Monday, July 27, 2015
Happy Birthday Bugs !
The world’s favorite rabbit turns 75 today. In 1940, the cotton-tailed character’s debuted in his first cartoon short "Wild Hare". There won’t be much hoopla to, because Warner Brothers inexplicably doesn’t observe the birthdays of animated characters.
There’s some logic to that, especially in Mr. Bunny’s case. There had been earlier variations: A wisecracking rabbit, voiced by Mel Blanc, debuted in the 1938 "Porky’s Hare Hunt" but the speech patterns and look were very different.
In the next few years, WB’s Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons featured other rabbits. But the 1940 "Wild Hare" was the first one where Bugs looked like himself, sounded like himself and, significantly, it was the first time he uttered the immortal words "What’s up, Doc?"
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.
The News As I See It: GOP Congressman Carlos Curbelo suggested that Donald Trump may be a "phantom candidate" that has been planted by the Democrats. The DNC strongly denied this while Hillary said, "Crap! They figured it out! Take off the wig, Bill."
A new poll shows that a majority of people in Colorado think Hillary Clinton is not trustworthy. Although, that's not saying much coming from the most paranoid state in America.
This Date In History: 1861; Union general George B. McClellan was put in command of the Army of the Potomac during the Civil War. 1940; Bugs Bunny made his debut in the cartoon "A Wild Hare".
1940; Billboard magazine published its first singles record chart (for the week of July 20). 1953; An armistice was signed ending the Korean War.
1974; The House Judiciary Committee voted to impeach Richard Nixon for obstructing justice in the Watergate case. 1995; The Korean War Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC.
1996; A pipe bomb exploded in an Atlanta park during the Olympic Games. 2003; Lance Armstrong won his fifth straight Tour de France, tying Miguel Indurain's record.
2003; Comedian Bob Hope died in his home, at the age of 100. 2012; The 2012 Summer Olympics began in London.
Picture Of The Day: On a darker side, it seems that Elmer Fudd is a bit more dangerous than his character in the cartoons.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) You know you're getting old when you have to turn your music down to park your car. 2) Hey Google, how about letting me type more than three letters in my search before you start trying to confuse me with suggestions. 3) "Always leave them wanting more" is my standard approach to paying my bills. 4) A portmanteau is when you combine two words to make one word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon. 5) I never was an Olympic athlete, but I did participate in a Toyotathon once.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Leo - July 27th: Bread, lightly cooked, buttered. Today's horoscope is sponsored by Toast. All of your aims are achievable, although many of them would involve bionic implants and some theft. Long walks, cold showers and playing with puppies will help alleviate the lack of romance in your life this week.
Birthdays: Alexandre Dumas, French dramatist and novelist 1824, Leo Durocher, baseball player 1905, Norman Lear, television producer 1922, Bharati Mukherjee, writer 1940, Peggy Fleming, Olympic ice skater 1948.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Little Johnny comes down for breakfast and since they live on a farm, his mother asks him if he has done his chores.Little Johnny replies, "Not yet." His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.
Pissed off, he goes to feed the chickens and he kicks a chicken. He goes off to feed the cows and he kicks a cow. Then he goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk on my cereal?" he asks.
His mother says "I saw you kick the chicken so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk".
Just then his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he is walking into the kitchen. Little johnny looks up at his mother and with a smile says, "Are you going to tell him or should I?"
The isr grade teacher asked her class, "Do you know what sound doggies make?" Everyone in the class said, "Woof woof." So the teacher asked, "Do you know what sound a kitty makes?" The class answered, "Meow, meow."
The teacher said, "Now, for a gold star, do you know what sound a bunny rabbit makes?" There was a long silence and then one little boy stood up and said, "What’s up, Doc?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?” He says, "Ok, get in the car with it."
His wife says, "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It’s nice and warm there." His wife asks, "But what about the smell?" Her husband replied, "Just hold its little nose."
(The man is recovering and the little skunk she used to beat him with is expected to recover as well).
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers it. A man says, "Mrs. Sanders, please." The woman replied, "Speaking." The man says, "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
Mrs Sanders asks nervously, "What do you mean?" The doctor says, "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which." Mrs. Sanders says, "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?"
The doctor replies, "Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time." Mrs Sanders asks, "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
The doctor says, "The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
That's it for today, my little peacocks. Remember, men can survive an entire weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
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More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !