Friday, December 4, 2015
Tasfeen Malik Pledged Allegiance To ISIS Prior To Murders
FBI officials have confirmed that the mass shootings in San Bernadino was an act of terror, a fact that everyone in America already knew. Obama has been notified via his usual sources, Facebook and Twitter.
The FBI is also investigating whether Pakistan-born Tashfeen Malik radicalized her husband Syed Farook in the two years after their marriage. Reports are that the 27-year-old Malik also pledged allegiance to the leader of ISIS on Facebook before the couple went on the killing spree.
Prior to this afternoon's announcement, Obama had said that it was possible that the attack, where 14 people were killed and 17 others injured, was terrorist related. He said, "It is also possible this was workplace-related. We don’t know why they did it."
Clearly, Obama is an idiot who is quick to call "racism" when a Black is killed yet does not have the balls to call these assholes radical Islamic terrorists. I guess he doesn't want to offend his relatives.
The News As I See It: Donald Trump said that he may skip the next Republican debate on CNN unless the network pays him $5 million. But CNN said, "We don't have $5 million. We'll just let Jeb Bush talk for two hours.... Oh my God, where do we send the check?"
In an interview with Charlie Rose, Hillary Clinton admitted that she has Wall Street connections, but said that she can't be bribed with campaign donations. Then Hillary said, "And especially they can't bribe me at Hillary for America, P.O. Box 526, New York, New York, don't even think of sending money there, this weekend."
Yahoo reports that among its top searches of the year are Minecraft and the Kardashian family. Both of them were searched under the phrase, "two-dimensional, brightly colored tools."
Last year, a man was able to get past the Secret Service and speak with Obama by pretending to be a congressman. The Secret Service realized he wasn’t a congressman because he was willing to be seen with Obama.
This Date In History: 1783; George Washington delivered his farewell address to his officers at Fraunces Tavern in New York City. 1816; James Monroe of Virginia was elected (by electors) the fifth president of the United States.
1875; William Marcy "Boss" Tweed of New York's Tammany Hall escaped from jail and fled the country. 1945; The Senate approved U.S. participation in the United Nations. 1978; Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first female mayor.
1991; Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson is released after seven years as a hostage in Lebanon. 1993; Rock musician and composer Frank Zappa died at age 52. 2003; Interpol put the former president of Liberia, Charles Taylor, on its most-wanted list.
Picture Of The Day: This week, during Obama's continuing rhetoric about climate change (formerly known as global warming), the chosen one mentioned rising seas and fish swimming in the streets of Miami.
Unfortunately, this was just an old Al Gore discredited report and, once again, Obama looked like a fool.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When a woman says, "I can't even begin tell you how upset I am right now", just wait 3 seconds. 2) My grandfather use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels! 3) I missed my turn into my driveway yesterday and ended up at the local bar a few blocks over. 4) "Walk it off" does not apply to everything. For example, you can't walk off stupidity unless it's into oncoming traffic. 5) As I walk past the duck pond, the big white ugly duck with the red thing on his head eyes me ominously. I find myself nervously clutching my newly bought loaf of bread. I may run.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 4th: The right moment could come at any time. Be cuddly today and as fluffy as possible. The stars are looking good for you this week as Mars pulls into a region of the sky that foretells of future relationships. It's possible that women may scream out your name in bed, especially if you're eating cookies.
Birthdays: John Cotton, clergyman 1584, Thomas Carlyle, essayist, historian 1795, Lillian Russell, soprano 1861, Edith Cavell, nurse 1865, Rainer Maria Rilke, poet 1875, Francisco Franco, Spanish general and leader 1892, Dennis Wilson, singer and musician 1944, Jeff Bridges, actor 1949, Tyra Banks, model 1973.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A lady walked into a jewelry store and bent over to look more closely at a piece of jewelry, inadvertently breaking wind. Embarrassed, she looked around to see if anyone had heard the "accident" and prayed that no salesman would come to attend her until the "fog had lifted".
Her worst fears were realized when a salesman came to assist her. Hoping that the salesman was not near at the time, she nervously asked, "Sir, exactly how much is this lovely bracelet?" The salesman responded, "Lady, if you farted when you looked at it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks, "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" He replied, "Definitely not!"
His wife asked, "Why not? Don't you like being married?" He answered, "Of course I do." The wife said, "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" The husband said, "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
With a hurt look, she said, "You would?" His wife inquired, "Would you live in our house?" He answered, "Sure, it's a great house." She asked, "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" The husband replied, "Where else would we sleep?"
She continued, "Would you let her drive my car?" He said, "Probably, it is almost new." The wife asked, "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" He said, "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
She asked, "Would you give her my jewelry?" He answered, "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." His wife asked, "Would she use my golf clubs?" Her husband replied, "No, she's left-handed."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied, "I'm not sure but I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the right thing to do."
The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died. The father thought, "This kid is in contact with the other side." Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the Dad heard her say, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day; you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
That's it for today, my little missile toes. Remember, of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !