Friday, December 6, 2013

It's Been A Rough Week

Nelson Mandela died Thursday night at age 95 at his home in Johannesburg, surrounded by family, according to South African President Jacob Zuma. Dressed in black, Zuma announced Mandela's death in a nationally televised address, saying, "Our nation has lost its greatest son. Our people have lost a father. Although we knew that this day would come, nothing can diminish our sense of a profound and enduring loss."

National leaders and ordinary citizens around the world joined Thursday in mourning Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years as a prisoner in South Africa for opposing apartheid, then emerged to become his country's first black president, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize and an enduring symbol of integrity, principle and resilience.

Mandela had spent almost three months in a Pretoria hospital after being admitted in June with a recurring lung infection. Zuma said the man considered by many as the father of his nation would be accorded a full state funeral. Rest in peace Mr. Mandela.

On December 7th, 1941, the nation of Japan made the fatal mistake of bombing Pearl Harbor killing 2,402 and injuring 1,402 Americans. This deliberate action woke a sleeping giant and Japan surrendered in defeat after two atomic bombs were dropped on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.

Please take the time tomorrow to remember the dead and wounded in this devastating attack and remember the heroes, both past and present of the United States armed forces.

White House press secretary Jay Carney said on Thursday that President Barack Obama did briefly stay with his illegal immigrant uncle while attending Harvard Law School in the 1980s. This is a contradiction of what the White House told reporters in 2011, asserting Obama did not know his uncle....oops !

The president’s uncle, Onyango "Omar" Obama, 69, said at a deportation hearing this week that Obama stayed with him when the president was a student at Harvard. The uncle was arrested for drunk driving in 2011 and faced deportation after living in the United States for five decades. The judge decided to let the Kenyan national remain in the United States. Pinocchio is alive and well.....period !

The News As I See It: Obamacare is still struggling to get off the ground. Experts now say the success or failure of Obamacare will depend on whether young people sign up. Which is why as of today it covers medical marijuana.

At a White House holiday party, the Obama's dog, Sonny, reportedly knocked over a small child. So although President Obama's approval rating is down to 40 percent, he's now number one on YouTube.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford reiterated that he should be re-elected mayor of Toronto because he saves taxpayers money. I think he should be re-elected because he's hilarious and because I don't live in Toronto.

NSA collects almost 5 billion records a day that can pinpoint a cellphone anywhere in the world, track its movements, and map the personal relationships of the person using it. I'll tell you what this means. You know the crazy people that wear the tinfoil hats because they think the government is tracking them? Turns out they were right. How is it possible that they can track every cellphone in the world but can't build a healthcare website? Maybe they should put the NSA in charge of Obamacare.

This Date In History: 1884; Construction of the Washington Monument was completed. 1889; Jefferson Davis, the first and only president of the Confederate States of America, died in New Orleans.

1923; A presidential address was broadcast on the radio for the first time when Calvin Coolidge spoke before Congress. 1926; French impressionist painter Claude Monet died at age 86. 1973; Gerald Ford was sworn in as vice president, replacing Spiro T. Agnew.

1992; The destruction of a mosque in India by Hindu extremists set off two months of Muslim-Hindu fighting that claimed at least 2,000 lives. 1998; Hugo Chavez elected president of Venezuela.

Picture Of The Day: The USS West Virginia under siege in Pearl Harbor, December 7th, 1941.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I have done hundreds of crossword puzzles over the years, but just this morning I noticed they also provide clues. 2) (Her): "Have you ever been so drunk that you....." (Me): "Yes". (Her): "But I didn't finish..... (Me): "The answer is yes....." 3) A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos. 4) My friend's uncle was found wandering aimlessly in the shoe department at Sears. He's glad because his uncle wore Crocs to his wedding in 2006. 5) Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got into their house.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagitarius - December 6th: Be grateful that you have a good network of friends and family. Even if you lose a few friends, you still have your family....except maybe Uncle Frank.

Birthdays: My niece, Kimberly - Happy Birthday sweetheart 19XX, Jean Eugene Robert Houdin. conjurer and magician 1805, Joyce Kilmer. poet 1886, Ira Gershwin. lyricist 1896, Gunnar Myrdal. economist 1898, Agnes Moorehead. actress 1906, Eleanor Holm, swimmer 1913, Dave Brubeck, American jazz pianist and composer 1920, Patsy Takemoto Mink, U.S. representative 1927.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head, fired a shot into the ceiling and yelled, "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" No one answered.

He yelled, "All right, I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm going to do what I did in Texas. And I don't want to have to do what I did in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The cowboy had another beer, walked outside and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

 A man's wife texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Her husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." The wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really screwed up now."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, I would like a Martusi." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. She then said, "Barbender, I would like another Martusi." Again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on.

She called, "Barbender, your Martusis are giving me heartburn." Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martusi, but a Martini and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray."

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood, knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." The man said, "There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

The man said, "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." The priest asked, "And what is that, my son?" The man said, "Should I tell her the war is over?"

That's it for today, my little buttercups. Remember, John 3:16, Matthew 3:17, Luke 3:18. It was a very close race. I''ll be in AREA 51 tonight for happy hour.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

Good opening, I respected Mandela. Iused to respect Obama's uncle, until he admitted he allowed Barry to live with him.
You will notice that the only liar in that story is 'The White House'. I didn't even know it talked.

What a question, should I tell her the war is over. You can always tell her tomorrow.
Nite from Mickey's world on up the Turnpike...

Rose said...

Happy Weekend Buttercup!