An Old Flame

In the social world and in life, there are certain memories of past events, people, places and things that ofttimes come to mind. These memories are usually cherished times in one's life that one can privately relive from time to time. It is uncertain as to why these memories are suddenly thrust back into the forefront of one's thoughts. Sometimes it's an old picture, a certain song, the smell of a particular perfume or just seeing that person, place or thing again that jogs one's memory.

On the other hand, there are those certain memories that one likes to leave undisturbed in the past with the hopes that it will just fade away. Those bad decisions and embarrassing moments that one would not care to remember are sometimes pushed into the mind's eye and cause shivers to run up and down one's spine.

I was watching television the other evening and while in the kitchen retrieving a cold Budweiser, I heard a voice from the past echo in the living room. My first reaction was to cringe and assume the fetal position, but in a moment I realized it was a commercial on the television set. My worst fears alleviated, I walked into the living room to watch the last part of the commercial.

I don't know who the actress is that did the commercial, but I can assure you that I once went out with a woman who had the same voice. I actually met her one evening years ago as I was leaving one nightclub for another. She sent me a note saying that she was a friend of a friend and would I like to meet her later a certain nightclub. Since I was going to that club anyway, I stopped by her table and told her I'd meet her there later and she said, "Okay."

She was a pretty girl and when I arrived at the club, I ran into two business associates of mine who were with their ladies and they invited me to join them. I explained that I was meeting someone and they said to invite her as well. For the sake of conversation, we'll call this pretty young lady "Bobby Jo."

Well, Bobby Jo arrived and I invited her to sit with my friends and we began to converse. Since the only words I had heard from her was "okay," let's just say I was a bit taken aback when she spoke and I quickly figured out that she was not a member of Mensa. On the contrary, it turns out that Bobby Jo was an "exotic dancer" who had been having a few drinks with her friends.

Although I quickly knew that Bobby Jo and I did not have anything in common, she seemed to be a nice girl and I stuck it out the rest of the evening with her. We parted that evening as friends and needless to say, for the next two or three weeks my buddies always asked how "Bobby Jo" was doing.

To tell the truth, I liked Bobby Jo's bubbly personality and if it had not been for her particular "profession", we might have hit it off. Nevertheless, such are the spices of life and since I've always been fortunate with the caliber of ladies that I've socialized with over the years, I'm not going to complain about occasional dating mishaps.

So, ya say ya wanna hear Bobby Jo? Turn off my playlist on the left side bar and, for your dining and dancing pleasure, watch the following commercial. Here's the voice of "Bobby Jo."

The News As I See It: The White House decided last month to leave out Fox News Sunday when the president made the rounds of Sunday shows. It seems to me that The White House is satisfied to leave the reporting to the more liberal and obviously democratically oriented CNN rather than hear all sides and views of the issues. More importantly, on June 24, 2009, with the second quarter coming to a close, Fox News averaged about the same number of viewers as CNN and the other two cable news networks combined. Since I like to hear all sides of any story before coming to a decision, it's interesting to know that the Obama White House is satisfied by hand picking the news as they see it.

Talk about your political whores, Aarlen Specter (D-Penn) ran off at the mouth about the Republican party this weekend, citing it as the "No Party." In April 2009, the Five-term Senator switched from the Republican to the Democratic Party. His reason was that he found himself increasingly "at odds with the Republican philosophy." The truth of the matter is that Spector made the switch for fear of losing his Republican seat. Former Rep. Pat Toomey, who nearly defeated Specter in the Pennsylvania GOP Senate primary in 2004, was ahead of Specter in the Pennsylvania polls in a hypothetical primary matchup, 41 to 27 percent.

This Date In History: 1469; Prince Ferdinand of Aragón marries his cousin, Princess Isabella of Castile, creating the alliance that will lead to a unified Spain. 1781; The American War of Independence effectively ends with the surrender of British forces at Yorktown, Virginia.

1813; The Battle of Leipzig, also known as the Battle of the Nations, ends with defeat for Napoleon I and victory for the armies of Austria, Prussia, Russia, and Sweden. 1987; Black Monday sees stock market prices in London, Tokyo, and New York decline precipitously in one of the most dramatic losses in stock value ever recorded in one day.

Picture Of The Day: As long as the people who do these excellent photoshop pictures, I'll continue to show them to you. Mostly comical, the photoshop works are also a form of visual public and political statements about the things that happen today. From the many pictures I see on a daily basis on my treks around the Internet, there's a lot of people who have something to say. Many of these pictures are immediately emailed around the country and I try to bring you the most prevalent subject matter of the day.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I saw a sign in a Chinese pet store that read, "Buy one dog, get one flea." 2) Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 3) I've often wondered why banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 4) In a relationship, just like law enforcement, you have the right to remain silent. This is an excellent idea as anything you say will probably be misquoted, then used against you. 5) I hope this year's Christmas gift is better that last year's gift. Last year, I got a sweater. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Sir Thomas Browne, doctor and essayist 1605, Leigh Hunt, poet, essayist, and literary critic 1784, Auguste Lumière, French pioneer film-maker 1862, John Le Carré, British novelist and master of the political thriller 1931.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. He asks his wife, "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" His wife says, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" The old man says, "Sure." His wife says, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" The old man replies, "No, I can remember it."

The wife says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." His wife says, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."

They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.

A crusty old man walks into the local Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir, I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" The old man said, "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" The woman said, "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" The old man says, "There is no damn problem. I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." The pastor says, "I see. And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

That's it for today my little doodlebugs. Remember,If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !