Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Rolling Stone Magazine Stoops To New Low With August Cover
Rolling Stone magazine will feature Boston Marathon bomber and murderer Dzhokhar "Jahar" Tsarnaev, the 19-year-old native Chechen, on the cover of its August 1st issue.
The cover was unveiled on Tuesday, describing Janet Reitman's lead story as "a riveting and heartbreaking account of how a charming kid with a bright future became a monster."
Heartbreaking? Heartbreak should be reserved for the innocent people injured and killed by this asshole. I personally don't care if he had a hard life. A lot of people have hard lives yet remain good citizens.
Always considered a "rag" in the industry, Rolling Stone has stooped to a new low. What's their next big story, Adolf Hitler's troubled life as a teenager?
CVS pharmacies and other stores are boycotting and refusing to sell the magazine which is a good start and will hopefully send a strong message.
The News As I See It: Twinkies are back for the first time in eight months and they're healthier now. The new version are free-range Twinkies. Grocery stores are calling it a good day for business, while Spanx is calling it a great day for business.
Thirty-four NFL players have been arrested just since the Super Bowl. In fact, most NFL instant replays are now just playbacks of strip club security-camera footage.
Britain is in a heightened state of alert for the royal baby watch. Everyone's on the lookout for the helpless little bald creature that will someday become the most powerful person in England. But enough about Prince Charles. William's brother, Prince Harry, is said to be very excited. He'll be an uncle for the first time and he will no longer be the only one running around in the royal palace naked.
Six employees at L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai hospital have been fired for snooping through Kim Kardashian's medical records. Kim was upset. She said it was an invasion of her privacy and all three of her cameramen agreed.
Edward Snowden, the NSA leaker, wants asylum in Venezuela. He also wants to be able to have summer asylum in the Hamptons.
Obama told a group of school children that broccoli is his favorite food. You know, it's one thing to lie to the voters, but when you’re lying to kids, come on.
According to a new study, inactivity can kill you. You can die from doing nothing. Believe me. These findings scare the hell out of the Congress.
This Date In History: 1821; Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1898; Spain surrendered to the United States at Santiago, Cuba, ending the Spanish-American War. 1917; The British royal family changed its name from the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor amid anti-German sentiment during World War I.
1938; "Wrong Way Corrigan" took off from New York, purportedly aiming for California and landing in Ireland. 1945; President Harry Truman, Soviet leader Joseph Stalin and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill meet at the opening of the Potsdam Conference.
1955; Disneyland opened in Anaheim, California. 1975; The American Apollo and Soviet Soyuz spacecraft linked up for the first time. 1998; The last Russian Czar Nicholas II was buried 80 years after he and his family were executed by the Bolsheviks.
Picture Of The Day: All of today's pictures are good but I was particularly taken by these Eastern Phoebe chicks.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over. 2) My friend took his family to an authentic Chinese restaurant. He and his wife had chow mein and his daughter built 3 iPhones. 3) My girlfriend and I toss a coin to settle arguments. Heads she wins, tails I apologize 4) It's been five minutes since Adobe asked me to install an update. I hope they didn't go out of business or something. 5) As I walk past the duck pond, the big white ugly duck with the red thing on his head eyes me ominously. I find myself nervously clutching my newly bought loaf of bread. I may run.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Cancer - July 17th: Itching may be a sign of bad things to come. Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining. If find yourself speaking in different languages while smoking weed, you're probably Rosetta Stoned.
Birthdays: Elbridge Gerry, Vice President of the United States, American statesman 1744, John Jacob Astor, merchant 1763, Erle Stanley Gardner, detective-story writer 1889, Berenice Abbott, photographer 1898, Donald Sutherland, actor 1934.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage."
He continued, "I Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."
His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, 'Who's horny?' and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works every time!"
One night, a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. The mother diplomatically, "Dear, he doesn't seem very nice." The daughter replied, "Oh please, Mom. If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.
A man called to testify at the IRS asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. The accountant said, "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. The lawyer said, "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. The priest said, "Let me tell you a story. A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. she said, 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Her best friend said, 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'"
The man protested, "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" The priest replied, "It doesn't matter what you wear, you're still going to get screwed!"
The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a "Vote for Obama" hat and a "Save the Trees" shirt.
The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 800-pound grizzly bear. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing "Go Sarah" shirts came racing up.
One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Four of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while another placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him and proclaimed, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions! I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?" Another replied, "Dude, that was the Pope. He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
The logger said, "Well, he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Chicago and get another one?"
That's it for today, my little peaches. Remember, women remember every word of an argument, I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now. I'm heading to AREA 51 for happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !