HAPPY DAYS

Tom Bosley, who played Ritchie Cunningham's father (Howard) on "Happy Days" died of heart failure yesterday at a hospital near his home in Palm Springs, California, at the age of 83. I cannot remember how many Happy Days episodes that I watched during it's run, but the show was a big part of my life in that era and I, along with most of my friends, enjoyed it thoroughly.

Who could forget the antics of Fonzie, Ritchie, Potsie and Ralph Mouth? In a memorable era when television was a little more conservative, Happy Days was a nice escape back to yesterday and the innocence of the day. Tom Bosely was an integral part of the show and a reminder of how the youth respected their parents and their elders. Rest in peace, Mr. Bosely.

The News As I See It: Last week was a very joyous week. A week where the whole world was watching a bunch of men trying to climb out of a hole they dug for themselves -- but enough about the Democrats. Lets talk about those Chilean miners. Americans love Chilean miners. I haven't seen so much hoopla about an endless procession emerging from a scary hole since the Octomom.

One miner had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining.They miners have already agreed to a movie deal. Even though several studios wanted to tell their story, they chose to remake "Saturday Night Fever" instead.

"The Talk" is a new show that features six women of different backgrounds discussing issues. Some people say it’s a rip-off of "The View," but it’s not. "The View" has five women.

Vice President Joe Biden said that the Democrats up for election aren't running on their accomplishments because they're too hard to explain. So basically he's saying either voters are to stupid to understand or the Democrats are too stupid to explain it. You know what's even harder to explain? Why the Democrats are letting Joe Biden talk with the election just a couple weeks away.

This Date In History: 1803; The Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase. 1944; Gen. Douglas MacArthur returned to the Philippines, 30 months after he said "I shall return." 1947; The U.S. House Un-American Activities Committee opened meetings about alleged Communist infiltration in the Hollywood film industry.

1964; The 31st president of the United States, Herbert Hoover, died in New York at age 90. 1968; Jacqueline Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 1973; The Sydney Opera House was opened by Queen Elizabeth II.

1973; During the Watergate scandal, Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson and Deputy Attorney General William B. Ruckelshaus resigned and special prosecutor Archibald Cox was dismissed by President Nixon in what came to be known as the "Saturday Night Massacre."

Picture Of The Day: Aside from the pictoral tribute to Tom Bosely, the rest of today's pictures are just some subtle headlines from the photoshop gang.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Innocence is defined as a Nun working in condom factory and thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice. 2) Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. 3) Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's McDonald's. 4) The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. 5) Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk......and that's five !

Birthdays: Sir Christopher Wren, English architect 1632, Arthur Rimbaud, poet 1854, John Dewey, philosopher, educator 1859, Charles Ives, composer 1874, Bela Lugosi, actor 1882, Jelly Roll Morton, musician 1890.

Arlene Francis, actress, TV personality 1907, Art Buchwald, humorist 1925, Mickey Mantle, baseball player 1931, Elfriede Jelinek, novelist and playwright 1946, Tom Petty, musician 1950, Viggo Mortensen, actor 1958.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." He replied, "My darling, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Cajun and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

Boudreaux suddenly quit drinking, took a bath, quit chasing women, quit his poker games and started laying around. He started cutting the grass around the church, even painted it and was faithful to be first to attend on Sundays!

Father Thibodeaux asked him, "What about dis wonderful change that has done overtook you?" Boudreaux explained, "I heard 'Crisis in the Gulf of Mexico' and if He’s dat close, I wanna to be good to go!"

A man is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second man approaches and asks if he can join him. The first man says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?" The first fellow says that he usually plays alone, and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the terms.

Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes. As they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers. The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church. The second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic, offering to give the priest back his money.

The priest says, "No, you won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" The priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And if you bring your mother and father, I'll marry them for you."

A older man picked up a date at her parents’ home. He’d scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu, shrimp cocktail, lobster and Champagne. The man asked, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?" The young woman replied, "No, but my mother’s not expecting a blow job tonight." The man said, "Enjoy your dinner....."

That's it for today my little kiddie kats. Remember, dawn is nature's way of telling you to go to bed. Think I'll mosey on over to AREA 51 for happy hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !