Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Tom Brady Would Make A Good Running Mate For Hillary

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his role in using under-inflated footballs during the AFC championship game has been upheld by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

The league announced the decision Tuesday, saying that Brady told an assistant to destroy his cellphone on or just before March 6th. Brady met with independent investigator Ted Wells on that day.

Goodell said, "He did so even though he was aware that the investigators had requested access to text messages and emails that had been stored on that phone. During the four months that the cellphone was in use, Brady exchanged nearly 10,000 text messages and emails, none of which can now be retrieved from that device."

Hmmm..... Destroyed and deleted texts and emails? I think that Brady's alleged actions makes him potential vice president material for Hillary Clinton.

It amazes me that the NFL takes swift action on a controversial football game while nothing is done about Hillary Clinton deliberately breaking the law.

The News As I See It: Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes. Hillary was like, "Yeah, that wasn't me."

Chris Christie attended the Italian-American Heritage Festival street fair in Iowa this weekend, where they celebrated Italian culture and Italian food. The street fair involved two of Christie’s favorite pastimes – eating, and shutting down traffic. It's a combo platter.

Snoop Dogg was arrested and released in Sweden this weekend on suspicion of sing illegal drugs. Officials first became suspicious in 1991.

This Date In History: 1890; Artist Vincent van Gogh died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Auvers, France. 1958; President Eisenhower signed the congressional act that created the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was authorized by Congress.

1968; In Humanae Vitae (of Human Life), Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Catholic Church's prohibition on artificial methods of birth control. 1981; Prince Charles, heir to the British throne, married Lady Diana Spencer.

2003; Red sox switch hitter Bill Mueller became the first baseball player to hit grand slam home runs from both sides of the plate in the same game.

Picture Of The Day: This is Secretary of State John Kerry, the man that just negotiated a nuclear agreement with Iran. Need I say more?

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I have never seen a brunette with blond roots.  2) I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff. 3) I can't wait to finish today's post, because I have a roll of Life Savers in the kitchen and I think pineapple is next 4) Vegans with children named "Hunter" are one of the reasons I lie awake at night.  5) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - July 29th: Now that you're getting over your last weekend's antics, I suggest that you maintain a low profile until all of the various social sites quit running those pictures that seemed funny at the time. Seriously, you're not the first to wear a lampshade as a hat. Chance of romance is 47.62 percent.

Birthdays: Booth Tarkington, author 1869, Benito Mussolini, Italian dictator 1883, Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish statesman, secretary-general of the United Nations (1953–61) 1905, Nancy Landon Kassebaum, senator 1932, Elizabeth Hanford Dole, public official 1936, Peter Jennings, news anchor Ken Burns, documentary filmmaker 1953.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred as some of the grappling hooks holding the climbers, gave way. This left six climbers clinging precariously to the swinging rope suspended from the mountain. Five of the women were blonde and one was a brunette.

As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. If that did not happen, the weight on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments, no one volunteered.

Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. All five blondes applauded.

During mealtime on a flight on a British Airways plane, the flight attendant asked the obnoxious man seated in the front row, "Would you like dinner?" The man asked, "What are my choices?" The flight attendant replied, "Yes or no."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden in their Wyoming ranch. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly, she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

She asked,"Daddy,what are those two spiders doing?" Her father replied, "They're mating." The Little girl said, "What do you call the spider on top?" The father answered, "That's a Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl asked."So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied, "No dear, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment. Then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback Mountain shit in our garden."

Soon after marrying a beautiful blonde, a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season. His new wife started nagging that he had never asked her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won.

That next morning they drove out to the country and the wife climbed up in a tree for a better hidden view, about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position.

As the Texan ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from It!! The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady..... It's your deer.... Just let me get my saddle off of it!"

That's it for today, my little tater tots. Remember, the colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to lie on it. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

So you are saying that him accidentally saying destroy phone is suspicious? Jimmy!
I hope the dude got his saddle.
TAke care, I will be playing nurse here.

Heli gunner Tom said...

If I did what the quarter back did, they would hang me by my thumbs and whip me to death with a barb wire whip ! I don't want to be too negative, since in the end I have been abundantly blessed and retired in a Summer paradise in the U.P. But only some high elite, so full of himself, doesn't have the brains or heart to just take his punishment instead of whining like a little spoiled kid. Just my opinion.