In Memory Of My Nephew Jonathan Sullivan

Today is the sixth anniversary of the death of my nephew, Jonathan. It seems like just yesterday that my father, Jonathan, his father Kirt and I, were sitting in my father's living room and shooting the bull. Little Joe, as we called him, was just a toddler then.

Time passed, as time is wont to do and all the kids grew up. Through thick and thin, divorces and the inevitable changes that all families go through, all of the children became healthy adults. Jonathan joined the United States Navy, serving his country like his father and grandfather before him.

Then, I received a phone call one morning from Brother Kirt. He called to tell me that Jonathan had died. A feeling of complete numbness went over my body and I listened while my brother explained the details of Jonathon's death. It felt almost unreal that Jonathan had died. Other than older family members that are taken over time, none of our children or relatives had ever died young.

Sister Jeanne and I drove up to Kirt's home to be with the family and attended the funeral. I was pleased to see all the family and friends that attended the funeral and it made me feel good inside that Jonathan was loved and cared for by so many.

I will reflect today on Jonathn's brief life and be thankful that all my family and especially my children, nieces and nephews are here to enjoy life. My sincere wishes for a wonderful and caring day for Brother Kirt, Jonathan's mother Janet, sisters Sommer, Ashley and Kimberly, and his brothers, Billy and Chance. Rest In Peace, JoJo.

The News As I See It: The Prez has been criticized for only playing sports with other men. Yesterday, he played golf with one of his top female advisers or as Fox News reported it, "Obama plays a round with another woman." Obama has played more golf in nine months than George Bush played in nearly three years. Bush's handicap is 19. Obama's handicap is Joe Biden.

The White House announced that the government wants to give every senior citizen $250 next year. This is part of his "Cash for Geezers" program." If you're a senior citizen working on Wall Street, then you get $250 thousand. The balloon hoax is still in the news. Usually when there's a hoax involving a balloon, it's some kind of Countrywide Mortgage scam.

Prosecutors in New York City have filed charges against a man they claim scammed dozens of illegal aliens by posing as an immigration lawyer. They say this guy lied to his clients, gave them bad advice and stole their money. Hmm, I don't know, sounds like a real lawyer to me. The ASPCA has now released a list of guidelines and tips if you’re going to dress your pet up in a costume for Halloween. The first tip is, “Get a life.”

Donald Trump’s daughter was married last week at one of her father’s golf courses, and she converted to Orthodox Judaism. Of course, as soon as she became Jewish, she was kicked off the golf course. The Congressional attitude about Obamacare is: To see if your health insurance can save your life or just make it a little better, we need to know if you're a government politician or a common taxpayer.

This Date In History: 1636; The college that would later be known as Harvard University is founded by an act of the General Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1886; The Statue of Liberty is formally dedicated by President Grover Cleveland. 1919; US Congress passes the National Prohibition Act, or Volstead Act, despite President Woodrow Wilson's veto of the previous day, introducing Prohibition.

1962; The Cuban Missile Crisis ends as Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev announces his government's intent to dismantle and remove all offensive Soviet weapons from Cuba. 1998; Poet Laureate Ted Hughes dies at his home in Devon aged 68.

Picture Of The Day: A chimpanzee named Dorothy recently died of natural causes. Dorothy was in her late 40s, which is well into retirement age for a chimp, when she succumbed to heart failure. As caregivers at the Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center bore her by wheelbarrow for burial, the typically boisterous apes rushed to the edge of their wired enclosure and fell silent.

They stood -- wrapping arms around one another, resting on each other's shoulder and not making a sound -- as Dorothy's female keeper adjusted her head in preparation for a final farewell. Dorothy was a "prominent figure" among the extended family of about 25 chimps at Sanaga-Yong, and the sanctuary's caregivers made sure the other apes witnessed her last rites.

The chimps, united in mourning, remained there as they watched Dorothy's keeper give her a final, loving stroke on her forehead and then lowered her into the ground. The chimps already knew the meaning of deep personal loss.
All of those living at Sanaga-Yong had been orphaned when their mothers were killed by hunters.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I'm embarrassed to tell you that I discovered that my refrigerator has two large unused drawers at the bottom. The fact that they are transparent and you can see that they're obviously empty never dawned on me. As it turns out, that is where one would store vegetables. Please remember to visit me at the AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill. 2) If you choke a Smurf, I wonder what color does it turn? 3) Bigamy is one wife too many. Come to think about it, so is monogamy. 4) It's important to look out for #1, and not to step in #2. 5) I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.....and that's five !

Birthdays: My daughter, Jeannie. Actually, her birthday is tomorrow, so this birthday wish is a day early. Happy B-Day Sweetheart 19XX, My pal, Lourdes - Happy Birthday Baby 19XX, Cornelis Jansen, Flemish theologian 1585, Auguste Escoffie, French chef, and master of the haute-cuisine style of French cookery originated by Marie Antoine Carême 1846, Howard Hanson, American composer 1896, Evelyn Waugh, author of satirical novels 1903, Francis Bacon, painter 1909, Jonas Salk, American doctor and epidemiologist 1914, Cleo Laine, jazz singer 1927, Bill Gates, American business executive 1955.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An older woman, wanting to put more zest into her life, walks into a tattoo parlour and asks "Do you do custom work?" The artists says, "Yes ma'am, we do." The woman says, "Good! I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh." The artist says, "Okay, strip from the waist down and get up on the table."

After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits, examines the tattoos and says, "That doesn't look like them!" The artist says, "Oh yes it does and I can prove it." With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find, who happens to be the town drunk.

The woman spreads he legs and asks the drunk, "Well, what do you think? Do you know who these men are?' The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt and my pals Frances and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. The boy said, "Mom, what are all those women doing ?" His mother replied, "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work." The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth!? They're hookers, boy. They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?" His mother says, "Most of them become cab drivers."

** Why Brazil won over Chicago for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games **

Little Johnny had a cursing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gifts he requests."

Two days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a damned teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damned train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damned bike leaning against the damned garage."

Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage.

When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?" Johnny replied, "I think I got a dog, but I can't find the son-of-a-bitch!"

That's it for today my little chili peppers. Remember, sacred cows make the best hamburgers. Hump Day is upon us and I can't find a better reason to go to AREA 51 for Happy Hour. More on Friday

Stay Tuned !