Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Kids Can't Be Cowboys Or Indians On Halloween?
In Colorado and some other states, schools have sent notices to students that Halloween outfits should not be cowboys, Indians, or genies. This from a state that just legalized the recreational use of marijuana. Yep, don't go as Roy Rogers, go as Barry Soetero, the pot smoking hippy that backed into the presidency.
Instead of going as Pocahontas, go as Jane Fonda, another airhead who went to Hanoi to rail about our Vietnam soldiers and America's role in the war from her warped perspective.
University of Colorado Boulder tells students to avoid costumes including cowboys, Indians, "white trash" or anything potentially deemed offensive. University students in America have been told not to wear "offensive" Halloween costumes including cowboys, Indians and anything involving a sombrero. Sombreros? Sexy! White Trash? Define that Boulder libtard idiots.
Students have also been told to avoid costumes and anything that portrays a particular culture as "over-sexualized" - which the university says includes dressing up as a geisha or a "squaw" (indigenous woman). They are also asked not to host parties with offensive themes including those with "ghetto" or "hillbilly" themes or those associated with "crime or sex work." Does that mean Obama, Clinton and Jimmy Carter are out?
Students at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities have also been asked to make sure their Halloween costumes are politically correct. In a letter, officials said: "please keep in mind that certain Halloween costumes inappropriately perpetuate racial, cultural, and gender stereotypes."
Yeah, go as respectable citizens like Clinton and Lewinsky, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Ted Cruz, et al.
The News As I See It: Obama has been saying for years that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans. But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have. Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing.
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius was grilled by Congress today, hemming and hawing her way for three hours without really saying anything. Don't worry, Obamacare will cover all her injuries after the White House throws her under the bus.
A new report says more than 700 fake Obamacare websites have been created. Security experts say it's simple to identify the phony sites because they are easy to log on to.
The White House said that one of the reasons the Obamacare website has had so many problems is because it's so popular that it was overwhelmed. Really? How come Psy's "Gangnam Style" video never had any problems? He got 2.5 billion hits!
The Obamacare website is not the only one crashing. The NSA website went offline Friday after suspected hackers broke into it. Hey, NSA, It’s not so much fun when people are sneaking into your computer, is it?
This Date In History: 1534; The English parliament passed the Act of Supremacy, making King Henry VIII head of the English church. 1938; Radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds, starring Orson Welles, caused nationwide panic among listeners.
1944; Martha Graham's ballet Appalachian Spring, with music by Aaron Copland, premiered. 1953; Gen. George C. Marshall won the Nobel Peace Prize for originating the Marshall Plan.
1974; Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in the eighth round of a 15-round bout in Kinshasa, Zaire ("Rumble in the jungle") to regain his world heavyweight title.
Picture Of The Day: Always remember to remind your mother-in-law not to text and fly.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If someone says they don't speak English, tell them their shoes are untied and see if they look down. 2) I told my friends, "I'm frying some fish for supper, so y'all come over and eat." What I meant was, "You're also gonna be helping me move my piano." 3) I'm worried my dog will never find out who's a good boy. 4) The teacher asked the kids to pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Three of the kids picked Internet Explorer 6. 5) Dogs lick each other's asses to tell each other they like them - just like politicians.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 30th: Remember that water dissolves alien beasts and some witches. This information may or may not affect your balance when handing a glass of water to your mother-in-law.
Birthdays: John Adams U.S. president 1735, Alfred Sisley landscape painter 1839, Ezra Pound, American poet, critic and translator 1885, Ruth Gordon actress and playwright 1896, Fred W. Friendly broadcaster and author 1915, Louis Malle director 1932, Diego Maradona soccer player 1960.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An older man went to a job interview. The Human Resources manager asked him, "What is your greatest weakness?" The man replied, "Honesty."
The Human Resources manager said, "I don't think honesty is a weakness." The older man said, "I don't really give a shit what you think."
An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs. When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!" She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you."
Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker. The old woman says, you're going out like that?" The old man replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tator."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt for his contributions to today's stories.
A woman had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed. She went to a plastic surgeon and asks the doctor, "I can't get rid of these bags, can you help me?"
The doctor told he is willing to try a new experimental technique on her. He will put a crank in the back of her head and when she sees bags under her eyes, she is to use the crank and the bags will go away.
She gets the crank put in her head and leaves. It works for a while until one day, she can't get rid of the bags under her eyes. She cranks and cranks as hard as she can, but they just wont go away. So she goes to the doctor.
She says to the doctor, "This was working for a while, but I can't seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes." The doctor replies, "Those aren't bags....those are your boobs." The woman replied, "I guess that explains this goatee."
A drunk left the bar and staggered off in to the night on his way home. As he was passing a pumpkin patch he thought, "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and since there's no one around......." He picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his need.
In the process, he failed to notice a police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until a female officer approached him and said, "Sir, do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"
The drunk froze and was clearly very surprised that she was there. Then looked her straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
That's it for today, my little goblins. Remember, Halloween is tomorow. I love Halloween. You open the door and there are strangers in masks. Good idea. It's the only time of the year that I prefer opening the door to Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !