Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Remember Our Veterans Tomorrow !

Veterans Day is tomorrow, November 11 and I'd like to thank and remember all of the men and women, both past and present, who have valiantly served America throughout the years. Please remember our troops and God Bless America!

Just one week after House Democrats were swept out of power, Speaker Nancy Pelosi is hosting a reception today "honoring the accomplishments of the 111th Congress." Did I miss something?

It's a bird. It's a plane. Actually, it's a plane. At least that's what experts and the military seem to be saying about Tuesday's scare over what initially looked like a mystery missile spotted off the coast of Los Angeles. The Northern Aerospace Defense Command already weighed in Tuesday, saying the unexplained contrail posed no threat to the nation.

NORAD did not speculate on what the source of the missile-looking contrail might come from. Now, experts are saying why it's highly likely that what a helicopter camera crew captured on camera was a plane, not a missile. Nice to know that it takes more than 24 hours for someone to have a clue.

The News As I See It: Nancy Pelosi says she will seek to become the House minority leader. Who better to be the minority leader than the person who led their party to become the minority.

President Obozo is touring Asia making trade deals. He signed a $10 billion pact with India, brokered a deal to make India part of the Security Council, got his laptop fixed and got a $15 late fee removed from his Visa card. Obozo went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He’s going to keep traveling until he finds his birth certificate.

Keith Olbermann was suspended from MSNBC for giving money to Democratic candidates. If only he had given his money to prostitutes, like Eliot Spitzer, he would have a primetime show on CNN.

Hundreds of people in Washington, D.C. reported seeing a U.F.O. on Monday. I've got news for the Aliens. If you’re searching for intelligent life, you’ve got the wrong town.

Apple just launched its online store in China. Apple said this is an exciting opportunity to sell iPods to the kids who make them.

This Date In History: 1871; Journalist and explorer Henry Stanley found the missing David Livingstone in Central Africa and made his famous comment, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 1928; Hirohito was crowned Emperor of Japan.

1951; The first long distance telephone call without operator assistance took place. 1969; Sesame Street premiered on PBS TV. 1970; The Great Wall of China opened to the world for tourism. 1982; The Vietnam Veterans Memorial opened in Washington, DC.

Picture Of The Day: Remembering the soldiers, past and present, who served or are serving this nation.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. 2) Home is a place where part of the family waits 'till the rest of the family brings the car back. 3) Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time. 4) Some days it feels like the whole world is a tuxedo and I'm a pair of brown shoes. 5) If you think a sweet little 80-year-old lady would never say the F word, just let another sweet little 80-year-old lady yell BINGO!.....and that's five !

Birthdays: My niece, Sommer. Happy Birthday baby girl! 19XX, Martin Luther, German leader of the Protestant Reformation 1483, William Hogarth, painter, satirist, engraver 1697, Oliver Goldsmith, author 1730, Samuel Gridley Howe, reformer and philanthropist 1801, Claude Rains, actor 1889.

J. P. Marquand, novelist 1893, Richard Burton, actor 1925, Russell Means, activist, actor 1939, Donna Fargo, singer 1945, Ann Reinking, dancer, choreographer, and actor 1949, Roland Emmerich, filmmaker 1955, Neil Gaiman, writer 1960 Brittany Murphy, actor 1977.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A man fell asleep on the beach. He woke up several hours later and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs and was taken to the closest hospital, which happened to be a U.S. Naval Hospital. His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister. Anything that touched his legs caused agony.

The lead on the medical staff at the naval hospital, that night, was a Chief Corpsman, in the emergency room. The Chief checked him out and then prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water, electrolytes, a mild sedative, and Viagra. Rather astounded, the 3rd class corpsman, who was with the Chief inquired, "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" The Chief replied, "It'll keep the sheet off his legs."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. The officer barked, "You idiot! Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

The solder answered apologetically, "Yes sir, but, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, 'Let's eat one now and save the other until winter', that did it."

In a radio conversation between a Mexican naval ship and American authorities off the coast of San Diego, the American operator said, "Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision." The Mexican naval ship replied, "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision."

The American operator radioed, "Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision." The Mexican naval ship replied, "This is the Captain of a Mexican Navy ship. I say again, divert your course." The Americans responded, "No. I say again, you divert your course."

The Mexican ship radioed, "This is the Mexican warship Pancho Villa, the largest ship in the Mexican fleet. I demand that you change your course or counter-measures will be taken to insure the safety of this ship!" The Americans responded, "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. His father asked, "So, did you jump?"

The son said, "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane! Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." The father said, "So, that's when you jumped?"

The son said, "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass." His father said, "So, did you jump?" The son said, "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed on to the door and refused to go."

The son continued, "Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, 'No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this baby up where the sun doesn't shine.'" The father asked, "So, did you jump?" The son replied, "Well, a little, at first."

That's it for today my little puppy dogs. Remember, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him wear swim trunks. Think I'll head over to AREA 51 for Happy Hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Frances said...

You forgot a very important birthday today, Jimmy. Miranda Lambert, country singer from Lindale, Texas, and engaged to Blake Shelton has a birthday today. I don't know what year she was born, though. Maybe she will win a 'wagon-load' of trophies at the CMA to celebrate.

jack69 said...

Thanks Jimmy, for your service.


Paula said...

Thank you and all the men and women who have served our country in the past and present. We will be flying our flag tomorrow. God Bless America.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Hi Jimmy,
I salute YOU as a Veteran too. I can't say the words, "Happy Veterans'Day" because a few of my buddies are on the Wall in D.C., and that only makes me sad.... but I always try to tell other Vet's, 'WELCOME HOME !'

Tom Schuckman
Disabled Vietnam Veteran: 68-70

kbear said...

THANKS Jimmy for serving our country!

Janice said...

God Bless our men & women in uniform past & present

Love the comment about Nancy Pelosi and Eliot Spitzer.