Wednesday, December 2, 2015

14 Dead, 17 Wounded In California Shooting

More than 14 people were killed and 17 others were wounded today in a mass shooting in San Bernadino. As of 8 pm (EST), police have stopped the vehicle and two of the suspects are dead. A third suspect is still unaccounted for.

The dark colored SUV was stopped by police and a barrage of bullets blew out all the windows in the vehicle, killing two of the three suspects. The vehicle was stopped about a mile from the original crime scene.

One of the suspects is believed to have been in the original meeting where the shootings occurred and left angrily.

One shooter is dead on the street and the other shooter is dead in the SUV

Obama, as usual and without any solid information as to the details of the mass shooting, immediately responded, "We should never think that this is something that just happens in the ordinary course of events, because it doesn't happen with the same frequency in other countries."

This is true unless you count the two mass shootings in France this year, among others. Obama is quick on the draw when it comes to gun control with the exception of his hometown of Chicago, the murder capital of the world.

As a public service, Jimmy's Journal would like to explain how to understand and resolve the problems with the federal debt ceiling.

Let's say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceiling. What do you think you should do?

Raise the ceiling or pump out the shit? Your choice is coming next November.

The News As I See It: It cracks me up when people say, "If Trump becomes president, I'm leaving the country." No you won't. Delta doesn't take EBT cards.

This Date In History: 1804; Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned emperor of France in Paris by Pope Pius VII. 1823; President James Monroe outlined his famous doctrine opposing European expansion in the Western Hemisphere.

1859; Abolitionist John Brown was hanged for his raid on Harper's Ferry. 1942; The first controlled nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated at the University of Chicago.

1954; The Senate voted to condemn Republican senator Joseph R. McCarthy of Wisconsin for "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute." 1970; The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) was established.

1982; Barney B. Clark became the first person to receive an artificial heart in a transplant operation. 1988; Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as the Prime Minister of Pakistan, becoming the first woman to head an Muslim nation.

1990; Composer Aaron Copland died at age 90. 1999; A Protestant and Catholic cabinet convened for the first time in Northern Ireland. 2001; Enron Corp., under CEO Kenneth Lay, filed for bankruptcy.

Picture Of The Day: Swat teams surge to the area.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years. 2) Did you know that deer live an average of 15 years in the wild, but can live up to 87 in a condominium? 3) Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car. 4) Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction. 5) My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except for one song.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 2nd: When taking out the trash, remember that blood stains don't easily wash out of white shirts. Wake up in a trash-can again? Don't let your drinking get you down. Go out and have a beer.

Birthdays: Maria Callas, soprano 1923, Alexander Haig, general 1924, Julie Harris, actress 1925, Gianni Versace, fashion designer 1946, Lucy Liu, actress, model 1968, Monica Seles, tennis player 1973, Nelly Furtado, singer 1978, Britney Spears, pop singer 1981.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns?"

The other man said, "Do you mean a rose?" The man said, "Yes, that's the one." He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. Johnny said, "Why do you do that, mommy?" His mother replied, "To make myself beautiful."

His mother then began removing the cream with a tissue. Little Johnny said, "What's the matter? Giving up?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Skip for his contribution to today's stories.

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while he waited and so, since he didn't live far from the shop, he decided to walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped at the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he had a problem. How to carry his entire purchases home.

The feed store owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" The biker said, "Hey, thanks!" and out the door he went.

In the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost and asked if he could tell her the way to 1603 Mockingbird Lane. The biker said, "As a matter of fact, I live on Mockingbird Lane. We can take a short cut down this alley and be there in no time".

The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt and ravish me?"

The biker said, "Holy smoke, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in Hell could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?"

The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

He found a Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a "Vote for Obama" hat and a "Save the Trees" shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 800-pound grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing "Go Trump" shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest.

The two men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Four of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while another placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him and proclaimed, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions! I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was the guy in the beanie?" Another replied, "Dude, that was the Pope. He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

The logger said, "Well, he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know shit about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Chicago and get another one?"

That's it for today, my little elves. Remember, marriage is betting someone half of your stuff that you'll love them forever. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Sad report up front. But I did enjoy the entry. I like the bait idea! Probably works for alligator also.