Monday, November 4, 2013
The Natural Beauty Of Waterfalls
Since I was a kid, every time I got near caves or waterfalls, I investigated or explored them. Obviously, growing up in Miami, there weren't too many opportunities although oddly enough, there are several sites around town that have curious and interesting limestone formations.
Fortunately, I have family and friends throughout the South and there are enough waterfalls and caves to keep you busy for a lifetime.
This week, I will be concentrating on several of these beauties of nature and relate some of my experiences camping in the mountains and exploring the caves, mountains, streams and waterfalls of the south.
The News As I See It: I hope you all had a fun Halloween. I'm just couldn't get into the Halloween spirit. I just turned on the electric fence and went to bed early.
The Obamas gave out dried fruit to more than 5,000 trick-or-treaters. In a related story, today workers outside the White House had to sweep up a bunch of dried fruit.
Six kids showed up for Halloween with no costumes at all, just dressed like ordinary people. They said, "We're the six people who signed up for Obamacare on the first day."
According to CBS News, only six people enrolled in Obamacare on the first day of the rollout. Six! That means more people have walked on the moon than have signed up for Obamacare.
The White house said that the number six is not official. Really? Not official? If we wait it could go as high as seven?
Did everybody remember to set your clocks back one hour? You might think you're gaining an hour, but trying to get the clock back on that nail actually makes you lose an hour.
Friday was World Vegan Day. It’s the day we're all supposed to think about a vegan diet.....! There! I thought about it. It's not for me. Vegans can't eat eggs. They can't eat dairy. From what I've seen, they can't even shave their legs. Ozzy Osbourne recently started a vegan diet. Right now up in animal heaven, there's a bat without a head saying, "Oh, so now he's vegan."
Obama's Facebook account was hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army. When Obama found out about this, he said, "Can you guys fix the Obamacare website?"
This Date In History: 1842; Abraham Lincoln married Mary Todd in Springfield, Ill. 1880; James and John Ritty of Dayton, Ohio, patented the first cash register. 1922; Howard Carter discovered the tomb of Tutankhamen in Egypt.
1924; Nellie T. Ross of Wyoming was elected the nation's first woman governor, to serve out the term of her husband who died in office. 1956; Russian troops attacked Budapest and crushed the Hungarian revolt under Premier Imre Nagy.
1979; The American embassy in Tehran, Iran, was seized by militants and 90 Americans were taken hostage. 1995; Israeli Prime Minister, and Nobel Laureate, Yitzhak Rabin, was assassinated by a right-wing Israeli.
2008; Democratic senator Obama wins the presidential election against Sen. John McCain, taking 338 electoral votes to McCain's 161. Obama makes history as the first mixed race U.S. president.
Picture Of The Day: As I mentioned in Friday's post, I'm fascinated by caves and waterfalls. If my mind allows me to remember, maybe we'll do some cave pictures on Wednesday.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A cop pulled me over and said. ''Papers...'' So I said, ''Scissors, I win!'' and drove off like a boss! 2) (Cashier): "Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow." (Me): "Cool, I'll check with my family to see of they can hold it." 3) It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching, but it turned out to be 500 bees on a bicycle. 4) People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder. 5) Miami Police have found a head, hands and a foot in the river. There are no theories yet, but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - November 4th: Sid may be a lucky name for you this week. Sid may be a fighter pilot and he may be able to hook you up with anyone you like because he's just "that" connected. I think the name is "Sid".....now I'm unsure. What rhymes with "Sid"?
Birthdays: My good friend and ski instructor Donna - Happy Birthday Baby 19XX, Will Rogers actor, humorist 1879, Harry George Ferguson, inventor 1884, Walter Cronkite, news broadcaster 1916, Art Carney, actor 1918, Loretta Swit, actress 1937, Laura Bush, First Lady 1946, Matthew McConaughey, actor 1969, Matthew McConaughey, actor 1969.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: One day, while doing door-to-door market research, A man knocked on a door and was greeted by a beautiful young housewife. The researcher said, "Hello, I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?"
The woman answered, "Yes. My husband and I use it during sex." The researcher was taken aback. He said, "Um, I admire you for your honesty. Can you tell me exactly how you use it?" The woman replied, "Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in."
At the end of the 2012 tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the Chief Financial Officer and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
The CFO replied, "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll."The auditor replied, "Oh", disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
The auditor asked, "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast?" The CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him, "Ah yes, we save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster." The auditor answered, "I see."
The auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO, went on, "What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" The CFO answered, "Here, too, we do not waste. What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office and about once a year, they send us a complete dick."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
The zebra was so excited, she got to see this huge space with green grass and hills and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi, I'm a zebra! What are you?" The brown thing said, "I'm a cow." The zebra asked, "Right, and what do you do?" The cow said, "I make milk for the farmer." The zebra said, "Cool."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?" The white thing said, "I'm a chicken." The zebra said, "Oh. What do you do?" The chicken said, "I make eggs for the farmer." The zebra replied, "Right, great, see ya round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?" The beast said, "I am a Stallion," The zebra said, "Wow, what do you do?" The stallion said, "Take off your pajamas, darling and I'll show you."
A loving grandfather always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time - just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she'd take their granddaughter for the drive.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. He asked, "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" His granddaughter replied, "Oh, yes, Grandpa, it was really wonderful. We didn't see a single asshole, blind bastard, dipshit or son-of-a-bitch anywhere we went!"
That's it for today, my little licorice sticks.. Remember, if you ever get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen".
More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !