Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Liar Liar

It's taken for granted that all politicians, especially the current class, say one thing while campaigning and end up doing the other after being elected. They're obviously liars and thieves. Currently, they all have a case of convenient amnesia.

I have never heard so many "It wasn't me" and "I don't know or recall" answers. The funny thing is all of their rhetorical speeches are on YouTube so evidently, the only people who don't realize that they're assholes are the candidates themselves.

Moreover, many of their responses when under investigation and answering questions are referred to by the politically correct questioner as "untruths." The correct response is, "Sir, you are a liar and we have proof!"

Well, the jig is up! Obama and big government are up to their asses in scandals from Beghazi to the IRS and something needs to be done. How those arrogant assholes like Eric holder and Lois Lerner still have jobs is beyond my imagination.

The News As I See It: The new "Superman" movie opens on Friday. It's a great story. When Superman’s dad realizes his son is gifted with X-ray vision and super hearing, he puts him in a rocket and sends him toward earth, because he knows with those powers he can get a job in the Obama administration.

Former CIA technician Edward Snowden leaked the story that the federal government was collecting phone records from Verizon customers. Snowden said, "You’re being watched." To which NBC executives said, "Finally! We would love to be watched."

Happy birthday to Sasha, the president's daughter, who recently turned 12 years old. For her birthday, her father gave her Justin Bieber's phone records.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is on Twitter, ostensibly pushing herself for president in 2016. A politician on Twitter — what could possibly go wrong?

Pope Francis said it is a sin for people to waste food. He made that proclamation and then he made Chris Christie a saint.

Kanye West will not be in the delivery room when Kim Kardashian has her baby. This was at the request of the baby.

The New England Patriots signed Tim Tebow. Apparently they needed a virgin to sacrifice to the football gods. Tim Tebow fit the bill perfectly.

This Date In History: 1880; John Lee Richmond pitched baseball's first perfect game. A perfect game occurs when no batter reaches a base during a complete game of at least nine innings.

1898; Emilio Aguinaldo, head of the Philippine nationalists, proclaimed independence from Spain. 1939; The Baseball Hall of Fame opened to the public in Cooperstown, New York. 1942; Anne Frank received a diary for her birthday.

1963; Civil rights leader Medgar Evers was fatally shot in front of his home in Jackson, Mississippi. 1997; Inter-league play began in baseball, ending a 126-year tradition of separating the major leagues until the World Series.

Picture Of The Day: My pal Nick posted this image on his Facebook music site. I liked it so I stole borrowed it. 

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse? 2) Age gets better with wine. 3) I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants. 4) "Thank you. I am completely satisfied by your explanation and have no further questions." said no child, ever.  5) Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 12: You can't hide from the rest of the day, so I suggest you burst headlong into it without waiting for anyone to catch up. Significant other is a fairly distant way to refer to a loved one. Why not call them "the person I sleep with"?

Birthdays: My pal Linda - Happy Birthday girl ! 19XX, Johanna Spyri, author 1827, Djuna Barnes, author 1892, George Herbert Walker Bush, 41st President of the United States (1989–93) 1924, Anne Frank, diarist 1929.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man, a bit lost, is driving down a country road. He spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. With the though of asking directions, he pulls the car over to the side of the road. He then notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Excuse me mister, I initially stopped for directions, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize." Puzzled, the man asks, "How." The farmer says, "Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

A farmer asked his vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn’t doing well at all. After checking the bull’s vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill.

He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet. Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence and mounting every cow in his way.

The vet exclaimed, "Well, looks like your bull is healed!" The farmer ruefully smiled and replied, Yep, now give me one of those pills. I’ve gotta catch him!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Butch for his contribution to today's stories.

Tom bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. Go runs on either hydrogen, gasoline or E85. He returned it to the dealer yesterday because he couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.

The technician said to the radio, Nelson." The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" The technician said, "Willie!" and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

Tom drove away happy and for the next few days, every time he'd say, "Beethoven", he'd get beautiful classical music and if he said, "Beatles",  he'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed Tom's new truck, but Tom swerved in time to avoid him. He yelled, "Asshole!" Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States." Old Tom loves his new truck.....

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked, "Who are you?" The voice answered, "I am your guardian angel." The man said, "Yeah? And where the hell were you when I got married?"

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do you know you were speeding?", the 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated, "Yes, but I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

That's it for today, my little rosebuds. Remember, always read stuff that will make you look good in case you die in the middle of it. AREA 51 is rather "iffy" tonight. I'm late starting my journal entry and it's raining. Then again, I'm out of scotch......

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Great read. funny you should think that someone is telling an 'untruth' in this administration.
We have the only president who can stand on both sides of an issue and win the argument!
Great printables. and of course it is easy for a person with common sense to agree with the NEWS!
Hope you made it home from Area 51!