Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Obama Flirts As Michelle Stews At Mandela Memorial
Tuesday's memorial for Nelson Mandela produced some interesting side stories, including Obama shaking hands with Raul Castro. The best story was when Obama, et al, took a "selfie" at the service as Michelle Obama stewed. Hey, what says "class" more than taking selfies at a funeral?
Obama was caught committing a funeral faux pas — snapping a selfie during Nelson Mandela’s memorial service with Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt and British PM David Cameron. The threesome smiled as the Scandinavian beauty held her smartphone out to capture the moment but Michelle Obama sat at a distance.
Danish Thorning-Schmidt, who is married to British executive Stephen Kinnock, appeared particularly chummy with Obama but Michelle Obama, 49, seemed annoyed at the mingling, looking solemn as she stared intently in the opposite direction and paid attention to the proceedings.
As Obama laughed away with the blonde Danish leader, at least one photograph shows Michelle flash a disapproving glare in their direction. Thorning-Schmidt, who has two daughters with Kinnock, is the first female prime minister of Denmark. She assumed office in October 2011.
Yep, Obama flirted with the blonde female prime minister of Denmark right in front of Michelle Obama. Man, if Obama felt that the flight to South Africa was long, can you imagine the way home?
Maybe Obama was thinking, "Hell, if Kanye West can score with a white chick...." On the other hand, maybe the blonde Helle had heard the rumor, "Once you go black....(you can't get credit)"
Boy are you in trouble, Barry......!
The News As I See It: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are among Barbara Walters' "10 most fascinating people of 2013." In a related story, Barbara has been named one of the "10 most easily fascinated people of 2013."
The current winter storm has left thousands without electricity. Because of the snowstorm, nobody can get to the unemployment office. It's as if Obama had taken over the power companies.
Most of the country continues to be in a deep freeze. It's so cold that in Texas, people were crossing back into Mexico for the warmth.
Last week, a man was locked in an airplane for several hours after he fell asleep during a flight and nobody woke up him up when it landed. But other than that, Joe Biden had a great trip to Asia.
Did you see the recent showing of "The Sound of Music”? It was the most exciting live TV event since Matt Lauer's on-air prostate examination.
North Korea has confirmed that Kim Jong Un has fired his uncle. Unemployment benefits in North Korea include two weeks' severance and not being shot.
New Jersey legislators want to ban eating while driving. Good luck getting Governor Chris Christie to sign that one.
A man in China committed suicide at a shopping mall by jumping seven stories to his death after his girlfriend said she wanted to visit just one more shoe store. The guy couldn’t take it — talk about "shop 'til you drop"!
This Date In History: 1816; Indiana became the 19th state. 1844; Nitrous oxide was used for the first time in dentistry. 1936; King Edward VIII abdicated the throne of Britain for the woman he loved, Mrs. Wallis Simpson.
1941; Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 1946; The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF) was established.
1994; Russian troops invaded Chechnya in an unsuccessful attempt to restore Moscow's power in the region. 1997; Housing secretary Henry Cisneros was indicted for conspiracy, obstructing justice, and false statements to the FBI.
Picture Of The Day: Obama flirts with pretty blonde Denmark prime minister as Michelle develops a case of the "ass".
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Some lady in Walgreens was staring at me like she had never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf. 2) My girlfriend would get lost less frequently if her GPS would say, "No, your other left." 3) A six year old boy was recently kicked out of school and suspended for kissing a girl's hand. I glad all these laws are being passed now. When I was six years old, I was not a licensed physician, so I would have been doing hard time by the fourth grade. 4) Whenever a friends says "Join the gym with me", I say, "Come to church with my Mom and me." Shuts ‘em up every time. 5) Anytime I see a motorcyclist recklessly weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks I always root for the pavement.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 11th: Your brain is overflowing with truly brilliant ideas. Focus on making your dreams a reality. The future holds many wonderful things, however, many of them exclude you in their plans. A romantic hotel break may be just the thing to spark up your love life this weekend. Bring someone with you this time.....
Birthdays: My friend Teddy - Happy Birthday 19XX, Sir David Brewster, physicist and natural philosopher 1781, Louis-Hector Berlioz, composer 1803, Robert Koch, bacteriologist 1843, Annie Jump Cannon, astronomer 1863, Fiorello Henry LaGuardia, mayor of New York City 1882, Naguib Mahfouz, novelist 1911, Carlo Ponti, producer 1912, Willie Mae Thornton, blues singer 1926, John F. Kerry, politician 1943.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An 8-year-old girl asks her father, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father is somewhat surprised that she would ask such a question. But, he reckons if she's old enough to ask the question, then surely she's old enough for a straight answer.
So, the father proceeds to tell his young daughter all about the "birds and the bees." After a brief explanation, the little girl appears wide-eyed in disbelief.
The father asks, "By the way, dear, why do you ask?" The little girl replies, "Mommy told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
A baby was born with the ability to talk. The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?" His mother replied, "Why, yes! I am!" The baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born."
Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my doctor?" The doctor answered, "Yes, I am!" The baby says, "Well, I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me during the delivery." The doctor says, "You're very welcome."
The baby looks around the room and says, "Hey, are you my father?" Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!" The baby says, "Come here for a minute. I want to show you something. Bend down." The father complies. The baby starts poking him in the forehead and says, "How does that feel?!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So, he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It was a 20 yard hole-in-one!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
A man's wife wife had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on the toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while his wife was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.
As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat. About that time, her husband got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, he took off the toilet seat bolts.
His wife wrapped a sheet around herself and he drove her to the hospital emergency room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. the wife tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."
That's it for today, my little chipmunks. Remember, the Obamacare Bronze Plan is the cheapest plan. Bronze was chosen because that's the color your fingers will be after you're forced to do your own prostate exam because of the costs. I'm going to AREA 51 for Happy Hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !