Friday, June 7, 2013

Memories Of Skiing Lake Tahoe

The evening lights of South Lake Tahoe, California still beckon me as I reflect upon skiing vacations of years past. Probably one of the most scenic locales in the wold, the Sierra Nevada mountains, Lake Tahoe and beautiful Emerald Bay combined with accommodations at Caesar's Palace offer a getaway that's hard to top.

I was always rather fortunate both on the mountain and in the casinos, walking away from both with no broken bones and my wallet a bit fatter. One of the other enjoyable events is the Paddle Wheel dinner cruise across the lake at night with exquisite dining, an evening of music and the majestic view of both mountains and lake.

I'm pleased to say that I vacationed there several times and the good times and memories are a pleasant part of my life.

Beautiful Emerald Bay

When I was young, my intent was to go to medical school, but I was confused by the entrance exam. The deciding question was: "Re-arrange the letters "P N E S I" to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect." Those who spelled spine became doctors. The rest are in Congress.

The News As I See It: A new study says 20 percent of women in their 40s would describe themselves as very happy. However, only 1 percent of women in their 40s would describe themselves as a woman in her 40s.

After a month of waiting, it turns out that an 84-year-old woman in Florida has won the $590 million Powerball lottery. As for how much tax she’s going to have to pay, the IRS said it’s too early to tell because they don’t know whether she’s a Republican or Democrat. She would have come out sooner, but the last two weeks she has been driving home from the store where she bought the ticket.

Obama has called on Congress to pass a media shield law that would allow reporters to do their job without fear of government prosecution. Don't we already have that? It's called the First Amendment.

Another scandal hit the White House. A report found that the government has been secretly collecting the phone records of Verizon customers. I knew something was up when I said, "You hang up first." Then my wife said, "No, you hang up first!" Then Obama said, "Uh, how about you just hang up at the same time?"

More problems for the IRS. Isn't that the feel-good story of the year? They wasted $50 million over a two-year period on conferences and retreats for employees. They even spent $11,000 on a happiness expert. I have an idea how to make them happier. How about stopping making everybody else's life miserable?

Dunkin' Donuts will start putting bacon on a glazed doughnut. Every sandwich comes with a coupon for bypass surgery.

This Date In History: 1494; Spain and Portugal signed the Treaty of Tordesillas, which divided the New World between the two countries. 1654; Louis XIV was crowned king of France. 1776; Richard Henry Lee of Virginia introduced a resolution in the Continental Congress proposing a Declaration of Independence.

1892; Homer Plessy was arrested for his refusal to move from a whites-only seat on a train. This led to the Plessy v. Ferguson Supreme Court decision. 1929; Vatican City became a sovereign state.

1948; President Eduard Beneš of Czechoslovakia resigned and the Communist takeover of the country was completed. 1967; Dorothy Parker, American short story writer, poet, and critic, died. 2003; Rev. V. Gene Robinson was elected the first openly gay bishop by New Hampshire Episcopalians.

Picture Of The Day: Cheerios seems to have pissed off a lot of people with their new bi-racial add featuring a mixed raced child asking her white mother a question. The next picture shows a black father asleep on the couch with Cheerios poured over his heart (ostensibly because Cheerios supposedly is good for the heart).

The ad was featured on YouTube but comments were disabled after a large number of protests as to content. While I don't care for Cheerios anyway, I don't think commercial advertisements should be inflicting their ideologies, moral judgements or values, politically correct or not.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Did you "ask" her or "axe" her? Seriously, because one is murder. 2) At what age do you tell your kids that the UN isn't real? 3) It's a good thing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wore masks or people might have recognized the 4 giant turtles at their day jobs. 4) I'm single with no kids. I don't answer to anyone. "Meow" ..... Okay! Okay! I'm opening the can now! Please don't shred the toilet paper again! 5) Spiders are nature's reminder that you are, in fact, a little girl.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 7th : Lifting heavy objects may cause you pain later today. "Head Lice!" is not something to be screamed in terror at the local bus stop. Time and time again you are asked to wait outside the room while the "adults" discuss your situation. Gift horses always happen to those who least expect it.

Birthdays: Paul Gauguin, painter 1848, Knud Rasmussen, arctic explorer 1879, Elizabeth Bowen, author 1899, Jessica Tandy, actress 1909, Virginia Apgar, physician and anesthesiologist 1909, "Nikki" Giovanni, poet 1943.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

She replies, "Yes, he's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." The husband says, "That's remarkable. I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

A man's wife, being the romantic sort, sent a text to her husband:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you xx."

The husband texted back: I'm taking a crap. What should I do?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks, "Do you do custom work?" The artist replies, "Why of course!" The woman says, "Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh." The artist says, "No problem. Strip from the waist down and get up on the table."

After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up, examines the tattoos ans says, "That doesn't look like them!" The artist says indignantly, "Yes it does and I can prove it." With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find, who happens to be the town drunk.

The drunk is explained the controversy. The woman asks, "Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?" The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.''

The man said, "I see. Whose clock is that?'' St. Peter said, "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'' The man said, "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln 's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.''

The man then asked, "Where's Obama 's clock?" St. Peter said, "Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

That's it for today, my little collie flowers. Remember, girls don't dress up to impress guys. They dress up to impress other girls. If they wanted to impress guys, they would just run around naked all day.  AREA 51 is my destination for happy hour and a little karaoke.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Tahoe, you are so right it is beautiful country. Sherry wouldn’t let me ski, I might get hurt, couldn’t gamble I might lose the gro. Money and the danged paddle wheel thingee might sink. But we did get to see the lake!
To be honest I NEVER thought of the Ask and AXE thing, U B RITE!
Oh and at the end, very wise statement about why women dress up. Imma thinking you are probably right!
Enjoy the weekend, I’m off to get in line for Sherry’s Grandson’s graduation.

Paula said...

Hee hee the clock joke is funny.