"But I Miss You Most Of All, My Darling, When Autumn Leaves Start To Fall"

I haven't been to a movie theater in over thirty years. It's not that I don't enjoy movies, rather, it's the atmosphere of today's movie theaters and its patrons that are a turn off. Dirty theaters, incredibly high ticket and food prices and that certain element of the viewing public that consists of morons who talk during the movie.

It is understandable that movies made for children would have considerably more noise than movies for more mature audiences and that's fine. But when you're sitting in a group of theoretical adults, it's a little disconcerting when a group of idiots begin to talk to the characters on the movie screen. Low IQ notwithstanding, even a chimpanzee can be trained to be quiet. Perhaps bringing a bunch of bananas as pacifier's may be the answer.

Things have changed since the days when my friends and I would ride our bicycles the two miles to the local theater on Saturdays. It was a time of great expectations and we rarely knew what movie was playing. We knew, however, that there would be cartoons, the weekly serial, Movietone news and the feature picture. Some Saturdays there would even be two featured movies.

We parked our bicycles out side (with no locks), bought our tickets (usually less than 25 cents) and went directly to the lobby to purchase a soft drink and popcorn. The total price was generally under one dollar and on the few days that we might have more than a dollar, a hot dog was the popular choice and possibly some candy.

In those days, we quickly learned that excessive or loud talking would quickly draw the ire of the usher, who would immediately shine his flashlight on the offending parties, a bright reminder that loud talking was not permitted in the theater. Should the usher have to reprimand you again, you risked being ejected from the theater. Even we kids were smart enough to realize that loud talking or putting your feet up on the chairs was not worth the risk of being kicked out of the theater.

As for me, when a new movie comes out that interests me, I either rent it or wait until it gets to cable. Aside from an occasional meow from my cat, Possum S. Hemmingway, I watch the movie in virtual silence and a bowl of Orville Redenbacher popcorn.

Speaking of movies, I managed to watch two movies this weekend, a feat in and of itself as I went to AREA 51 both Friday and Saturday, arriving home Sunday morning in the wee hours. It's been a while since I'd seen the paperboy. Although these movies may be old to you, I watched "No Country For Old Men" and "Milk."

No Country For Old Men, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, is based on the acclaimed novel by Pulitzer Prize winner Cormac McCarthy and was adapted for the screen and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen (Blood Simple, Fargo). It tells the story of a botched drug deal and the ensuing cat-and-mouse drama, as three men crisscross each other's paths in the desert landscape of 1980 West Texas.

The film was honored with numerous awards, garnering three British Academy of Film awards, two Golden Globes, and four Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director (Joel and Ethan Coen), Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor (Javier Bardem).

The movie fascinated me and is well acted. Javier Bardem was superb in his role as Anton Chigurh, a sociopathic assassin hired to recover drug money, and his character took on a Jason-esque quality (although much more believable than Halloween's Jason). I watched the movie twice and I'm probably going to have to watch it a third time to pick up all the subtleties. Although movie is violent and I would not recommend it for children under seventeen, it was an outstanding movie and easy to see why it garnered so many awards.

Milk is a 2008 American biographical film on the life of gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk, who was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Directed by Gus Van Sant and written by Dustin Lance Black, the film stars Sean Penn as Milk and Josh Brolin as Dan White. The film was released to much acclaim and earned numerous accolades from film critics and guilds. Ultimately, it received eight Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture, winning two for Best Actor in a Leading Role for Penn and Best Original Screenplay for Black.

Although this is not my type of film, I was interested to see why Sean Penn won an Academy Award for his role. I must admit that Penn's performance in the movie was very good, especially since he's a better known for his more defiant macho roles and even his comedic abilities (Fast Times At Ridgemont High). The obvious gay sexual innuendos and mild love scenes were a bit much, but the conflicts and history of that era were pretty much right on.

The ultimate assassinations of County Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone notwithstanding, the in-depth look at the happenings of that era were interesting, including the national agenda of former Florida citrus spokeswoman Anita Bryant and the fight for and against gay rights. One viewing was enough for me, but if you haven't seen the it, Penn's role as Harvey Milk makes the film interesting.

The News As I See It: A Northwest Airlines flight bound to Minneapolis from San Diego overshot the airport by 150 miles. Authorities suspect that the crew and pilot may have dozed off. The crew denies this. In the pilots' defense, the in-flight movie was "The Time Traveler's Wife." No guy can stay up for that. People are already criticizing the Obama administration's decision to cut the pay of the executives at companies that received bailout money. They say this could cause a lot of these guys to quit. Right! I sure wouldn’t want to lose the geniuses who lost us hundreds of billions of dollars.

China has accused Google of copyright infringement claiming Google scanned hundreds of Chinese authors’ work for Google's digital library without their permission. China is so upset they've threatened to stop using Google to illegally download American movies and CDs. That balloon boy incident was so intense, Maria Shriver put down her cell phone while driving, picked up her Sony TV Watchman to watch. It was smart for them to try this balloon stunt while President Obama's in office. That wouldn't have worked with Bush Administration. Cheney would have shot that balloon down.

This Date In History: 1825; The Erie Canal officially opens, providing inland water transportation between the East Coast and the Great Lakes region of North America. 1863; The Football Association, the world’s first such governing body for association football, is formed at the Freemasons’ Tavern, in Great Queen Street, London.

1881; In the “Gunfight at the O. K. Corral”, in Tombstone, Arizona, Marshal Wyatt Earp, and four others, including Doc Holliday, kill three suspected cattle rustlers of the notorious Clanton gang. 1960; Penguin Books go on trial in London accused of publishing pornographic material in the form of Lady Chatterley's Lover, by D. H. Lawrence.

1979; Twelve years into the World Health Organization’s vaccination campaign against smallpox, the last-ever naturally occurring case on Earth is reported in Somalia.

Picture Of The Day: The change of seasons always is a plethora of spectacular scenery and I was hard pressed to narrow my selections down to fit today's entry. Autumn is upon us and I decided that I'd just post some of the marvelous pictures that I have recently seen. One of the things that I learned today was that Autumn is the beginning of the season when the leaves begin to turn from green to the very beautiful array of seasonal colors. Fall describes the time of the season that the trees have lost all of their leaves.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Capital punishment isn't for making examples, it's for making bad people dead. 2) I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. 3) I often wonder just how much can I get away with and still go to heaven. 4) I don't think you should get married. Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house, it's a lot easier. 5) I think my wild oats are slowly turning into shredded wheat.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Georges Jacques Danton, French Revolutionary leader 1759, Mahalia Jackson, American gospel singer 1911, François Mitterrand, French politician, President of France (1981-1995), the longest-serving French presidential incumbent 1916, Muhammad Reza Shah Pahlavi, shah of Iran 1919, John Arden, playwright 1930, Hillary Clinton, American lawyer, senator and Secretary of State 1947.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. The rabbi said, "Wal-Mart? Why Wal-Mart?" The Old lady said, "Then I'll be sure my daughter will visit me twice a week."

A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years.

While the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt and my pals Garnett, Meg, Nancy and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said. "Shingles." So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had? Bubba said, "Shingles." So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later, a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles." So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles." The doctor asked, "Where?" Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?"

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took out a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" The woman said, "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious and asked, "I have never heard of that condition before. Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded and said, "Pepper."

That's it for today my little peppermint patties and patricks. Remember, if at first you don't succeed, try left field. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !