The Boston Globe, in a move akin to the Chicago Tribune's errant front page headline "Dewey Defeats Truman" in the 1948 presidential election, jumped the gun and declared Martha Coakley the winner in yesterday’s election…about 10 hours before the polls closed. I guess they just got overly excited and it was just a case of premature election. My hopes are that Scott Brown's upset win, combined with the clear message that was sent to Washington, D.C., will force the House and Senate career politicians to realize that America is getting fed up with partisan politics and their jobs may well be on the line in the November 2010 elections.
Brown seems to be like a breath of fresh air on the surface, but we'll let time and his actions determine how effective he will be. Then again, if he's got the balls to be the centerfold of the June 1982 edition of Cosmoplitan magazine, shyness may not be a part of his repertoire. We'll see..... The News As I See It: A year into Obama's first term in office, unemployment is higher, the national debt is higher, and there are more soldiers serving in Afghanistan. When asked about it, Obama said, "Well, yes but technically, that is change." California is about to legalize marijuana. If you thought Governor Schwarzenegger was hard to understand before.......
New Jersey legalized medical marijuana. Finally, the cast of "Jersey Shore" can get a prescription for something other than penicillin. iPhone has a new app that alerts you if your spouse is trying to read your e-mails and text messages. Experts are calling it a revolutionary product and Tiger Woods is calling it "about two months too late."
Starbucks recently raised the prices on almost all of its popular drinks. A company spokesperson said Starbucks is confident that people will still buy their coffee, because it was already way too expensive before. A new $65 tour called the "L.A. Gang Tour" is being offered in Los Angeles that takes tourists through L.A.’s most dangerous neighborhoods. The gang tour is also known by its other name, "A cab ride from the airport." This Date In History: 1801; John Marshall was appointed Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court 1841; As a result of the First Opium War, Hong Kong was ceded to the British. 1942; The Nazis formulated their "Final Solution" regarding the Jews at the Wannsee Conference.
1964; The Beatles released their first album in the United States, Meet the Beatles. 1981; President Reagan became the oldest president to take office (69 years and 349 days). 1981; 52 American hostages seized from the American Embassy in Tehran were released after 444 days in captivity.
Picture Of The Day: Without seeming to be too shallow using this graphic, when opportunity knocks, it's a good idea to seize it. Hopefully, the Republican party will be able to take their new opportunity and not only use it to their advantage, but give the American public the same advantage and respect. Maybe if they try to set a better example, the Democrats will follow suit, and, who knows, maybe they'll accomplish something. Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh. 2) Geez if you believe in honkus. 3) Capital punishment isn't for making examples, it's for making bad people dead. 4) If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. 5) If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?.....and that's five !
Birthdays: George Burns, actor, comedian 1896, Joy Adamson, writer and conservationist 1910, Federico Fellini, filmmaker 1920, DeForest Kelley, actor 1920, Buzz Aldrin (Edwin Eugene Aldrin, Jr.) American astronaut 1930, David Lynch, filmmaker 1946.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for. The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second man asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man replied, "You probably could if you took 2 pills." The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the unsteady drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the hell is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied, "I'm not real sure but I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informed him that he was not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested to the drunk to prove he wasn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor. As the drunk was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups. He looks at him for a minute and says, "Hey Buddy, I think your girl friend has gone home." A drunk is sitting in a bar drunk and asks the bartender, "Where's the bathroom at?" The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right." Suddenly, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream coming from the bathroom, and they wonder about what's going on in there. A few minutes go by, and again, everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom.
This time, the bartender decides to investigate, and he goes into the bathroom to see what the drunk is screaming about. He opens the door and asks the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away." The drunk whines, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls!" The bartender looks down and says, "No wonder! You're sitting on a mop bucket."
That's it for today my little bran muffins. Remember, being "over the hill" is much better than being under it. That said, I'm going to check my pulse and if I have one, I'm heading to AREA 51 for Happy Hour! More on Friday
Stay Tuned !