Plumber's Butt: The New Fashionable Image For Women?

The infamous plumber's butt crack, a sight that has given birth to countless jokes and stories, has new competition. Thousands of women now sport tattoos on their ass and the novelty (you'll pardon the expression) just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Plumber's Butt is the new fashionable cleavage for women.

Like most fads, the tattoo has become prominent among young people and the number of women who get tattoos continue to grow. An occasional small flower or sign has always looked sexy on women. Tattoos of the Sistine Chapel, however, slightly exceed those boundaries.

I very much appreciate women's bodies and a sexy tattoo place on a well shaped derriere is quite a sight. The problem, however, lies therein. Just like tight dresses, low cut pants and the ever popular thong, there are people who look good in that attire while on others, it might not be recommended.

The colloquial term for the strategically placed tattoo is a Tramp Stamp and the thing that I have noticed is that women wearing low rise jeans, thong panties and sporting these tattoos, is that they seem to forget what they're wearing when they bend over to pick up a child or stoop to get a product from a store. What looks good on some, looks pretty bad on others. It's sort of like looking at a Ferrari or a Ford van. Both are transportation, butt.....

It's somewhat of a game. The first women who decided that they wanted a tattoo branded on their ass were probably trend setters to a degree. What has ensued over the years is that every woman seems to think it's a brand new idea and follow suit (remember, you're unique...just like everybody else). Myself, I have taken the old childhood hobby of looking at the rear end of a car to see the tag and what state it's from and enhanced that thought a bit.

Some tattoos often have Asian lettering, ostensibly having some deep and thoughtful meaning or statement. Maybe women think that because their tattoo has Chinese characters, it's spiritual. Uh....it's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The truth is, many of the tattoos when translated say " Buy Toyota" or "Eat At Wong's Chinese Restaurant".....at least that's my theory.

Truth be told, I never got a tattoo and not because I don't like them. It's just the thought of being stuck with needles for no apparent reason never turned me on. Then again, I don't jump out of perfectly good running airplanes either.....

The News As I See It: Congratulations to Phil Mickelson in winning the Masters Championship for the third time. Mickelson, who took time off from golf to attend to his wife's current battle with breast cancer, won the tournament in spectacular fashion and grace. Tiger Woods' return to golf after taking time off to attend to his affairs did not seem to help him as his game and, oddly enough, his putter, got him into trouble. Imagine that.....

Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai is mad at the United States because we said his government is riddled with bribes, corruption, and pay-offs. I guess they’re trying to pass healthcare over there too. According to the Pentagon, al-Qaida has been so weakened financially that they’re turning to crimes like drugs, prostitution, and adjustable-rate mortgages.

An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a whole new use for the airsick bag.

This Date In History: 1861; The Civil War began when Fort Sumter was attacked. 1862; James J. Andrews led the raiding party that stole the Confederate locomotive "The General," inspiring the 1926; Buster Keaton movie.

1945; President Franklin Roosevelt died. 1955; The polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk was called "safe, effective, and potent." 1961; Soviet cosmonaut Yuri A. Gagari became the first human in space and also the first human to orbit the earth in a spacecraft. 1981; The first space shuttle, Columbia, took its first test flight.

1983; Harold Washington was elected Chicago’s first African-American mayor. 1999; Arkansas federal judge Susan Webber Wright found President Clinton in contempt of court for lying about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

Picture Of The Day: Some of these pictures just crack me up so I thought I'd let you take a gander (or a goose) at some of these works of art floating around the Internet.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A man was walking down the road and saw his Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing on his second floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. He shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?' 2) My buddy went to an extremely attractive female doctor for his annual checkup. She told him that he had to quit masturbating. He asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you." 3) People who stay in the middle of the road get run over. 4) There's no fool like an old fool, but the young ones are coming right along. 5) Today is the first day of the rest of your life -- Not exactly beginning with a bang, is it?.....and that's five !

Birthdays: My pal, Dr Marc. Happy Birthday my dear pal! 19XX, Henry Clay, American statesman 1777, William Martin Conway, English explorer, art historian 1856, Otto Meyerhof, physiologist 1884, Lily Pons, coloratura soprano 1904, Montserrat Caballé, singer 1933, Herbie Hancock, jazz musician 1940, Tom Clancy, novelist 1947, David Letterman, talk show host 1947.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An elderly couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" Her husband replied, "Yep, In-laws."

An old man was walking through the cemetery one morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. The old man said, "Morning." The other man replied, "No, just taking a shit."

It was a slow afternoon at the drug store and the pharmacist saw an old woman walk into the drugstore. The old woman sashayed up to the counter and asked, "Do you sell extra large condoms?"The pharmacist replied, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"The old woman said, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Victor for his contribution to today's stories.

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war. He says, "In 1942, the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these two fokkers appeared. I looked up, and right above me was one of them and I shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me."

At this moment, the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company" The pilot says, "That's true, but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidt's."

A Mexican naval ship and American authorities off the coast of San Diego exchanged radio conversations one night. The Americans radioed, "Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision. The Mexicans radioed back, "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision." The Americans responded, " Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

The Mexicans immediately said, "This is the Captain Gomez of the Mexican Navy warship. I say again, divert your course. The Americans responded, "No. I say again, you divert your course."

The Mexican ship said, "This is the Mexican warship Pancho Villa, the second largest ship in our fleet. We are accompanied by three support war vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. The Americans responded, "This is a lighthouse.....your call, Jose!"

A Unites States Marine walked the entire length of a train looking for a seat, but a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle took the only seat remaining. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog."Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" The next time the Marine didn't say a word. He just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American In his place !"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

That's it for today my little petunias. Remember, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos! More on Monday.

Stay Tuned !