Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The CNN Presidential Debate

Surprisingly, CNN was not its usual, snarky left self. For the most part, the candidates made their respective cases, with the exception of John Kasich, whose only topic seems to be what he did as governor of Ohio (ala Giuliani of New York).

I was pleased to see the group unify in their remarks about the "chosen one", who is doing his best to run America into the ground, while doing nothing about radical Islamic terrorism. Hillary Clinton's name only came up a few times but the candidates know that, with her plethora of lies over the years, she'll be easy pickings.

There were a few feisty barbs between Jeb Bush and Trump, as well as, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, all of which were fairly good exchanges.

I expect to see many of the candidates drop out by the South Carolina vote, namely Chris Christie, Carly Fiorina, Rand Paul, Lindsay Graham, Mike Huckabee and John Kasich. Those candidates that choose to remain in the race after that time probably still have contribution funds remaining in their accounts.

Christian Mingle: Find God's match for you. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways and I'm positive that setting up a website for his people to hook up is a top priority.

The News As I See It: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West say they will have no more children. When asked why, they said, "All the really stupid names are taken."

The international climate talks in Paris wrapped up this weekend with 195 countries reaching a landmark agreement to cut greenhouse gas emissions. Then they all drove to the airport in 195 cars.

Hillary Clinton has been responding to Donald Trump's comments about banning Muslims with a message of love, and said she wants to "weed out hate" and "plant love and kindness" instead. Then Bill went in for a kiss and Hillary was like, "Not now. Later. I'm talking to the people."

This Date In History: 1653; Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, Scotland, and Ireland. 1773; The Boston Tea Party took place. 1916; Grigori Rasputin assassinated by a group of noble Russian conspirators.

1920; One of the deadliest earthquakes in history hit the Gansu province in China. The 8.6 quake killed 200,000 people. 1944; The Battle of the Bulge during World War II began in Belgium.

1990; Jean-Bertrand Aristide was elected president of Haiti in the country's first democratic elections. 2000; Colin Powell was selected to become the first African-American secretary of state.

Picture Of The Day: The candidates.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I've removed swimming with dolphins from my bucket list, mainly because I don't swim well and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal. 2) If a tree falls in the woods, it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose. 3) My grandma keeps talking about her monthly government checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper. 4) Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support. 5) A cute bank teller told me she wanted to make love to me in the vault. She's kinky, but at least she's into safe sex.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 16th: You may hear a voice in your ear saying that you are here for a purpose. Don't pay any attention to the voice, they meant to say porpoise. That is, unless you're from Miami, in which case, take heed.

Birthdays: Ludwig van Beethoven, German Composer 1770, Jane Austen, novelist 1775, George Santayana,  philosopher and poet 1863, Zoltán Kodály, composer 1882, Noel Coward, playwright, composer 1899, Margaret Mead, anthropologist 1901, Arthur C. Clarke, science fiction writer 1917, Philip K. Dick, writer 1928, Benjamin Bratt, actor 1963.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two older women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.

One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket."

Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to last night's big date. Charlie asks, "So, how did it go, Harry?"

Harry said, "The moment we got back to her place the phone started ringing. There must have been fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her out. It never stopped, and we never got started."

Charlie tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry. After all, an attractive young woman's allowed to have her number in the phone book, now isn't she?"

Harry said, "Yeah, but not in the Yellow Pages."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a huge buck.

One of the other hunters asked, "Where's Harry?" The man said, "He fell over a log a couple miles up the trail and broke his ankle."

The other hunter said, "You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?" The hunter answered, "It was a tough decision, but I figured no one was going to steal Harry."

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."

The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your big fat ass?" She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."

That's it for today, my little candy canes. Remember, dandelions are just like regular lions, except they wear ascots and lisp. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

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