Monday, December 27, 2010

A Death On Christmas Day

Christmas day brought some sad news. Early Saturday morning, my very good friend, Doctor Marcos Zequiera, passed away. Dr. Mark had been in the hospital for about two weeks after breaking his leg and was, for all practical purposes, recovering. Dr. Mark was a family friend and treated both of my parents in their medical times of need, beginning with open heart surgery on my mother more than thirty years ago and later with many surgeries on my father.

Dr. Mark and I also spent many good times together in AREA 51 and these are the times that I will remember. Both of us, along with several personal and business friends, would get together after work to socialize and relieve the daily stress.

Besides being a renown thoracic surgeon, Dr. Mark was a Naval Commander and served in a battlefield hospital during the Gulf War.

My first thoughts about Dr. Mark's untimely death was that it would be a tragic reminder of his passing every Christmas. After some further thought, I have realized that each December 25th will be an additional personal celebration for me, reminding me of the countless good times we spent together. Rest in peace my dear friend.

The News As I See It: President Obozo signed the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" into law on the morning of December 22nd. He would have signed it the night before, but supporters of the bill didn't want to miss that night's episode of 'Glee.'"

On a flight from Cuba to Canada last week, a man threatened to shoot flight attendants after they stopped serving him drinks. He has been charged with making death threats and if convicted, he could lose his pilot's license.

This Date In History: 1831; Darwin began his voyage aboard the HMS Beagle. 1900; Prohibitionist Carry Nation smashed her first saloon. 1932; Radio City Music Hall in New York City opened. 1945; The World Bank was created with an agreement signed by 28 nations.

1949; The Netherlands transferred sovereignty to Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 1979; The Soviet Union took control of Afghanistan, installing Afghan politician Babrak Karmal as president. 1996; Rwanda's first genocide trial opened for the 1994 slaughter of 800,000 Tutsis.

2001; President Bush permanently normalized trade relations with China. 2001; The U.S. announced plans to hold Taliban and al-Qaeda prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Picture Of The Day: Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks jerk, has signed a 1.3 million book deal. Assange is currently free on bail in Great Britain, where he is fighting extradition to Sweden over alleged sex crimes. "I don't want to write this book, but I have to," he said in an interview with the newspaper. "I have already spent 200,000 pounds for legal costs and I need to defend myself and to keep WikiLeaks afloat."

While Assange's website has released hundreds of thousands of American military and diplomatic secrets, he's been reticent to disclose details of his own life. With any luck at all, the asshole will go broke and crawl back under the rock he came from.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) For Christmas, I got a new shirt and a piece of ass...they were both too big. 2) I also got a sweater. It was nice, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 3) I still have my Christmas tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. 4) I got a Christmas email from my Nigerian friend who is going to share his bank account money with me. He asked me if I sent the check of good faith. I told him the check's in the mail. That's one of the two lies that have been useful for me in the past. 5) The best offer I saw on television this weekend was an offer for a "free" gift. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?......and that's five !

Birthdays: My pal, Laurie. Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Johannes Kepler, astronomer 1571, Sir George Cayley, scientist and aerial navigator 1773, Louis Pasteur, French Chemist 1822, Sydney Greenstreet, actor 1879, Marlene Dietrich, actress 1901, Gerard Depardieu, actor 1948.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

There are two brothers, aged four and six. The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear." The four year old says "Okay." The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'" The four year old says "Okay."

So they go downstairs and their mother says "What would you boys like for breakfast?" The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes." Whack! The kid goes flying across the room. The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would you like for breakfast?" The four year old says "I don't know, but you can bet your sweet ass it's not corn flakes."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" The boy replies, "Eight." The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for? The boy says, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one."

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." His mother asked, "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" The boy replied, "Yes."

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which, is four."

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 7-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments later, he calls out, "Looks like the Anderson's have company."

A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving." After a few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex." Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?" The boy replied, "Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

That's it for today my little pussy cats. Remember, once over the hill, you pick up speed. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


Adirondackcountrygal said...

Hi Jimmy, hope you had a good holiday. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Love the jokes as always..

Rose said...

My condolences to you for your friend, Dr. Mark.

It is always sad to lose a dear friend. I'm sure you have wonderful memories of your friendship with him.


jack69 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jack69 said...

Sorry to hear about Dr. Mark.

I guess many folks are hard of hearing. I though she said the son of a witch is 4. But we all have our handicaps!!!
Thanks for the laughs as usual.

Paula said...

Sympathy in the loss of your dear friend. I like the popsicle joke.

Joann said...

Jimmy, I'm so sorry about the passing of your friend.... and on Christmas day too, very sad.

The rest of your post cracked me up, as always.


madcobug said...

So sorry about the loss of your Doctor friend. Cute jokes. Helen

Ally Lifewithally said...

Jimmy I am so sorry to hear about your Friend Dr Mark ~
Ally xdplampl

Woody said...

Jimmy, sorry !
Hope 2011 turns out to be a good year for you with many more to come.


Janice said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend.

I always enjoy reading your blogs. Happy New Year to you.

Janice S.

REGINA said...

jimmy, so sorry for your loss. losing a longtime friend is like losing a close relative. as you said though, at christmastime, you will have a friendship and memories to celebrate.