Nevertheless, I'll be off to somewhere either with company or flying solo. I'm kinda itching to go someplace new tonight, but with the right phone call, I'll shelve that idea. We'll call that alternate plan A. Either way, tonight should be fun and if my feeble little mind is kind enough to remind me, I'll try and snap a few pictures. The News As I See It: Mexico has filed a brief in a U.S. court to stop Arizona’s immigration law. And while they’re at it, they also asked the court to stop Taco Bell from calling itself "Mexican" food. Let me see if I understand soccer. A yellow card is a warning, a red card means you have to leave the game, and a green card means you can move to the United States.
President Obozo said, after firing Gen. McChrystal, that you don’t criticize your bosses. That’s the same reason Obozo never says anything bad about the Chinese. Obozo is in a tough spot because when he fired Gen. McChrystal, the Republicans blamed him for increasing unemployment. Well, we all knew this was going to happen. Gen. McChrystal has canceled his subscription to Rolling Stone.
In Florida: A man was run over by his own truck after his dog put the truck in gear. First, it looked like an accident but it turns out the dog was texting. A rich woman in Miami died and left $3 million to her pet Chihuahua and only $1 million to her son. Guys, the next time your mom says, "Sit down and roll over", just do it. This Date In History: 1788; Virginia became the 10th state in the Union. 1876; Lt. Col. George A. Custer and all his men were killed by Sioux and Cheyanne Indians at the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana. 1950; Communist North Korean troops invaded South Korea, beginning the Korean War.
1951; The first commercial color TV program was transmitted by CBS from New York to Baltimore, Philadelphia, Boston, and Washington, DC. 1991; Croatia and Slovenia proclaimed their independence from Yugoslavia, beginning the Yugoslavian civil war. 1997; Oceanographer Jacques Cousteau died.
Picture Of The Day: Sexy ladies, one of the more interesting sights when I head over to AREA51 for my Friday night trek. It's also good if you speak two or more languages, especially in Miami. I'm fluent in English, Spanish and Jack Daniels.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) MAfter (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !! 2) When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 3) Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. 4) Life's a bitch because if it was a slut, it'd be easy. 5) I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen.".....and that's five !
Birthdays: Antonio Gaudí, architect 1852, Robert Henri, painter 1865, George Abbott, theatrical producer 1887, George Orwell, pseudonym of Eric Arthur Blair, British novelist and essayist 1903, James Meredith, civil-rights leader 1933.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." The doctor, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, said, "I know, I know. I get asked this all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." Catherine said, "No, that's not it. He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
An old man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old fat ass?" She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up." The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Linda and Victor for their contributions to today's post.
A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. When bell 1 rings, we all put on our jackets. When bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. When bell 3 rings, we're on the fire truck ready to go."
He continued, "From now on when I say bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When say bell 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say bell 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "Bell 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "Bell 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes, the wife yelled. "Bell 4!" The fireman asked, "What the hell is Bell 4?" His wife relied, "Roll out more hose, you're nowhere near the fire!"
A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You`re beautiful." Flattered, his wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You`re cute." His wife said, "What happened to `beautiful`?" The husband replied,"The drugs are wearing off." A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband gave his wife a gift - a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever." Later, the furious wife bought a return present - also a tombstone, on which the inscription read: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last."
A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a nice tan everywhere except where his bathing suit was. So the next day he decided to cover the tanned areas with sand and leave the untanned areas exposed so he could have a nice even tan.
After he was lying there for a while, 2 older women came walking by. When they saw him lying there, they stopped and one of them said, "Ruth, when I was 20, I was afraid of them, when I was 40, I couldn't get enough of them and now that I'm 80, they're growing wild on the beach!
That's it for today my little jitterbugs. Remember, if you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation. My thoughts now turn to Happy Hour and I'm off to AREA 51. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !