Steppin' Out

I remember when everyone "dressed" to go out to dinner and socialize on a weekend night. A sports coat or dress shirt and jeans are my choices, but people seem to be happy in shorts, t-shirt, a baseball hat and flip flops.

While I am not averse to casual dress for fast food places or sports bars, when I go out at night, I figure that the better you dress, the better you look. Perhaps the most important reason to dress is how it makes you feel.

In school, back in the day, few people wore sneakers. Those that did were usually "economically challenged." No one ever mentioned anything about the kid in sneakers as most of us were just thankful to have "dress" pants and "dress" shoes.

Yeah, the styles have changed, but I'm from the old school. I like to dress when I go out.....

The News As I See It: Hillary Clinton continues to distance herself from the Obama administration. In fact, Hillary just came out against Obama's Trans-Pacific Partnership Trade Agreement, also known as the TPP. That's weird, because when Obama asked Hillary if she was down with TPP, she said, "Yeah, you know me. A flip, flop, the flippy to the flippity, flip, flip, flip, flop, you don't stop . . ."

Hillary's 68th birthday is coming up this month, and to celebrate, Hillary is planning to hold a big fundraiser in New York City. Hillary's official birthday theme is "revenge."

Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday this week. He had a nice party, but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.

This Date In History: 1635; Religious dissident and Rhode Island founder, Roger Williams, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1888; For the first time the public was admitted to the Washington Monument.

1930; Aviator Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a solo transcontinental flight across the United States. 1967; Che Guevara was executed in Bolivia.

1975; Soviet scientist Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work to end the nuclear arms race.

Picture Of The Day: Yep......

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Caterpallor is defined as the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 2) If you die in an elevator, remember to push the Up button. 3) I'm starting to make the same noises that my coffee maker does. 4) Volvo, Video, Velcro: I came, I saw, I stuck around. 5) Despite their other contributions to our society, lawyers are still a great source of protein..... and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Libra - 9th: Today's date is an omen but I wouldn't fret about it. Go out and have a good time. Wear short sleeves and support your right to bare arms. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes and you will learn a lot today.

Birthdays: Camille Saint-Saens, composer 1835, Bruce Catton, historian 1899, John Lennon, singer, guitarist, songwriter 1940, Trent Lott, politician 1941, Jody Williams, activist 1950, Tony Shalhoub, actor 1953, Scott Bakula, actor, TV producer 1954, Annika Sorenstam, golfer 1970, Steve Burns, actor, musician 1973, Brandon Routh, actor 1979.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

The little boy asked, "Mommy, what are all those ladies doing?" His mother replied, "They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work."

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers. They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?" His mother answered, "They become cab drivers."

A man left work one Friday afternoon but, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the whole weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally got home Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was berated for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough so that he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

"A cheap red stripped tie with that suit? Really, Barry?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Jose and Carlos panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home about $100 a day, drives a Mercedes and lives in a big house.

Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do but you bring home $100 a day. How's that?" Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?" Carlos' sign reads "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support." Jose says, "No wonder you only get 2 to 3 dollars a day."

Carlos says, "So what does your sign say?" Jose shows Carlos his sign. It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico."

A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island for ten long years. One day he sees a ship on the horizon and starts waving his arms until the ship heads for the shore The captain of the ship and the man began talking, "I thought I'd never get rescued."

The captain asked, "How long have you been here?" The man replied, "Ten years." The captain asked, "How have you coped with all that time alone?" The man answered, "Well I'm a very resourceful fellow. I built a house, learned to hunt and fish."

The captain said, "But ten years without sex?" The man replied, "Not completely. About six months ago I was down here on the shore when I noticed an ostrich with it's head in the sand. I crept up behind it and....."

The captain gasped, "Oh you poor man, that must have been horrible." The man replied, "Well it was fine for the first five miles, but then we got out of step."

That's it for today, my little collie flowers. Remember, eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye. The down side is that you'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Have a terrific weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !