Saturday, December 14, 2013

Late Friday Edition

The fact-checking organization PolitiFact declared Barack Obama's "If you like your health care plan, you can keep it" as the "Lie of the Year" on Thursday. "It was a catchy political pitch and a chance to calm nerves about his dramatic and complicated plan to bring historic change to America’s health insurance system," the editors of the Tampa Bay Times side project wrote in their announcement, "but the promise was impossible to keep."

The oft-repeated promise came under intense criticism after NBC News reported in late October that at least half of the approximately 14 million Americans with individual insurance were set to have their health plans shut down by insurers under Obamacare.

Obama ultimately gave in to the pressure and changed the law to fulfill the promise in mid-November. Announcing the decision on CNN's "The Lead with Jake Tapper," PolitiFact editor Angie Drobnic Holan said the political significance of the remark, which Obama made on at least 37 different occasions, was a key factor in their decision.

Runners-up for Lie of the Year included statements from Ann Coulter, Representative Michele Bachmann and Senator Ted Cruz. The perennial "The check's in the mail" and "I promise I won't....." received honorable mention

The News As I See It: Everybody reported on the fake sign language interpreter at the Nelson Mandela memorial. Turns out that he was not a fake but a violent schizophrenic who was hallucinating that angels were flying into the stadium. So at least there's a simple explanation for what went wrong. For a minute I thought there might have been some kind of security problem.

The annual list that ranks states based on how healthy they are, the healthiest U.S. state is Hawaii. Mississippi finished 50th out of the 50 states, which isn't surprising. Healthy eating is not big in Mississippi. Their state bird is the fried chicken.

Due to inflation, a cup of coffee in Russia costs $8.30. In other words, they now have Starbucks in Russia.

Obama released a video this week to encourage kids to learn how to write computer code. Then he said, "Preferably, in the next two or three weeks. It would really help me out of this enrollment jam."

This Date In History: 1642; New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 1918; President Wilson arrived in France, becoming the first U.S. president to visit Europe while in office. 1978; The U.S. Mint began stamping the Susan B. Anthony dollar, the first U.S. coin honoring a woman.

1981; The Polish government imposed martial law in an attempt to crush the Solidarity movement. 1989; South African President F. W. de Klerk met with Nelson Mandela for the first time. 1996; Kofi Annan of Ghana chosen to become UN secretary-general.

2000; George W. accepted presidency 36 days after election; Al Gore, Jr., conceded. 2003; American forces captured Saddam Hussein who was hiding in a hole near his hometown of Tikrit.

Picture Of The Day: Pinocchio Obama is like the Energizer Bunny. He just keeps lying and lying and lying....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Condoms cannot guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband. 2) A guy broke into my house last week. He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now the sick bastard drives by and changes the channels. 3) One of the advantages of being a man is that chocolate doesn't control you. Disadvantage: Sex does. Relevance: Chocolate is easier to get. 4) I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down. 5) I shouted "Run, Forrest, run", but the trees just stood there, frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all......except for Crazy Larry and Wild Root Cream Oil Charlie......and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeSagittarius - December 13th: Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining. Oil in your lamp may keep you burning till the break of day or it could spill over and set fire to your new shoes. The odds are on your side today, so don't be afraid to experiment.

Birthdays: My friends Janelle and Jay - Happy Birthday 19XX, Heinrich Heine, poet 1797, Werner von Siemens, electrical engineer and inventor 1816,  Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of Abraham Lincoln 1818, Archie Moore, prizefighter 1913, Ross Macdonald, novelist 1915, Dick Van Dyke, actor 1925, Ted Nugent, rock musician 1948, Steve Buscemi, actor 1957, Jamie Foxx actor, 1967, Amy Lee, singer 1981.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.

The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year. The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.

This decision is not based on religious reasons - they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

 A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." The woman screamed, "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" The drunk muttered, "Funny, you even sound like her."

That's it for today, my little puppy dogs. Remember, from now on non fiction and fiction books shall be referred to as "Fo Reals" and "Not Fo Reals".

Have a terrific weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Imma guessing he will place that award beside his Nobel Prize to prove he deserved at least ONE AWARD.
Good read.
I had no problem with the sign language, I just assumed he was interpreting in Swahili.