninvited guests".

The News As I See It: Mexico has filed a brief against Arizona’s new immigration law. It’s a precedent because it’s the first immigration law Mexico has paid any attention to.

President Obama met with the Russian president at the White House and afterwards, took him out for a burger. It was a bit awkward because Gen. McChrystal was working behind the counter. The Russian president wanted to pick up the check, but Obama said, "Don’t worry about it, just charge it to our grandchildren."

This Date In History: 1836; The fourth president of the United States, James Madison, died at Montpelier, his Virginia estate. 1894; Labor Day became a federal holiday by an act of Congress. 1914; Archduke Francis Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary and his wife were assassinated, setting off World War I.

1919; The Treaty of Versailles was signed in France, ending World War I. 1978; The Supreme Court ruled in Regents of the University of California v. Bakke that the use of quotas in affirmative action programs was not permissible. 1996; The Citadel, the Military College of South Carolina, voted to admit women.

1997; Boxer Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield's ear during their heavyweight title fight, earning a 16-month suspension. 2000; Elian Gonzalez was returned to his father in Cuba. 2001; Serbia handed over Slobodan Milosevic over to the UN war crimes tribunal.

Picture Of The Day:In a bizarre statement to police, the Oregon woman who claims that Al Gore fondled and groped her during a massage session described the former Vice President as a giggling "crazed sex poodle" who gave a "come hither" look before pouncing on her in a Portland hotel suite. In a taped January 2009 interview with cops, the 54-year-old woman, a licensed masseuse whose name has been redacted from police records, read from a lengthy prepared statement that detailed her alleged October 2006 encounter with Gore at the Hotel Lucia.

Firstly, the thought of Al Gore being the subject in any conversation involving sex is repulsive. But on the funny side, the thought of "Big Al" laying down his bad rap is hilarious. On that note, Al's my selection for the "picture of the day".

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 2) It's easy to get some lumber, nails and a saw to try to build something. Anybody can do that. What's hard to do is take a nap while someone is hammering and sawing. 3) When I was seven, I told my friend Timmy Barker I would give him a million dollars if he would eat an earthworm. He ate the worm, but I never gave him the million dollars. As of last week, all I had given him was $9,840. 4) If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. 5) I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money.".....and that's five !

Birthdays: Henry VIII, king of England (1509–47), second son and successor of Henry VII 1491, Peter Paul Rubens, painter 1577, Jean Jacques Rousseau, philosopher 1712, Luigi Pirandello, author 1867, Richard Rodgers, composer 1902, Mel Brooks, writer, film director 1926, John Elway, football player 1960, John Cusack, actor 1966.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Ray shows up at the bar all out of breath so Dewey asks, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Ray says, "I've been running from the cops but I finally lost them." Dewey then asks, "What the hell did you do?" Ray replies, "I was pissing in the shower and the cops showed up to arrest me!" Dewey says, "Thats not against the law." Ray says, "Thats what I thought, but those guys at Home Depot sure thought it was."

A Mississippi farmer was disturbed when he found out his son was masturbating several times a day out in the barn. He told his son, "Boy, you gotta quit that! Go out and git yo'self a wife." So the boy went out and found himself a pretty young girl, to whom he got married. But a week or so after the wedding, the farmer found his son choking the chicken again. The farmer yelled at his son, "You crazy boy!! That Becky-Sue's a fine young gal." His son says, "I know Paw, but her arm gits tired sometimes!"

A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness she had in her youth. So, she heads off to the doctor for the procedure. Once the procedure is done, she wakes up to find three roses on her bed, and asks the nurse who sent them. The nurse says, "The doctor wanted you to know he appreciates the business, so he left you a rose. Then your husband came in with a rose, stating that he can't wait to feel the results of the surgery, so he left a rose, too." The patient asks, "What about the third rose?" The nurse says, "Oh, that's from Ed in the burn unit. He wanted to say thanks for the new ears."

That's it for today my little chicklets. Remember, half of all Americans can't do math, and the other two-thirds don't care. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Sorry Jimmy, I can't talk now, Ed is showing his ears down in the Lobby!!!!

Thanks for the laughs!

Julie said...

Funny entry, thanks for the laughs. loved all the cartoons today

Anne said...

The cartoon are so funny. I always thought Al Gore was gay! I guess this deal is no happy ending. Music is wonderful, as usual! Anne