Monday, October 19, 2015
Driving Miss Ginger
My long time friend Wally captured this adorable picture of his wife Dianne and his canine queen "Ginger". Dianne and Ginger have Wally well trained and house broken. Both ladies certainly know how to strike a pose.
Wally and I go back to junior high and high school. We have quite a few mutual friends, all of whom are well aware of the ladies in his life through the lens of his beautiful pictures.
Wally lives in Georgia in a small community and the pictures that he shares with his friends are of post card quality. Visiting Wally, Dianne and Ginger are definitely on my bucket list.
The News As I See It: It's been reported that Jeb Bush's campaign has been staying at cheaper hotels to save money. Which would make Jeb the first politician ever to book a room at a cheap motel just to sleep.
In the Democratic debate, candidate Lincoln Chafee bragged about the fact that in 30 years of public service, he’s never had one scandal. Well, it just came out that Chafee once used taxpayer money to buy frogs for his office aquarium. Liberals said, "Well at least it wasn't a sex scandal." Chafee responded, "Ribbitt".
This Date In History: 1781; British General Cornwallis surrendered to General George Washington at Yorktown, Va., bringing an end to the last major battle of the American Revolution.
1812; French troops under Napoleon Bonaparte began their retreat from Moscow. 1960; The United States imposes a partial embargo on goods exported to Cuba. 1983; The Senate passed a bill (78–22) making Martin Luther King,'s birthday a public holiday.
1987; The stock market crashed on what came to be known as "Black Monday." Stocks dropped a record 508 points, or 22.6%, topping the drops on October 28 and 29 in 1929 that ushered in the Great Depression.
Picture Of The Day: Bad Timing? Ahmed Muhammad, is a 14-year-old boy who was arrested in Irving, Texas, after he brought a homemade clock to his first day of high school. His teachers believed it was a bomb.
Authorities later learned that it was a clock, described as "a circuit board and power supply wired to a digital display, all strapped inside a case with a tiger hologram on the front.
The incident prompted cries of outrage and accusations of Islamophobia. Obama quickly picked up the liberal baton, congratulated the boy and invited him to the White House.
Muhammed is set to meet Obama tonight after posing for pictures with Sudanese Leader, Omar al-Bashir, an alleged war criminal. Is this the case of an innocent clock maker or trial run for a terrorist bomb? I hope Obama enjoys this recent picture....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think that a man in a relationship should forget his mistakes. There's really no use in two people remembering them. 2) I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed that God sneezed and I didn't know what to say. 3) My ex-girlfriend was so bad in bed that after we had sex, I drew a chalk outline around her. 4) My nephew has ADHD/HD. He can never sit still, but his picture quality is incredible. 5) Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Were did you get that?" The parrot says, "In Chicago, they're all over the place.".....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 19th: Minor changes to your driving style allows you to feel like you're a better driver. You're not, but it's the thought that counts. Today should be good for you but I wouldn't eat any seafood. Come to think of it, I wouldn't go near any body of water.
Birthdays: Thomas Browne, author and physician 1605, Edmund Beecher Wilson, zoologist 1856, Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown, baseball player 1876, Lewis Mumford, social philosopher 1895, Jack Anderson, newspaper columnist 1922, John le Carré, novelist 1931, John Lithgow, actor 1945, Philip Pullman, writer 1946, Evander Holyfield, boxer 1962.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: You may have heard the term "trophy wife (or girlfriend)." Ostensibly, if you're married or have a girlfriend, that's your "trophy." Of course, not everyone gets a first place trophy. In fact, some guys only get plaques, which I assume is better than "honorable mention." If you marry the neighborhood hoochie, you get a participation ribbon.
Similarly, it only stands to reason that some women have "trophy husbands." I have no idea what women would classify as a trophy, but I'm assuming that not being broke and having a job would have high priority in the definition.
My friend had a trophy girlfriend and almost married her. When he asked about her past, she said she'd only had two affairs. They broke up about a month later when he learned her two affairs were with the Baltimore Colts and the Green Bay Packers.
An older woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?" Her husband replied,"No, dear, not at all. Our house isn't blue."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "That my bike."
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians." The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire." They went on and on, then the Greek says, "We invented sex."
The Italian says, "That's true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
That's it for today, my little teeny boppers. Remember, laugh and the world laughs with you. Fart and you're on your own.
Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.
More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !